


Mary Bartons

by HawkyBarton



Series: The many AUs of Clint Francis Barton [4]
Category: Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, Clint is only 19, F/M, IF ANYTHING TRIGGERS ANYONE I'M SORRY PLEASE TELL ME AND DON'T MURDER ME, M/M, SHIT ABOUT TO GO DOWN IN CHAPTER TEN, This is just becoming a shitfuck of hawkeye comics canon and AOS canon, Will add more character tags when they aren't so spoilerific, bird bros in the house, but can do a lot of shit, but just in case, but shit about to go down, fuck buddies!Sam and Clint, i apologize for all the drama, i completely forgot to add tags as i went along, i don't think anything will, i'll add more tags as i go along, so enjoy that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-31 06:56:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3968698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkyBarton/pseuds/HawkyBarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title is, of course, an homage to Mary Poppins. </p><p>The story, however, is not. </p><p>Clint is the new Avengers Nanny. </p><p>Lord have mercy on everyone</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Interview

Phil Coulson was a man who did many things. He controlled the Avengers with ease, he could fight off ten men with a paper clip, he made excellent coffee, and he could kiss his children’s’ boo-boos better. He couldn’t, however, decide on the perfect nanny.

 

Phil didn’t know how or why or when he became the official ‘decider of the nanny’ for the Avengers and his own kids, he just knew he hated it.

 

Who knew how difficult it would be to have a nanny that ticked all the boxes? Certainly not Phil.

 

The Nanny for the Avengers had to go above and beyond any other nanny in the world. Hell, they had to pretty much be a SHIELD Agent for this to work.

 

Clunking his head down against the desk in a rare moment of despair, Phil buzzed the secretary out front to send in the last of the interviewees for the Nanny position.

 

_If this one doesn’t work out, we’re screwed._

 

Phil looked up right as the door opened, and a stunningly good-looking man walked in and smiled at Phil, his hand outstretched.

Standing up, Phil shook the man’s hand before gesturing for him to sit down.

Plopping down himself, Phil flipped open the man’s file that he had yet to peruse. “You know Mr. Barton, I am surprised. Not many men would like the position of being a nanny. Most consider it to be a little too…. Feminine, for their tastes”

Barton just shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t really know about them sir, I just know that I’ve been taking care of kids my entire life…. Well, almost my entire. There weren’t any younger kids than myself to take care of until I reached the orphanage”

Phil nodded, “Yes. I see that you helped the nuns with the children there, you also…. Were in a circus? Is that correct?”

Barton nodded, “I was. I helped with the performer’s kids when I wasn’t performing myself”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “You performed?”

Barton nodded once again, “‘World’s Greatest Marksman,’ or at least that’s what they billed me as. I’m sure there are several snipers and mercenaries who would disagree with me”

Phil chuckled, “I’m sure there are….. So after the circus, you got your GED and then helped out at a daycare center, Boys and Girls Club, and you were even a Big Brother…”

“Yes sir”

Phil nodded, “Well you don’t have any formal experience, but sometimes that’s much better…..”

Phil set the file down, “Now. You know that the Avengers and myself are in the limelight a lot, and partake in a lot of dangerous things”

Barton smiled, “I do own a TV sir”

Phil just raised an eyebrow, “Yes. Anyway, as I was saying. Because of this, sometimes the kids could or possibly will be put in danger. So, the nanny that we hire needs to be able to protect the children”

Barton nodded, “Not a problem sir. I know several different forms of martial arts.”

Phil hummed, “And they would be?”

“Taekwondo, Jiu Jitzu, Karate, street fighting, boxing, Krav Maga, sword fighting, Aikido, Judo, fencing, archery of course, Mardani Khel, Sambo, and I’m starting to get into Kalaripayattu”

Phil’s eyebrows steadily rose the longer Barton went on, until they were almost at his hairline. “That…. That is a lot for someone who is only”

Phil looked down at his file, “19…. You’re only 19?”

Barton nodded, “Yes sir…… Does my age matter?”

Phil shook his head, “No. Not at all. I was just surprised”

Barton smiled, “Most people are.”

Phil nodded, “Well it seems you’ll definitely be able to handle any security issues, on to item two. Languages. Do you speak any?”

Barton nodded once again, “Yes. German, French, Italian, Spanish, Korean, Greek, Tagalog, Russian, Arabic, Vietnamese, ASL, Farsi, Mandarin, Japanese, Dutch, and Gaelic – but I’m rusty”

Phil just blinked, “You speak 16 languages and you’re only 19”

Barton smiled, “I traveled to a lot of places. You learn the language or you don’t eat, sleep, or get tips”

Phil nodded slowly, “Uh… Right…. On to some other questions.”

Barton smiled and settled back against his chair.

“Who’s your favorite Avenger?”

“Black Widow”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “Any particular reason?”

“I saw her in action about ten years ago. Saved my butt. Also, she’s so badass, pardon the French”

Phil just nodded, “Right….. Any special skills?”

Clint hummed, “Well besides the sword fighting, archery, and so on, I like swimming, piano, guitar, singing, plays multiple sports, I can do make-up and hair…. Oh! And I love to cook”

Phil blinked, “That’s… that’s really impressive for someone your age. Seriously.”

Barton shrugged, “I had a lot of free time”

Phil just shook his head, _this kid has no ego._ “Okay. Next question. Willing to live-in?”

“Yes”

Phil nodded, “Your opinions on night-times”

Barton sighed and looked at Phil, “To be honest sir? I believe that children should go to parents first during the night because the parents should be the ones to soothe the kids, _but_ I also believe the nanny should always be there to help.”

Phil nodded, “Good answer. Why do you want this job?”

Barton just gave Phil a sheepish smile, “I saw a picture of one of the kids in the newspaper. He looked scared and alone. I wanted to help him.”

Phil was surprised. That wasn’t the answer people usually gave. Phil remembered that article. The child in the picture had been his own son, Robby. Robby had been pulled away from Phil in the crowd and had been on the verge of tears before Phil had gotten to him.

The whole team had been outraged when they saw the magazine the next day, causing this search to find a nanny.

“Admirable. So… Last Question…. Why do you think you will get this job?”

Barton looked Phil dead in the eyes with a serious expression (not something most people could do) “Because I _can_ help them. All of them”

Phil just smiled and stood up, offering his hand to Barton “Welcome to the team Mr. Barton”

Barton just smiled and shook Phil’s hand in return.


	2. Meeting the Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day ( okay more than just a day) in the life of Clint Barton, nanny of the Avengers (a year after he was hired)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference (just so I don't have to mention it constantly in fic)  
> Peitro and Wanda Maximoff – 14  
> Robert (Robby) Coulson – 7  
> Belinda Potts- Stark – 7  
> Viktor Barnes – 7  
> Audun Foster Thorson – 6 ½  
> Noah Rogers – 6  
> Connor Banner – 6  
> Maria Potts-Stark – 5  
> Rebecca (Becky) Barnes – 5  
> Dustin Foster Thorson – 5  
> Julianna Coulson – 4 ½  
> Margaret (Peggy) Rogers – 4  
> Emily Banner – 2
> 
> A/N:Also sorry this took so long and kind of sucks, my muse was all over the place. The next chapter will be better and quicker

Clint was going to kill someone. Seriously, he was. Whoever thought it was a good idea to shove a microphone into a child’s face with blinding lights from cameras forcing that child into a nervous breakdown deserved to die.

And if Clint ever found out who did that to Pietro as he was walking home from his track practice, Clint was going to fill them full of arrows. God.

Pietro (and his twin sister Wanda) were mutants. The Avengers had found them in a research lab in Sokovia, where they had been taken against their will and forced into experiments, the men trying to harness their powers or some shit like that.

Originally, Clint knew that the Avengers had wanted to ship the twins off to some school up-state that was specifically for mutants, but had decided against it when the younger kids had taken a shine to the older ones.

Clint loved the twins with all his heart, and it had taken almost a full year of being their nanny to get them to trust him.

Now, it had all gone to waste.

“Wanda, come on. You know I-”

“You should have been there! He was all alone, and they frightened him!”

Wanda was right. Clint should have been there to walk Pietro home from practice. But Robby had had a dentist appointment, and Pietro had promised he could walk by himself.

Now because of his mistake, Pietro has locked himself in his room and refused to come out.

_Damn reporters._

“I know Wanda. I know it was my fault. But I need to see your brother, I need to check on him. If I have to, I’ll go through the vents. But I think the door would be better, don’t you?”

Wanda glared at him in a way only 14 year olds could. “Why? What good will you do?”

Clint smiled, “Comfort Wanda. I can give him comfort. Can you let me in so I can do that? That is my job you know”

Wanda looked at Clint for a moment before nodding and moving away from the door, Clint smiled at her and walked in.

“Alright my little speed demon, where are you hiding?”

 

\

It took Clint over two hours to calm Pietro down, and get the punk out of his room (bribed. The word is bribed. Clint bribed Pietro out of his room with promise to train with him in the gym over the week. Clint regrets nothing)

As Clint stepped out of the room with Pietro in tow, he got one nod from Wanda before she tackled her twin in a hug, and off Clint was to his next problem.

Going down the elevator, Clint got off on the floor that led to Stark and Banner’s laboratory, and walked in.

Clint immediately spotted Banner and Stark looking around the room in a frenzy.

“Anything I can help you boys with?”

Stark was the first one to spin, “Fran Dresher! Thank fuck you’re here. The wonder twins are loose in the lab and refuse to come out”

Clint chuckled, the wonder twins were what Stark and Banner affectionately called Connor Banner and Maria Potts-Stark (during their escapades of course). The two children were best friends, and loved to cause mischief with their fathers.

“Alright, let’s see. Wonder twins… Wonder twins… I _wonder_ where they could be hiding.”

Stark groaned, “Come on Jane Eyre, that was a terrible pun”

Clint held a finger up, shushing Stark as he heard two giggles come from the corner of the room.

“You were saying Stark?”

Banner laughed, “Nothing. He was saying nothing, because he has nothing to say. Come on out you two, unless you don’t want to help us with our latest experiment?”

Clint just shook his head fondly, walking away as soon as the two scurried from their hiding spots and attached themselves to their parent’s legs.

_Alright, who’s next?_

 

~

It didn’t take him very long.

In fact, all Clint had to do was walk out of the elevator on the communal floor, and he found his next issue to solve.

There, in front of the huge ass TV, was Julianna Coulson having a total meltdown. Next to her was her father, Phil Coulson, looking on in undiluted shock.

Not that Clint could blame Coulson at all really. Julianna was usually as cool as a cucumber (something that she got from her father, and possibly her mother if Clint guessed correctly), so her tamptrum would not be something that Phil would have been prepared for.

Clint, however, had been waiting for this to happen.

Lately, Julianna had been talking a lot about her mom (who had died during childbirth), and how the rest of her friends had a mother and she didn’t. Clint had been meaning to mention that to Coulson, so the man could talk to Julianna about her mom, but hadn’t gotten the chance yet.

_Well, now is a good a time as any._

Strolling into the scene, Clint crouched down next to Julianna and waited for her to run out of steam.

“Wow that was impressive. You gonna explain to your papa why you’re upset”

Julianna glared at Clint and didn’t say a word.

“Oh, the silent treatment. Well, if you’re going to be silent, I guess there’s nothing your papa and I can do. Nothing at all. Nope. We can’t help you, or talk to you about anything. Nothing.”

Julianna continued to stay silent.

Clint shrugged and stood up, turning to Phil.

“Well, I guess Ms. Julianna just wants to be by herself. You hungry Coulson? I was going to make myself a sandwich”

Coulson, taking the hint, nodded to Clint. “In fact I am hungry, thank you Clint. Have fun sitting here by yourself Jules”

Clint smiled and waved for Phil to go first into the communal kitchen, following closely behind him and making sure they door separating the kitchen and living room shut firmly.

Coulson whirled around, “Please tell me you know what’s going on because I have no clue”

Clint chuckled, “Park it at the table Coulson, I’ll make a sandwich for both of us and explain”

Coulson nodded and sat down at the table with a grace that made Clint jealous (and just a tad bit horny if he was fully honest with himself), “Go on”

Clint nodded and began to make their sandwiches “Do you ever talk to Julianna or Robby about their mom?”

Clint winced as Coulson seemed to freeze in place, but knew the conversation had to happen.

“Uh… no. Not really. I know it’s been 4 years, but I…. it’s just hard.” Coulson looked up at Clint, “Does that make me a bad father?”

Clint shook his head quickly, “Not at all. As the leading authority on knowing what bad fathers look like, you’re not even close.”

Grabbing the sandwiches, Clint walked over to the table and sat down across from Coulson, sliding the sandwich over to him. “It’s okay to still feel pain when talking about someone you loved who passed away. I totally understand that. _But,_ Julianna doesn’t. Julianna never knew her mom, only had pictures of her face, so she’s curious. Then she has her friends at school who all have mommies and daddies and are thinking Julianna is weird for not having a mom. So now she’s getting even curiouser, but also upset because now she’s seen as an outsider from her friends. I don’t know what happened today at day care, but I know she was in a mood as we drove over to Robby’s dentist appointment. Did she say anything to you before she exploded?”

Coulson nodded, “I said that it was time for some daddy-Julianna time, she said she didn’t want daddy-Juliana time, and then proceeded to break down”

Clint hummed, “Makes sense. She probably wants some Mommy-Juliana time, but knows she’ll never get it. So now she’s screaming it out. My suggestion to you would be to go in there, be firm with her about how tamptrums won’t solve anything, take her upstairs and have a nice chat with her about her mom…. If you think you’re ready for it that is”

Coulson looked down at his sandwich for a moment, then sighed. “I may not be ready to fully talk to her about Audrey, but I’ll do what I have to. I don’t want my baby girl never knowing who her mother was”

Clint smiled and stood up, patting Coulson’s hand “Then go get her tiger. I have somewhere else I need to be”

Coulson smiled and raised an eyebrow, “And where would that be?”

Clint shrugged as he exited the kitchen, “Don’t know yet, but there’s bound to be a kid somewhere that needs my help. Probably a Rogers or a Barnes, I haven’t gotten to them yet today”

Coulson laughed and called after Clint, “You’re nuts Barton!”

_I maybe nuts, but you guys keep me around –so I **must** be doing something right. _

 

~

Turns out the Barnes children were next.

Luckily, the kids came to him instead of the other way around.

And by that, Clint means Viktor fell out of the vent shaft right into Clint’s arms.

Clint sighed at the boy smiled up at him and wiggled in his arms, “Clint lemme go, I’m hiding from papa!”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “Are you actually hiding from papa, or did you get in trouble and are trying to get away”

Viktor smiled, “Yes”

Sighing, Clint set the boy down “I thought so. Go on, go hide in my room and I’ll see what you did now”

“Thank you!!”

Clint waved as Viktor ran away, and waited at the spot below the vent.

“3… 2… 1…”

Clint hummed as the vent made an ominous noise and out popped Bucky Barnes.

“Okay, where’s the punk Barton”

Clint chuckled, “Headed to my room. What did he do now?”

Barnes grumbled as he dropped to the ground, “Damn kid put green dye in Natasha’s shampoo bottle. She’s blaming me!”

Clint laughed, “Of course she is. She told me the pranking genes came from your side of the family”

Barnes glared at Clint, “Yeah they may have, but it doesn’t mean I have to be the one to chase after him every single time he pulls one over on us. Why can’t he be more like Becca? _She_ never pulls any pranks”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Because then he wouldn’t be the boy you love so much. At least he’s not kicking cats or trying to kill birds like my brother used to. You want me to talk to him about toning it down?”

Barnes looked at him for a moment before shaking his head, “No. I got it. Nat wants him back pronto for a good punishment”

Clint hummed, “I don’t see how serving the kid haggis is a punishment, but hell, what do I know?”

Barnes shook his head, “If you’ve ever seen Nat’s haggis, you would know. If you’ve ever seen _anything_ that Nat has cooked, you would know. Trust me”

Clint hummed, “I guess you’re the one that cooks then Barnes?”

“You bet your sweet ass”

Clint nodded, “Nice to know. Well, you should head on up to my room –he’ll be in the guest suite hiding under the bed. Have fun!”

Barnes just waved to Clint as he made his way to the elevator.

_Okay, 6 families down, 2 to go._

~

Clint’s second to last stop of the day (for now of course) were the Rogers.

Usually Peggy and Noah were the most behaved of the group, but every once in a while Darcy and Steve needed some help when their work got in the way.

Stepping into their living room, Clint’s eyebrows rose to his hairline as he took in the scene.

Darcy and Steve were asleep on the couch, and total chaos surrounded them.

Marker on the walls, spilled food on the carpet, sticks hand-prints on the TV.

In the center of said chaos, were Peggy and Noah, drawing on their parents faces (how neither of them woke up, Clint will never know).

“Alright you two, what in the devil is going on?”

Noah and Peggy looked up sheepishly, the markers dropping from their hands.

“We was just having some fun” Noah commented.

Clint snorted, “You were causing Chaos, that’s what you were doing. Get off of your parents and help me clean up this mess before they wake up”

Noah and Peggy (knowing not to get on Clint’s bad side) immediately scrambled off of Steve and Darcy and got to work.

An hour and a half later, everything looked clean (faces included), and Clint leaned over to wake Steve and Darcy up.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauties, before your children revolt again.”

Clint stepped back as Darcy and Steve slowly woke up.

Clint smiled, “Good morning. Hope you guys had a good sleep, I know the kids had fun during your nap. Luckily, I came just in time”

Steve looked at Clint and scrubbed his face, “Utter disaster area was it?”

Clint chuckled, “Yup. But everything is clean now. The kids are in the kitchen eating some snacks.”

Darcy yawned and stood up, “Thanks Clinton – you have been a great service to us, the King and Queen of the land”

Clint bowed, “Tis my pleasure to serve the King and Queen in keeping the Prince and Princess in line. Now, I must be on my way Your Majesty – for I feel another disturbance in the Kingdom”

Steve chuckled, “And who is in need of our Knight’s help?”

“Why I believe it to be Duke Odinson, and his band of merry misfits”

“Then go Sir Clinton, go and save the kingdom from the band of misfits”

Clint laughed, “I shall. God Speed to you!”

“And God Speed to you Clinton!”

Clint waved goodbye and exited the apartment.

_Darcy is nuts. Thank god I met her. 1 more family to go._

 

~

Clint’s last official stop of the day (Clint knew of course he would then be called out at all hours from then on for other things) was Thor Odinson and Jane Foster’s apartment.

Thor and Jane had two boys, who to say the least, were rowdy as hell. Never in a bad way, but sometimes Clint wished they would just stay _quiet_ for a few moments.

The second Clint stepped into the apartment, both Audun and Dustin were bounding over to him with whoops and hollers.

Clint just winced and lifted them up into his arms as they threw themselves at his body. “Afternoon boys, how has your days been going?”

_Wrong question asshole._

Clint’s ears were assuaged with tales of both of their days (in minute detail at a very loud level, both boys speaking over each other). Clint nodded when he got the chance, and before long he was able to set them both down and watch them scamper off to go rough-house in their bedroom.

“Clint! I am _so_ glad you’re here, I need some help”

Clint smiled and walked over to Jane, “How may I be of service?”

Jane smiled, “I want to get Thor a bow for his birthday, and I’m having trouble deciding between these three”

Jane showed Clint the three she had picked out. All three were beautiful, but Clint could tell that only one of them would be able to have the pull that Thor needed for his muscles. “Number three, definitely”

Jane looked and then nodded, “Thank you Clint.”

“No problem. Anything else you need?”

“Nope. We’ve got the boys well-in hand.”

Clint smiled, “Then I’ll take my leave”

Jane chuckled, “Have a good evening Clint”

Clint nodded, “You bet I will”

“Goodbye Clint”

“Bye Jane”

Clint waved goodbye and left.

~

Clint took the elevator back to his room and hoped that Barnes had gotten Viktor out by now, otherwise Clint would have to give up on life (and ever getting any rest in his bed).

Stepping into his apartment, Clint waited a full five seconds before getting knocked on his ass by the big lummox he calls a dog.

“Awww pizza dog, no! Down Lucky, _down!_ ”

Lucky just barked and jumped away from Clint, his tail wagging.

Clint, standing up, scratched Lucky behind the ears and then headed off to his bedroom.

Clint had gotten Lucky two months ago on one of his rare days off. Clint had been walking around Bed Stuy (his old neighborhood), and had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

_Clint was walking down the street, enjoying the pizza slice he was currently devouring, when he ran smack dab into someone._

_  
“Shit! Sorry man, sorry”_

_“Hey! Watch where going, bro.”_

_Clint blinked, “Uh… Sorry, **bro** , I was a little into my pizza I guess…”_

_Suddenly, he saw him._

_He saw a beautiful golden retriever and just **had** to pet him. _

_“dOg”_

**_Smooth Barton._ **

_“What?”_

_“Dog…Can I pet it one time?”_

**_Or you can have no grasp of the human language Barton. Four for you._ **

_“He no like to be touched bro…”_

_Clint frowned. Crouching down, Clint smiled as the day came closer, and sniffed at his pizza slice. “I don’t know man. The dog likes pizza… He seems alright to me”_

_The man growled. Looking up, Clint finally took in the guy’s appearance._

**_Tracksuit. A tracksuit? Dude, this isn’t the 80s, come on._ **

_“Step away bro, none of your business bro”_

_Clint sighed, “Dude chill. I’m not here to break up your drug ring or anything. I’m a nanny that just wanted to pet your dog”_

_The man ( **So calling him a Tracksuit Vampire)** seemed to freak out, “What you know about drugs bro? I kill you bro!”_

_Clint blinked, “Wooooaaaaaaahhhh chill, I was joking-”_

_Clint managed to sidestep the first punch, and block the second._

_He wasn’t so lucky with the uppercut to the chin._

_His head knocked back, and suddenly his training kicked in._

**_Awww man, I hate hurting people._ **

_A solid right jab knocked the guy back, and a flick kick to the stomach had him curling over himself._

_Clint stood up straight, “Now **bro** why don’t you-”_

_Something slams into Clint’s head, making his vision go black._

**_Goddamn there’s more Tracksuit Vamps._ **

_Walking forward a few steps, Clint shook his head to clear it, then spun around. 9, possibly 10 men in total – all bigger than Clint (fatter he should say), with makeshift weapons in their hands._

**_Jesus, you guys can’t afford guns? Who the fuck are you_ **

_“Alright broskis. I didn’t want to kill anyone today, but you just pushed my ‘murder’ button”_

_Clint flicked two fingers, and the fight was on._

_Clint took down the first two guys with ease, but the third one got in a shot to the gut, and Clint was unfortunate enough to hear the sound of two of his ribs cracking._

_Clenching up, Clint took three steps back and quickly regrouped._

_Raising his fists once more, Clint was about to attack when the dog jumped into the fray._

_Attacking the men with his teeth and claws, Clint watched in awe as the dog took down at least three of the guys._

_Smiling, Clint joined in to help his buddy help him, and brought down another two._

_Clint and the dog were working really well as a team, when suddenly one of the tracksuit vamps threw the dog into the street._

_“NO!”_

_Clint tried to run after him, but it was too late._

_A car came and slammed into the dog and drove away._

_Abandoning the tracksuit vamps (who were running away, the cowards), Clint slid into the street and looked down at the dog._

_“Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead”_

_Clint pressed a gentle hand to the dog’s flank, and almost cried from joy when he felt the dog take a shallow breath._

_“It’s okay buddy, Clint is gonna get you the help you need.”_

_Clint picked up the dog and jogged to the closest vet, and got the dog the help he needed._

_Clint was still in the waiting room 4 hours later when he got a call from Coulson._

_“Barton”_

_“Clint, where in the hell are you? The kids are worried sick, you were supposed to be home **three hours** ago!”_

_Clint winced, “Shit. Sorry. I… uh…. I got detained”_

_“By **what?!** ”_

_“A dog”_

_“……… a dog”_

_“He was run over. Sorry sir, I couldn’t leave him”_

_“Where are you?”_

_Clint gave Coulson the address, and frowned when the man hung up on him._

_Thirty minutes later he found out why when the whole crew crashed into the vet office._

_Pepper (god love the woman) was the first one to step forward. “There you a-oh my god! What happened to you?”_

_Clint blinked, and touched his face, wincing when it shot pain through his whole body._

**_Oh yeah. Fight._ **

_“Jesus Nanny McPhee, it looks like you were the one that got hit by a car, not the dog”_

_Clint sighed, “There was a fight involved Stark. I won though, so I guess that’s okay”_

_The whole group looked disappointed (and the kids looked a bit frightened. They were used to their parents being banged up, not Clint)._

_“Alright Clint, sit down and let me have a look at you”_

_Clint smiled at Betty “Two broken ribs, a fractured right wrist, and lacerations on my face.”_

_Betty raised an eyebrow, “Well goodie for you. But let me mother hen you dammit”_

_Clint huffed and sat down, allowing Betty to check him over “So… Any ideas on what I should do with the dog?”_

_“LET’S KEEP IT” the kids said in unison_

_Clint looked at the adults and raised an eyebrow._

_The adults said yes, even though Clint could tell they didn’t want to._

**_You kids have your parents whipped._ **

Now Clint has Lucky, a dog with one eye, a limp, a fucking terrible odor, and a love for pizza.

Not a bad deal at all.

 

*******

Clint watched in awe as Pietro downed three redbulls in a row.

“How punk, how”

Pietro grinned, “Practice”

“He has no stomach!” Wanda called out from her Yoga position in the corner.

“Now _that_ I believe… Alright punk, as promised – let’s get some training in”

Clint was always surprised at how early the twins woke up. Clint himself had been an early riser since he was young, his internal clock forcing him awake at 5:30 sharp every morning.

Wanda and Pietro usually followed by 15 minutes.

Which was great because that meant Clint could spend extra time with them, not around the younger ones or the adults. It was a chance for Clint to bond with them in a more friendly aspect (Jesus, he was only 6 years older than the brats), and it was also a chance for the three of them to work on their powers without the rest of the Avengers Mother Henning (or disapproving).

Last week Clint had worked with Wanda on her powers, and now, as promised, Pietro was getting his turn (he would have gotten it anyway, but hell, the bribery worked didn’t it?)

Clint chuckled as Pietro began to run in circles at lightning fast speed. He would almost compare the excitement in the teenager to that of a puppy chasing its tail.

“Alright punk! I shoot, you catch. Good?”

Pietro stopped and gave Clint a smirk.

_Game on._

Clint raised his bow and released an arrow, two feet from where Pietro was standing.

It was grabbed by a bolt of blue.

So were the next 100 arrows that Clint shot at different points all over the room.

“You need to work on getting up the walls Pietro! You need to get traction immediately or you’ll fall on your ass!”

“I never fall!”

Clint laughed, “Everyone falls punk!”

“Wise advice… Mr. Barton, was it?”

Clint prided himself on not jumping twelve feet in the air at the voice behind him. Whirling around, Clint had his bow and arrow at the ready. “Who are you?”

The man just chuckled and raised his hands, “No need for drastic measures Mr. Barton. I’m a friend of the Avengers”

Clint didn’t lower his bow, “A lot of people are ‘friends’ of the Avengers. That doesn’t mean jackshit to me…”

The man just chuckled again. _Arrogant jerk._ “You’re ballsy. I like ballsy. But seriously, you have no need to worry. I’m the Director of SHIELD… You might have heard of me? Tony Stark probably has a voodoo doll of me somewhere”

Clint blinked, “He may… Though I don’t believe he’s ever called you by name. Usually he calls you Long John Asshole, and I never try to ask”

The man laughed, “Sounds just like Stark”

Clint nodded, “If you say so I guess”

Wanting the conversation to end so Clint could get back to the kids (and away from the other man), Clint started to turn away.

“You’re Hawkeye right? Or, I guess Ronin would be your latest aliases”

Clint turned back around, “P-pardon me?”

His heart beating fast, Clint hoped to Havana that his hearing aids had crapped out and he had just imagine the words the man said.

The man just chuckled, “Don’t worry kid, I can keep a secret. I just wanted my curiosity appeased. You are Ronin and Hawkeye, right? SHIELD has been searching for you for years…”

Clint gulped, “How… How did you know?”

The man nodded, “I didn’t become the Director of SHIELD by being an idiot. I don’t know any 20 year olds who are as skilled as you claimed you are in your resume… Well, besides Natasnha Romanova…. Though I guess she _is_ older than 20 now.”

Clint rubbed his eyes, “Right… I guess I wasn’t subtle. Does… Does anyone else know?”

The man shook his head, “Nope. Just me kid”

Clint sighed in relief. He may have been less than subtle, but he didn’t want anyone to know about his sordid past. “Good… good”

The man smiled once again, “Good. However-” Clint sucked in a breath. “Before Coulson gets here; if you ever get tired of babysitting – give me a call. I’ll give you an exciting life” Clint let out his breath as the man extended a card and placed it in his hand.

Clint looked at the name, ‘Nick Fury’ with a phone number at the bottom.

_Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD._

Clint looked back at Fury, “I’ve already lead an exciting life. It didn’t end well.”

Fury nodded, “Not many exciting lives do… But just in case. Call me”

Clint nodded, “I won’t, but-”

“Marcus? What are you doing down here?”

Both Clint and Fury looked up at Coulson’s voice. Clint’s heart fluttered when he looked at Coulson, whether he liked to admit it or not. The past 6 months since Clint had been hired by Coulson, he had slowly and irrevocably fallen in love with the older man. It sucks, but it was pretty much unavoidable. Not that Clint would ever say anything to Coulson.

“Just meeting your new baby sitter Cheese” Fury shot back over at Coulson.

Coulson, however, snorted “Sure you are. Stop frightening the boy and come on. We _do_ have a meeting to get to”

Clint watched as Fury rolled his eye (yes, just one eye. The man wore a eyepatch over the other one), and nodded to Clint before following Coulson out of the gym.

“Who was that?”

Clint will never admit that he startled at Wanda’s voice. Never.

“Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury”

“Oh”

“Sure, but my question is – who are Hawkeye and Ronin?”

Of course Pietro would ask that question. Clint just rolled his eyes and scrubbed a hand through his hair, “No one you need to worry yourself about brat. Back to work”

“Aww, you’re no fun”

Clint chuckled, “I don’t have to be”

 

*******

Clint watched in amusement as chaos happened all around him.

Yes, he watched with glee and didn’t bother to even try and help out.

No, Clint stuck with the safe (and fucking hilarious) route, and just watched from the sidelines as disaster struck.

Clint had warned the Avengers that bringing all of the children to their gala event for the 10th Anniversary of the Battle of New York would be a terrible idea. Did they listen? Nope. Not one bit.

So now Clint was watching as the kids _destroyed_ everything they could get their hands on.

“CLINT! HELP!”

Clint just laughed as Tony Stark kept trying to call to him while his rambunctious children climbed all over the tables and got their sticky food hands on other people’s tuxes and gowns.

“Sorry Mr. Stark, you guys are on your own for this one”

It was the same case for everyone else.

Clint knew he might get fired for not helping out, but _man_ what a way to go.

Two hours later, the children were finally in bed, and the adults were all trying to drink away the memories of the night.

Clint just shook his head fondly and looked at all of them, “And next time, who are we going to listen to?”

The adults just all sighed tiredly, “You Clint”

“That’s right”


	3. The Past in the Museum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers have their own museum.
> 
> Clint's past comes to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this fic is going so slow! I wish I could say that I can speed up the process, but I would be lying.

Everyone who lived in Stark Towers had nightmares. When you lived the lives of a superhero family, nightmares were bound to happen. 

The children had nightmares about their parents dying. 

The parents had nightmares about their horrible pasts. 

The twins had nightmares about the experimentation forced upon them. 

Every night someone would wake up screaming, panting, and gasping – their heartbeats exploding as they tried to chase the horror away. 

Luckily, every one of these people had someone that came rushing in to comfort them. 

The children and the twins had Clint and their parents. 

The parents had their partners, or their kids. 

Even Lucky the dog had someone to comfort him (damn mutt usually slept in one of the kid’s rooms if he could get away with it). 

But when Clint had his night horrors, when he woke up with the very life of him being choked from his throat, he had no one. 

The first night it had happened, JARVIS had come over the speakers, trying to see if Clint wanted one of the Avengers to come in and soothe him. 

Clint had refused.

And continued to refuse every night thereafter. 

See, while everyone else in the tower got a reprieve from their nightmares most of the time, Clint suffered from them daily. 

Not that he was complaining, oh no. 

Never Clint. 

Clint knew that the nightmares were his punishment for all the shit he did in his life. 

He never complained, because during the daytime he was given such happiness. 

He was able to help so many kids each day that the night didn’t matter. 

He didn’t want anyone seeing him as anything other than the happy nanny that he was in the daytime. 

He didn’t want them seeing Clint from the past. 

That Clint wasn’t someone they would enjoy. 

So, Clint hid this with a smile, talked everyone else through their bad dreams, and kept his past just that. In the past.

Or at least, he tried to anyway. 

With a past like Clint’s, it had a habit of coming to bite you in the ass when you least expect it. 

 

*******

Phil watched in amusement as all 14 kids listened with rapt attention as Clint told them the story of Robin Hood (without the aid of a storybook). 

“Now Robin Hood, with his trusty band of merry men, stole into the Sheriff of Nottingham’s home in the dead of night. They stole all of his riches – the finest gold, tapestries, and food; then left before even the guards knew what had happened! Then, after they had delivered all of this to the poor people of Loxley and Nottingham, they made their way to Prince John’s Castle”

One of the little ones gasps (Phil wasn’t sure who) “Is Robin seeing Maid Marian?”

Clint winked, “You bet! In fact, he steals her away from Prince John, takes her home to Loxley, and marries her!”

Phil smiled as everyone cheered. 

“What happens next Clint?” Pietro asked 

Clint smiles, “They live happily ever after…. Once King Richard comes home of course”

“Of course!” All of the kids reply. 

Phil chuckled, “That was a great story Clint”

Clint smiled, “Why thank you Mr. Coulson. It  is  one of my favorites. But, speaking of which, story time is over guys – time for homework”

Phil shook his head fondly as everyone groaned and made their way out of the room to do some homework (or fun activities in some of the younger kid’s cases). 

When everyone had cleared the room, Phil looked at Clint as he cleaned up the room. 

“Was there something you wanted?” Clint said once he was finished. 

Phil smiled, “Just wanted to go over the itinerary for your field trip to the museum on Monday since I won’t be able to coordinate from behind the scenes this time.”

Clint looked at Phil for a moment with something in his eyes that Phil couldn’t identify, “Uh… Right. Well, let’s sit and discuss”

Phil nodded and sat down next to Clint on the couch, “You’re leaving at what time?”

“Eleven, just after breakfast”

Phil nodded, “You’ll hit the museum about Noon, the kids will take the photo with us, stay until four, eat a late lunch, and then head home?”

Clint smiled, “Yep. I thought any longer than that would just be a disaster”

Phil chuckled, “You would be right. Alright, I have no more questions – I trust you Clint”

Clint nodded and stood when Phil did. 

The two stared at each other for a few moments, something spinning in the air that Phil once again couldn’t identify. 

“Well… I guess I should go…” Phil said awkwardly

“Yeah. Uhm… See ya”

Phil smiled and nodded to Clint, “See you”

 

*******

On Monday morning, the day of the museum trip, Clint made sure everyone was in the kitchen so that everyone was clear on what today entailed. 

Everything was going smoothly until Clint caught something the kids were saying in German, and responded in kind. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, and definitely not in the first language. 

“That is complete bullshit. I call bullshit!” Clint jumped at the outburst and turned to look at Tony.

“Tony, could you at least  pretend  that you don’t know curse words in front of the kids?”

“Sorry Pep”

Pepper just rolled her eyes and sat down at the huge breakfast table, wiping Maria’s face of the strawberry jam covering it. 

“Anyway. I still call bulls-pucky. I call bull pucky that you can speak so many languages”

Clint laughed, “You can call it all you like Stark, that doesn’t discount how many languages I can speak”

Tony narrowed his eyes “Chiamo stronzate”  I call bullshit. 

Clint raised an eyebrow, “Italiano era la mia quarta lingua, chiamare stronzate se ti piace”  Italian was my fourth language, call bullshit if you like.

Natasha looked at him, “Сколько языков ты снова говорить?”  How many languages do you speak again?

Clint smiled, “16. I speak 16 languages”

Tony shook his head, “Bull pucky! Bull pucky!!!”

Clint laughed, “Maybe one day I’ll prove it to you Stark.”

Tony muttered and grabbed his coffee mug, “Bull pucky”

Clint just rolled his eyes, “Whatever Stark”

  
  


~

“Alright brats and brats in training, who’s ready for an awesome day at the museum?’

Clint chuckled as the kids groaned. He knew none of them really wanted to go to a museum, least of all a museum that was honoring their parents.

“Yeah, yeah. I know how much this is gonna suck for you all - but your parents will all be happy to see you guys at the opening. So smiles from everyone, yeah?”

It took a few minutes of prodding, but Clint eventually got everyone in a happier mood ( he may have had to bribe half of them, but Clint was not a proud man. And hell, all’s fair in love and war, right?)

The group made it to the museum within the hour, and spent another 20 minutes trying to fight their way over to the superheroes on display.

“Well go on guys. Go stand next to your parents and pose for the Stark Industries PR team’s approved photos”

The kids groaned but did what Clint said (even Pietro and Wanda, which is saying a lot).

Strolling away, Clint gave a nod to Coulson (trying hard to ignore his pounding heart) and took in the exhibit.

Unbeknownst to anyone, someone from Clint's past was lying in wait for the young nanny.

Someone dangerous.

Someone from his past who want to see Clint suffer more than anything in the world.

Someone who would do do untold damage the precious life Clint held dear.

This someone was watching, and soon, very soon, they would strike.

 

****** 

Phil was supposed to be an behind the scenes man. 

He was the one who would fade into the background, hide behind his calm facade, and not  be noticed until he struck

Now his name would be known by every teenaged fanatic out there. No more anonymity, no more hiding.

Fucking Stark and his goddamn PR team.

At least he got to spend the day with the kids, instead of having to leave them with Clint while he went to work. 

Clint, how well you fit in with my children.  Phil thought absently while he posed for yet  another  photo. 

This has been going on for at least an hour, when will the photos stop? How does Stark do this all the time? How does Steve? Jesus Christ, new respect grown for them, that’s for sure. My dan jaw is aching…

Phil felt a tug on his pants, “Daddy” he heard in a rushed whisper. 

Turning his head down, Phil frowned as Julianna tugged on his pants and did her ‘I have to go to the potty’ dance. “Dadddddddyyy! I have to-”

“Got to the bottom, I know. Sneak past me and go find Clint and he’ll take you to the potty, okay? He’s just one exhibit over”

Julianna nodded and ran to Clint to go find the restroom. 

Phil followed her with his eyes, but immediately had to snap them back with the damn PR photographer got snippy with him.

Wow, photos ver children, why am I  not  surprised?

15 minutes later, when neither Clint nor Julianna had returned, Phil was curious but not worried.  Long lines, groups of people, they’ll be by soon.

30 minutes past and Phil was  becoming worried, but not overly so.

45, minutes had past and Phil was about to have a panic attack under his cool facade  where in the  hell  are Clint and Juliana? Where the hell are they and what the hell is happening?

 

1 hour past and Phil was just about to move out of the photo brigade and go find his goddamn daughter when he saw Clint carrying Julianna on his shoulders over to them. In her hands was a huge stuffed Bucky bear and cotton candy.

Ahhhh, she called in the bribe early. 

Phil watched in bemusement as Clint set Julianna down and looked at Phil with the most guilty expression on his face.

Phil just winked in return. He knew his children, and knew what it would take them to get to the museum. He knew Julianna especially. when his little girl wanted something -  she got it. 

Relaxing, Clint just smiled and turned away from the photo shoot back to the exhibits.

Phil wished he could follow Clint. Fade into notoriety with the younger man, instead of being stuck up here with the rest of The Avengers.

If wants were wishes, I would still be married and living the high life with SHIELD.

“Two more photos and then we will be done!” screamed the photographer. 

You said that 12 poses ago you asshole. 

 

*******

Clint walked back to the photo shoot right as the photographer was calling it a day with everyone. 

Smiling, Clint waited for all of the kids to line up before speaking. “Okay, since you guys had to endure that for so long. Who wants ice cream after lunch?”

Everyone’s hands shot up (including most of the Avengers). Clint just laughed, “Alright kids and adults, ice cream is on me-”

“Woo!”

“ After  everyone has finished their lunch”

“Aw”

“Sorry Stark. Healthy meals come first”

“I could buy my own ice cream Barton!”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “Not until you’ve had lunch”

Pepper snorted, “Burn”   
  


~

Everyone had ice cream. 

Everyone was happy. 

Clint’s job was going perfectly - according to plan.

Smiling, Hawk licked his Blue Moon ice cream cone, oddly horrified at how Viktor just shoved the ice cream into his mouth and bit down.

No wonder his parents are the Black Widow and the Winter Soldier. That kid has teeth of steel!

“Hey Barton”

Clint looked up from his ice cream and over to Barnes, “Yeah?”

“This guy behind you has been staring at your back for the past 15 minutes without stopping. It’s giving me the willies”

“Everything gives you the willies Buck. Remember the doll fiasco?”   
  
“You shut your whore mouth Stark”

Clint just sighed and turned away from the arguing men to look at whoever the guy was behind him.

And froze in time. 

There behind him was the man he thought he would never see again. 

“Duquesne” Clint rasped out in a whisper.

“What did you say Clint?”

Turning back to the team, Clint shook his head. “Nothing. I don’t know the guy. But I tempted to go over there and ask why he’s staring at me so much….”

Phil looked uneasy, “I don’t know about that Clint. It may just be easier to forget about it”

“Nonsense Ms. Fine! Go over there and show the guy who’s the man!”

Clint just raised an eyebrow, “Why does everything you say to me sound like the devil side of my conscience Stark?”

Stark shrugged, “Probably because it’s true”

Clint just shook his head and stood up, “I’ll be right back”

The group just waved their hands, only Phil watching as he walked over to the table.

 

*******

“I don’t like this,” Phil muttered to Natasha, who only shook her head in affirmative.

“We’re all fighters Phil. If anything were to go astray, your boy will be fine”

Phil shot a look at her, “He’s not  my  boy”

Natasha snorted, “Okay Phil. Whatever you say”

Phil just looked away and grumbled.

 

*******

“Duquesne. What the hell are you doing here?” Clint hissed as he sat down at the table.

Jacques just raised an eyebrow, “Is that all you have to say to your mentor? What the hell are you doing here? No ‘hello! How have you been?’ I am shocked. My manners lessons seemed to have been forgotten”

Clint just glared, “Most things about you were forgotten about the same time you almost  killed me and left me for dead”

Jacques just chuckled, “So unforgiving. After all I did for you”

“You did  nothing  for me!” Clint spat.

“I gave you a life. A codename. You wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for me!”

“I wouldn’t have half of the scars I do if I had never met you” Clint shot back. “But enough of this bullshit. What do you want?”

Jacques gave Clint what could only be described as “Cheshire-like”. “My dear apprentice. All I want is…. An in”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “An in? With whom? I know no one”

“The Avengers you dimwit. 5 years and you still aren’t any wiser”

Clint stood up, “I’m not giving you anything. Goodbye Duquesne”

Clint turned and started to walk back to the table, as calm an expression he could muster on his face. 

He was just reaching his chair when he felt something stab him in the back, his knees immediately folding underneath. 

Shouts and screams were heard in the background of his mind. There was only one thing he could focus in on, however. 

“Should have made sure you were dead when I had the chance  mon ami.  Never turn your back on an old friend, specially the dangerous ones”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	4. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint wakes up in a hospital room surrounded by Phil and the Avengers.
> 
> Phil wakes up in the hospital room surround by Avengers and no Clint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter! This is short but I promise you the next one will be a little longer and will definitely come a lot sooner!
> 
> Some news for upcoming fics: I'm thinking about doing another mini-series that's at parks and recs/avengers crossover. Each fic with be tiny and based on every single episode of the series. Comment below if that would interest you!
> 
> Another thing: If you wish to prompt me, I will take prompts from: MCU, Fantastic Four (movies), Daredevil (netflix), Agents of SHIELD, Agent Carter, Hawkeye Comics, ANNNDDD Parks and Recs! So drop me an ask if you're interested in a fic from any of these areas!

Clint had flashes on consciousness. Light breaking through his eyelids, voice yelling at him to hold on... Don't give up, please not yet.

It was all so trippy, but not in a good way.

Clint couldn't tell if he was headed for heaven, hell, or if he would be saved that experience. He hoped he didn't die, he hadn't fulfilled everything he wanted to do just yet.

Hell, he was barely 20 years old. Despite the life he led, he wasn't ready to give up just yet. Please not yet.

If he survived this, he would ask for a 2 week vacation, hunt Duquesne down, and murder the bastard always like he wanted to. That was a promise.

 

~

Clint awoke in a hospital room.

Sitting up quickly, Clint looked around the room, and was shocked to find the entire team asleep in odd areas of the space.

 

_Who in the hell is watching the kids?_

 

Pushing the covers aside, Clint gently eased himself out of bed and grabbed the IV pole.

 

_Time for some exploring. I have to pee like a goddamn racehorse_

 

Sneaking past the sleeping teammates, Clint made it out the door and into the hallway.

He was definitely in a hospital, but it was unlike any he had ever seen before. It looked like a place only the richest of the rich would be admitted to.

 

_Where the hell am I?_

 

Walking a little farther, Clint reached a receptionist desk, but lucky for him, they were out.

_Awesome. More exploring time for me...._

 

Weighing his options, Clint decided the vents would be his best option.... Except for the IV pole. Unhooking the thing from the pole, Clint held the IV bag in his hand as he climbed into the vents (despite the pull he felt from the stitches they put in him) and began his exploring.

Crawling through the vents, Clint was careful not to exacerbate his wounds.  It was fascinating to go through the vents; this building was more than just a hospital.

It wasn't until he looked through the slats and saw Nick Fury's bald head until he realized that this was S.H.I.E.L.D.

_Well shit_

 

*******

Phil had never been as scared as he was when he saw Clint fall to the ground in the ice cream shop, blood pooling on his back as the man behind him held a knife.

The next minutes, hours, days? They were a blur.

Everyone had banded together to get Clint to the SHIELD hospital, trying their hardest to keep him alive. Phil had feared that the knife had hit Clint’s spinal cord and killed him. But as Phil had pressed his palms to Clint’s wound, trying to keep pressure on it, he was relieved to find that it had just missed the mark.

Then the only fear had been to stop Clint from bleeding out before they reached the hospital.

They had, and 48 hours later, Phil was waking up from his nap in the hardest chair he had ever fallen asleep in.

Sitting up, Phil stretched out his back and smiled as he looked at the rest of the Avengers in different stages of sleep (his favorite had to be Tony asleep like a cat on top of Thor’s lap).

He scanned the room and eventually landed on the hospital bed where Clint was sleeping.

Correction: Where Clint _was_ sleeping.

Clint would be sleeping on the bed if he were actually sleeping…. and actually on the bed.

“God Dammit. Everyone wake up!”

Phil scrambled to his feet as the rest of the Avengers woke up in alarm.

“What’s happening Agent Agent? What’s the 411?”

Phil pointed to the bed, “Clint’s gone. Time for a search party”

Tony groaned, “I am too old for this kid’s shenanigans. Remind me to fire him”

“Tony, Jesus Christ - Clint is running around with a stab wound” Steve said with an exasperated eye roll.

Phil nodded, “Steve is right. Fire him after he’s all healed”

“Phil!”

“Agent Agent I like the way you think”

Bruce and Thor just watched the byplay with amused expressions before leaving the hospital room in their search for Barton.

Phil, Natasha, and Bucky were the last to leave, “I swear to god Barton - if you’ve hurt yourself even word, I _will_ kill you”

Natasha snorted, “No you won’t.”

Bucky smirked, “10 bucks says Phil would kiss him first”

“Make it 20 that Phil kisses him then smacks him upside the head”

“You’re on”

Phil sighed, “I can’t take you guys anywhere”

 

~

The Avengers spent a hell of a lot of time searching HQ without any luck.

“We’re gonna head back to the tower Phil,” Steve said. “Nat and Buck are gonna head back to his hospital room and wait to see if he pops back up there”

Phil nodded, “I only have one place left to check before I send out a distress signal”

Steve gave an affirmative and the team parted their ways.

Walking along the corridors, Phil made his way to Fury’s office and hoped to god that Clint was in there.

Knocking on Fury’s door twice, Phil stepped inside, “Have you seen Barton?”

Fury looked up at him, “Have I seen Barton? No. But he’s certainly seen me”

Phil was confused a moment before he tilted his head upwards and spotted Clint in the vents above Fury’s head.

“For fuck’s sake Barton, how in the hell did you even get up there?!”

 

*******

Clint flinched when he saw Phil looking directly at him, and winced at the harsh words. Opening the vent, Clint slowly eased himself down until his feet touched the ground.

“Uh… Hi?” Clint said in lieu of an answer.

Phil huffed, “Don’t ‘hi’ me, Clint. What in the hell possessed you to get into the vents? What in the hell possessed you to leave your hospital room? For Christ’s sake you’re injured!”

Clint gave Phil a sheepish look and scratched at the back of his head, “I wanted to go exploring?”

Phil just gave Clint a bland look, making the younger man feel even worse. “Of course you did. Well, come on then, time for you to get back into your bed. Once you’re recovered Tony is firing you”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “Again?”

“Yes again! Now move”

Clint sighed, “You’re no fun”

Phil just pressed a hand to Clint’s shoulder and propelled him towards the door.

Clint was just out of the room when Fury called out, “If Stark seriously fires you kid - call me! I need someone with your skills on our side”

Clint just turned his head and smiled before walking away, Phil following closely behind him.

 

*******

“Glad to see you back safe kid, gave us all a fright” Bucky said with a grin.

Clint just shrugged, “Wanted to go exploring. Thought I would be back before ya’ll woke up”

Natasha shook her head, “Idiot…. So, what did Phil do when he found you?”

Clint shrugged, “Passive aggressively yelled.”

Both Nat and Bucky looked disappointed (much to Clint’s confusion) “No kissing?” Bucky asked.

“What?”

“And that’s enough from you two. Go back to the tower and tell everyone I found Clint”

Natasha and Bucky just smirked and left without another word.

Turning his head, Clint looked at Phil. “Kissing?”

Phil just shook his head and manhandled Clint back into the hospital bed, “Don’t worry about it. Now that we’re alone however….”

Clint’s heart-rate began to pick up, _kissing. Kisssiinggggg. Is Phil gonna kiss me? Oh god I hope so that would make my entire life._

“Would you mind telling me what in the hell has been happening for the last 3 days?”

_Well so much for kissing._

Clint cleared his throat, “A lot of crap apparently”

Phil sighed, “Be straight with me Clint. You’ve had us all worried sick”

Clint wrinkled his nose, “Don’t use guilt on me, I’m immune”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “The children haven’t stopped crying”

“Fuck you got me”

Phil gave Clint a small smile, “Yes I did. Now, spill it”

Clint sighed, “Okay. But it isn’t going to be pretty….”

“Nothing in my life is Clint. Go”

Clint took a deep breath, “You ever heard of Hawkeye or Ronin?”

Phil nodded, “Two of the most notorious assassins known to man, after the Black Widow and Winter Soldier of course”

Clint looked down at the bed sheet spread across his chest, “Hawkeye and Ronin aren’t two separate people”

Phil frowned, “How would you know that? The two men use completely different weapons, go after different marks, wear different costumes, hell they aren’t even the same size”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Well a young boy does tend to grow a few inches as they get older”

Phil froze, “Excuse me?”

Clint looked at Phil, “The reason I know that Ronin and Hawkeye are the same person is because _I’m_ Ronin and Hawkeye”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask)))


	5. Telling the Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil tells the team about Clint's past, and an interrogation happens. 
> 
> Plus some angst and schmoop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue when the next chapter will be out. But ya'll will have a hella amount of prompt fics coming through for the next week. So.... enjoy those. 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: Trigger warning: Talk about Child Prostitution and thoughts of suicide, if you don't want to read that part, just skip over Clint's talk with the Avengers and you should be fine, I promise.

“I just can’t believe you lied to me!” Phil snapped at Fury.  “you knew! You knew the entire time Clint was working for me, and you never said a goddamn word.”

Fury sighed, “One: I didn’t know who he was the entire time, I figured it out about the same time he saved that dog of his”

“And you never said a goddamn word” Phil raged in response.

“And have the kid run? No thank you, Cheese. Not when I could have one of the greatest sniper and assassins in the world under my employ. No way”

Phil huffed, “I just can’t believe I hired an international convict to watch over my kids and the rest of the children. I don’t know how I could have been so  stupid”

Fury rolled his eyes and stood up, “Stop being so hard on yourself Cheese. The kid never did anything to the demons you all spawned. In fact, he took damn good care of them. I don’t know why learning of his past would change that”

“It changed things because If I had know - I would have arrested him, not hired him!” Phil almost shouted.

“Well… I guess I’ll come back another time then…”

Phil whirled around and there was Clint at Fury’s door. He was dressed in a ratty purple sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. His eyes looked suspiciously glassy (which Phil immediately stopped looking at before his heart broke).

“Clint. What the hell are you doing out of bed? You’re gonna set yourself back days”

Clint shrugged, “Nah. I’m good. I’m a fast healer for the most part. Majority of the the time my wounds don’t stay for very long…. I can head back to the tower now actually… Or the closest YMCA… Whatever works for you”

Fury looked at Phil, a single eyebrow raised.

Sorely beaten. Phil shook his head. “No. No, let’s head back to the tower. The kids are dying to see you”

Clint nodded and walked away from the door. Phil was about to follow Clint when Fury stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.  “If you guys fire him - send him my way. I have a few missions that would be perfect for his skill set”

Phil shrugged the hand off. “In your dreams Marcus”

 

*******

“Clint!!!”

The second Clint walked through the elevator doors into the common floor of the Avengers tower, he was attacked by 14 excited children. All of them were trying to tell Clint their stories at once, and unsurprisingly - Clint was handling it with aplomb. 

Phil walked away from the tableau and plopped down next to the rest of the Avengers on the couch.

“What in the hell is he doing here? he should be in his hospital bed!” Steve raged quietly.

Phil just shook his head, “Medical cleared him. I don’t know how the hell he managed it, but he did”

Natasha frowned, “You look upset. What’s wrong?”

Phil looked at the team “I’ll tell you when the kids go to bed…”

Natasha looked at Phil for a moment before nodding and turning back to the television program they were watching.

 

~

Clint was putting the last of the little ones to bed, and the twins were in their rooms doing homework. The adults, however, were having a meeting in the common floor kitchen.

“Alright Agent Agent. Spill the beans” Tony said from across the table.

Phil sighed, “How many of you know about the covert assassin Ronin, or the legendary sniper Hawkeye?”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Two men with statuses almost as high as my own”

Bucky nodded, while Steve and Thor looked positively confused.

“I’ve never heard of either of those men” Steve said.

Bucky just shook his head, “Both Ronin and Hawkeye have more confirmed kills separately than Tash and I have combined”

Steve’s eyes widened “Sounds like dangerous men. Why are bringing them up Phil?”

“Well it turns out that today I learned they are both the same man”

Natasha sat forward “No way. They’re skillsets are too diverse to be the same person. They don’t even correspond with each other at all”

Phil hummed. “I thought sotoo. Until I also learned that Ronin and Hawkeye have  another  alias by the name of Clint Barton - Avengers Nanny”

Chaos erupted in the kitchen.

“I knew it! I  knew  there was just something about him!” Tony yelled.

“I’m not sure I want him around the kids,” Betty said quietly. “Not because of the criminal stuff he’s done. But what if another one of his enemies comes back? The children were traumatized enough”

Phil nodded, “Very valid point Betty”

“I don’t see what the big deal is. He literally has the same skills as Nat and Bucky - just in a younger body” Darcy stated.

Phil sighed, “Also a valid point”

Natasha shook her head. “What we did was the product of puir programming. What Clint did, that was obviously all him”

Darcy blinked for a moment before nodding, “Touche. I rescind my point”

Thor stood up, “The children are very attached to him-”

Jane nodded. “I don’t want the kids upset if we fire him…”

“But wouldn’t him being killed in front of the children be worse?” Bruce pointed out.

Jane frowned as Thor plopped back down into his seat, “Valid point”

Pepper stood up, “Hold on everyone. Before we make any decisions - we need to talk to Clint, give him a fair trial. Let him him explain his actions”

“Pep, my love! Wonderful idea! Let’s do that!”

Phil nodded, “That  was a sound idea”

“Well then. Call him down Agent Agent. Let the trial begin…”

 

*******

“Master Clint - you are needed downstairs in the common floor living room”

Clint looked up from his packing (he knew what was gonna happen next) and stared at the ceiling “Are they gonna fire me, J?”

“I’m uncertain at this time. It appears they are going to give you a trial - to explain your past”

Clint sighed, “I hate talking about my past… but I guess they’re not gonna take no for an answer”

“Correct sir”

Clint groaned and stood up. “Wish me luck J”

“Good luck Master Clint”

Clint smiled and headed downstairs. 

When the elevator doors opened, there were no adoring screams this time. 

Just silence.

“Take a seat Clint” Phil said softly.

Clint walked over and sat down in an old, hard, plastic fold chair. As far as interrogations went, this was nothing to what Clint was used to so far.

“Alright. Clint, I’m sure you know why we called you down here” Phil spoke again. 

Clint nodded, “I do”

“Then we might as well begin…”

Clint just looked at the whole group with dead eyes and nodded his head.

“We want to know about your reasons for doing what you did..”

Clint shrugged, “It was what I was taught to do. It made me easy money”

Steve frowned, “Killing was easy money?”

Clint hummed, “Easier to kill one bad dude for 100 grand, then take a dick up the ass for a month to make not even half of that”

Phil frowned, “Killing and prostitution were your only options? I highly doubt that...:”

Clint looked up at Phil, a tiny spark of anger in his eyes “You wanna know the last grade I successfully finished? 2nd. 2nd grade. No one is gonna hire a nobody with a 2nd grade education and a resume that listed a circus that wasn’t even in business anymore. But killing people and sucking dick? People don’t care about where you come from with those jobs. Just that you do them”

Phil looked uneasy, “For a person with only a 2nd grade education, you’re quite intelligent…”

Clint shrugged, “The circus was a great teacher. Everything I know I learned at the circus”

“Even your… prostitution skills?” Tony asked quietly

Clint nodded, “That got me a lot of tips. Old men love little boys…”

Bruce stood up quickly, “I need to leave”

Clint watched unblinking as the doctor hurried away, faintly green, Betty soon following.

2 down. Several to go

Phil sighed and looked down at Clint. “You’ve killed hundreds of people”

Clint shrugged once more, “And they had killed thousands. If you want me to be sorry, It’s never gonna happen”

Steve stood up, “Not even a little bit? Noty one ounce of guilt for killing so many people?”

Clint shook his head “The world is much better without them”

Steve sighed and shook his head, grabbed Darcy, and left the room.

4 down

Thor stood up next, “You feel no remorse for the life you’ve lead? I feel this is not true”

Clint sighed, “Look. It’s either not give a damn about my past or put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. DOes that answer your question?”

Thor looked sad as he grabbed Jane’s hand. “I fear that it does”

With those words, the too were gone.

6 down. 5 left.

Tony shook his head, “This is nuts man. You’re like… just a kid”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you finish college at 15?”

Tony raised a finger, “Touche”

Pepper sighed and pulled Tony up. “It’s your call Phil. We’re gonna head to bed”

8 down.

Clint looked at the ones left: Natasha, Bucky, and Phil.

Bucky turned to Clint, “You have more confirmed kills than Nata and I combined and doubled. If you weren’t the one watching our kids, I would say that’s pretty damn impressive”

Natasha rolled her eyes and grabbed Bucky’s hand. and left.

1 left.

Clint and Phil looked at each other.

“OI should fire you,” Phil said after several moments in silence.

Clint nodded.

“I should arrest you,” Phil spoke again.

Clint just nodded.

“You’ve done a lot of bad things Clint”

Clint nodded.

Phil sighed, “19 is a hell of an age to go to prison”

Clint nodded.

“Is that all you can do? nod?” Phil said with a little bite to his  tone.

Clint shook his head.

“God Dammit Clint, give me something here.”

Clint shrugged his shoulders.

Phil groaned, “Got to bed Clint”

Clint stood up and headed for the elevator.

 

*******

Phil and the rest of the team arrived at the kitchen the next morning, and were surprised to find 14 hungry children - but no Clint.

Phil frowned, “Where’s Clint? He’s supposed to be giving you guys breakfast…”

The younger kids all shrugged, so the adults looked to Wanda and Pietro.

“Just because we’re older doesn’t mean we know where Clint is,” Pietro said with a huff.

Wanda nodded, “We thought he would be making French Toast,. He always makes French Toast on Tuesdays”

Phil sighed, “Jarvis. Do you know where Clint is?”

“I am not currently at liberty to say…”

Tony frowned and looked up at the ceiling, “:What the hell are you talking about J? Just tell us where Clint is…”

“I have made a promise sir, and I intend on keeping it”

Tony frowned further and grumbled under his breath. “Stupid talking AI. Doesn’t ever listen to me, I made him…”

Natasha sighed, “Can you at least tell us if he’s okay?”

“I am uncertain of Master Clint’s well-being…”

Bucky stood up, “Well that settles it. I’m charging into his room - anyone else interested?”

Several hands raised. 

Pepper sighed, “While you guys go crash Clint’s room. I’m gonna go call out for French Toast for the kids”

“Yay!!”

Phil smiled, “Thanks Pep”

Pepper waved a hand, “I just wish I knew how to make it myself…”

Tony chuckled and kissed her cheek, and away the Avengers went to see what the hell was up with Clint. 

 

~

The Avengers traveled up to Clint’s floor and got off of the elevator. 

Phil frowned as everything was pitch black in the room. 

usually Clint's room was full of light and brightness. He said that that was the best way to go with  younger kids, a more happy flow to a room.

But now, now it just looked dreary.

“Clint?” Phil spoke into the room. 

There was no response from the younger man. 

“Jarv? Can you put on some lights please?” Tony asked into the darkness. 

Jarvis seemed to sigh before three lamps turned on, “There you go”

“Thank you Jarvis” Phil spoke softly as he looked around the room. 

No Clint. 

Frowning, Phil walked through Clint’s living room and into the kitchen. Nothing there either. 

“He’s not in the bathroom” Bucky called out.

“Or the study” Steve replied. 

“Not in the gym” Bruce spoke next. 

Phil hummed, “Not in the kitchen. The only place he could be is the bedroom”

“Oh I’m not going in his lair” Tony spoke, “That’s all on you Agent Agent”

Phil sighed, “Thanks Stark”

“No problem man”

Rolling his eyes, Phil knocked once on Clint’s bedroom before stepping inside. 

Once again the room was shadowed in black.

“Clint?” Phil said into the silence.

There wasn’t an answer, but there was definitely a ruffle of something in the corner of the room by the window seat.

Nodding to himself, Phil walked across the room and over to the blob. 

Squatting down, Phil placed his hand on the blob, “Clint?”

The blob didn’t speak but it did tremor, just slightly. 

“Jarvis, a light please?”

The lamp next to the bed turned on. “Thank you”

“You’re welcome Agent Coulson”

Phil took in the blob (Clint wrapped in a blanket, and decided the best course of action. 

Slowly removing the blanket, Phil turned Clint towards him. “Clint? Are you alright?”

Clint stared past him, not even acknowledging that Phil was in the room, let alone asking him a question. 

“Shit.” Phil murmured quietly. “Hey guys!” He called out. 

Bucky and Steve were the first to step into the room, immediately followed by the rest of the gang. 

“.... Is Clint okay?” Steve asked.

Phil shook his head, “No. I think he’s gone full blow disassociated with reality. Can one of you pick him up for me? He’s a little too heavy for my back”

Bucky nodded and came forward to swing the younger man into his arms. 

Clint whimpered at the movement and curled into a ball in Bucky’s arms. 

Not used to seeing Clint in such a state, everyone looked at each other with pain in their expressions. 

“Where should we get him to?” Bucky asked as they walked out of Clint’s room. 

“Shield Psych” Phil answered immediately. “They should be able to help”

Bucky nodded and off they went. 

 

*******

Phil had a hard time that the Avengers were waiting in the medical wing once again for Clint.

“This is all my fault,” Phil murmured. Half to himself, and half to the cosmos.

“No it isn’t. You were well within your right to question him about his past.” Natasha said harshly,. “He probably didn’t even know this was gonna happen, so put  a sock in it”

Phil looked at her and sighed, ”Way to cheer me up”

“You’re welcome. Now shut up, the doctor is coming now.”

Phil snapped his head over and stood up quickly. 

“Dr., How is Clint?”

Dr. Sanders shook her head, “Not good Coulson. He’s in severe shock and is suppressing a lot of emotions right now by going into a dissociative state. I was able to coerce him to talk to me a little, but not much. I think he should be able to ease himself out of it in a couple of days, but it will be hard”

Phl nodded, “Is there anything we can do?”

Dr. Sanders sighed, “At this point I’m not exactly sure. In my opinion, just being there for him, and giving him a lot of comfort would be the best prescription. But different people handle thing differently, so who knows what would be exactly what Clint needs?”

Phil nodded solemnly, “I understand”

Dr. Sanders nodded and pressed a hand to Phil’s shoulder, “Take him home. Get him to eat, drink fluids, and rest. Spend time with him in a non-threatening way. That’s the best thing that I can give you”

Phil nodded again, “I’ll take your advice”

Dr. Sanders smiled, “Good.l Call me if anything big happens, okay?”

“We will”

Dr. Sanders nodded once again and walked away.

Phil’s shoulders drooped as soon as she was gone and he turned around to walk to the Avengers.

“Well? Is he gonna be okay?” Tony asked.

Phil hummed, “Possibly. The Dr. thinks he can pull himself out of this in a couple of days, but it isn’t gonna be easy”

Steve nodded, “Is there anything we can do to help?”

Phikl nodded, “We need to make sure he eats, drinks, sleeps, and is cared of. Dr. Sanders seems to think that some affection and comfort will go along way with helping Clint”

Thor stood up, “Cuddle pile while watching movies it is then”

Phil blinked, but couldn’t find any fault in Thor’s logic. Clint loved when everyone had a cuddle pile to watch movies.

Smiling softly, Phil nodded. “Good idea. Now I need to go collect Clint and we can bring him home”

 

*******

Clint was barely aware of being carried once again as being plopped down onto something warm and fuzzy.

He felt a little more aware of arms wrapping around him and pulling him against a firm chest, sound playing in the background of his mind. 

It was a nice feeling in the corner of his awareness, and Clint tried hard to reach it, but just missed his mark.

Darkness overtook him again as memories washed through him.

 

~

“Is he asleep?” Natash whispered tpo Phil, everyone asleep asleep around them.

Phil nodded and curled the archef closer to his chest, Robby and Julianna asleep at their feet. 

“About an hour ago his body finally relaxed and his eyes closed”

Natasha nodded and looked at Phil, “You gonna be okay with him sleeping ontop of you the whole night?”

Phil winced, “Not really. But if it makes him feel a little more comfortable, I’m okay with the back and neck pain in the morning.

Natasha smirked, “You know Phil. Technically Clint is being paid by SI…”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “Your point?”

“You’re not his boss. You can kiss him to your heart’s content. Hell, maybe that will snap him out of it. True love’s kiss, you know?”

Phil sighed, “Why do all of you think Clint and I have some sort of boyish crush on one another?”

“Because you do”

“... Go back to sleep Natasha”

Natasha chuckled under her breath and crawled back over to Bucky to cuddle against him.

Huffing out a breath, Phil looked down at Clint’s sleeping face and shook his head quickly. 

You’re not attracted to him Phillip. Don’t take anything Natasha says to heart. She’s just messing with you and Clint.

With those final thoughts, Phil rested his head back against the couch cushion and fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	6. Clint Goes to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team figures out how to get Clint out of his funk. 
> 
> Fury does too. 
> 
> Too bad when he gets back it all turns to shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked: I love love love Mary Barton!! I'm kinda worried/hoping (I'm terrible) they ask him to go on leave for a little while so they can think and he starts to go on missions for Fury ANGST OKAY IDK WHATAM I
> 
> ~~Which gave me inspiration for this chapter and a way to get to where I needed with the rest of the story

"How's your boy doing?" Fury asked as he lifted the tumbler full of scotch to his lips.

Phil just sighed and shook his head. "Better, but not. Whenever he's around the kids, he seems to be doing okay... But around the adults, he's stiff - uncommunicative. I've had many meetings with SHIELD psych, and they've all told me not to push... But it's.. I just..."

"You're in love with him, and you hate to see him suffer" Fury interrupted when Phil couldn't finish his thoughts.

Phil groaned, "Not you too! Why does everyone think I'm in love with Clint? He's my employee for Christ's sake!"

Fury just snorted, "Everyone thinks you're in love with Clint because you _are_ in love with Clint Cheese. Just like he's in love with you. You should just put the kid out of his misery and get with him"

Phil huffed, "Not gonna happen. I have no more feelings for Clint than I have for any of the junior agents"

Fury rolled his eye, "Whatever Cheese... Whatever"

 

*******

Clint watched the twins move around the room, working both for and against the other. The two were getting to be more and more solid as a team and as individuals (both in and out of the range), and Clint could tell the training was doing them both some good.

"Alright you two! That's enough training for the day, let's wrap it up!" Clint called out to them.

No sooner had those words been spoken when Wanda dropped to the floor and Pietro slid to a stop next to her.

"Clint, this is doing nothing for us!" Wanda said with a whine.

Clint just smiled indulgently, "Guys. You need to practice-"

"With an opposing force" Pietro cut in. "Just training on our own powers all the time does nothing. We need something to work against or we'll get nowhere. How are we supposed to protect ourselves if we never learn how?"

Clint sighed, knowing that the teenager was correct. _God I feel so old._

"I know this sucks, but the team-"

"The team never stopped you before!" Wanda cut him off this time. "Before you got hurt you would train with us every Saturday, why did you stop?"

Clint's shoulders drooped, knowing he could never fool these teenagers at any point. "Look guys, we all know that I'm not the same person I was several weeks ago. I'm still feeling extremely vulnerable, and until I can get my protective barrier back up, I don't want to train with either of you. If you can just wait until then, I promise we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Deal?"

Clint looked at the twins and waited for them to come to a decision.

He didn't have to wait long. Within moments the teen twins were nodded, "Deal" They said in unison.

Clint just nodded in return.

 

*******

Phil looked at the team as they met for their weekly Avengers brain storm session.

"And that concludes this meeting, anything anyone wants to discuss before I dismiss you?" Phil asks to the group.

Tony raised a finger, "Yo."

Phil just sighed, "Go ahead Stark"

Tony just hummed, "What the hell are we going to do about Clint? He can't keep going the way he is..... It's just.... Sad"

Phil nodded, knowing that Tony was correct. "I've talked to his therapist and they've told me to just give him space. But it's been trying with the kids"

"And because you're in love with him" Natasha called out with a smirk.

Phil growled, "I'm not in love with Clint!"

"No need to get grouchy Agent Agent, we all know the truth"

Phil clenched his hands into fists, but refrained from killing Stark with his bare hands. 

" _Anyway,"_ Steve butted in, trying to keep the peace. "What are we gonna do about Clint? I can't stand watching him so vulnerable.... It makes me feel vulnerable too"

Thor nodded, "His pain is clear in his eyes"

Phil, his own heart breaking, just sighed. "I have no clue on how to help him."

Bruce hummed thoughtfully for a moment. "He needs space, right?"

Phil looked at Bruce and narrowed his eyes, "Yes. What are you thinking of Banner?"  
Bruce smiled, "Forced vacation not in Stark tower"

Phil blinked, and before he could find an objection as to why that wasn't possible, _why isn't it possible Phil? It's not like you're in **love** with him,_ Tony was standing up. "Perfect! Forced vaca, I love it!"

Phil sighed and knew he couldn't object now, "All in favor?"

Everyone's hand rose.

"All who reject?"

No one's hand rose.

"Forced vacation it is"

 

*******

Clint had been known to cook and bake for hours when he was incredibly stressed. The team could tell when the kids had pushed just a bit too far, or Clint hadn't liked what he had seen the team doing on the news that day when they came home and smelled the cooking.

The more food, the more stress Clint had. 

Nobody would say anything though, because _goddamn_ did Clint's food taste good.

Tony Stark had hired the best chefs in the world to cook for him, got take out from the best restaurants in the world, but Clint Barton's cooking beat it all to death.

It was the Tuesday, a week before Clint's 20th birthday (and precisely 5 hours after the Avengers meeting where they decided to give Clint a forced vacation) when the team got the notice from JARVIS that Clint had finished his stress cooking and they should all come down for dinner.

Knowing that they were in for a treat, both kids and adults quickly made their way to the kitchens, sitting quietly at the table while Clint set everything up.

Clint laid down the last of the food and gestured for everyone to remove the lids on the plates and dig in.

Under the plates was a huge stuffed chicken, a vegetable casserole, cream corn bread, congeal and Cesar salad, garlic knots, and macaroni and cheese.

Mouths salivating, everyone was quick to dig in and before long the food was completely gone.

Not expecting anything more, they were all pleasantly surprised when Clint came out with a huge red velvet cake for dessert.

That too, was gone quickly.

Almost comatose from the food, the adults sent the kids up to bed while they moved their plates over to the kitchen sink for clean up.

Clint was about to leave the room to help the kids when he was stopped by Phil's hand on his arm.

Frowning, Clint tensed and turned to look at him. "Phil?"

Phil smiled at him, and Clint felt himself relax slightly.

"We all want to talk to you about something Clint, you can help the kids in a bit"

Clint blinked and looked at the team, but they all had smiles on their faces. Knowing this discussion wasn't going to be like the last one, Clint sat back down at the table.

"What's going on?" He asked them.

"We're forcing you to take a vacation!" Tony said with a grin.

Clint blinked, "What?"

Steve nodded, "We think a vacation is just what you need. So we're forcing you to take one. We're giving you all the money you need, so you can go wherever you want."

Clint just blinked again, "What?"

Bucky stood up and clasped Clint on the shoulder, "You get two months to do whatever you want kid. On Stark's dime too. And no, you can't stay at the tower"

Clint blinked one more time before nodding slowly. "Right... Uh... Okay"

Phil smiled sweetly at Clint, making his heart race. "I promise this isn't something to get you to quit. We just want you to get some space and get better"

"Oh, okay.... When do you want me to start my forced vacation" Clint asked slowly.

"Friday" Tony said with a grin.

Clint nodded, agreeing, all the while thinking that they forgot that his birthday was next week.

 

~

Clint was slowly packing his bags for two months worth of vacation, a frown on his face as he did so.

Clint really didn't want to take the vacation, knowing that he had already had enough time away from the kids during his hospital visit, but knew he couldn't argue with the bosses.

_You could've been fired Barton, be lucky they're giving you a break - and an all expenses paid one at that!_

Throwing the last of his clothes into his bag, Clint marveled at how he could fit two months worth of shit into a single duffle. 

"I still got it," He muttered to himself as he flung the bag over his shoulder and made his way out of his room.

Heading to the elevator, Clint was already preparing his goodbyes for the kids, bracing himself for their reactions.

As the doors slid open, Clint felt a buzzing against his thigh.

Frowning, Clint pulled out his phone and saw it was a text from an unknown number.

Weary, Clint opened the text as he made his way to the kitchen.

 

**{Text} Barton, it's Fury. Meet me at SHIELD in an hour**

 

Blinking, Clint didn't know how to respond to the summons.

"But _mama_! I don't _w_ _ant_ Clint to go!" A little voice wailed from the kitchen.

Pushing the text to the back of his mind, Clint shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked into the kitchen. "Was that a _whine_ I heard? I didn't know my kids were whiners!"

Accosted by 14 distraught children, Clint took the time to soothe all of their fears about his sudden departure.

"Two months? You promise?" Pietro asked with a soft voice.

Clint smiled, "Two months. I promise"

Pietro looked at his sister and raised an eyebrow.

Wanda smiled, "See you in two months Clint"

Pietro sighed in relief and hugged Clint quickly before stepping back.

Once the children were all dealt with, Clint said his goodbyes to the rest of the team, a catch in his throat when Phil pressed him into a hug.

After an emotional few minutes, Clint was able to control his emotions once more.

Grabbing the envelope of cash from Tony with a fond shake of his head, Clint was on his way.

 

~

Clint stopped to eat lunch and was waiting in front of Fury's office an hour after his text had been sent.

Clint was raising his hand to knock when a voice rung out, "Enter!"

Opening the door quickly, Clint slid inside the office and shut the door behind him. 

"You texted?" He said to the older man.

Fury nodded, "Take a seat kid"

Clint, not wanting to test the obviously dangerous director of SHIELD, plopped down into a seat. "What is it you wanted to talk about?" He asked hesitantly.

Fury just looked at Clint, "I heard through the grapevine that Stark and the rest of the Avengers have forced you to take a two month vacation, am I correct?

Clint, still a little bitter about said ordeal, just nodded.

"And you don't want to go on vacation, am I also correct?"

Clint nodded once again.

Fury hummed, almost happily if Clint had to guess the man's emotions. "How about if I help you out with that?"

Clint frowned, "How would you help me out?"

Fury smiled suddenly, alarming the archer. "Come with me Barton, I've got a whole new world I want to show you"

Clint could do nothing but follow.

 

*******

Phil had completely forgotten how hard it was to raise 14 children in one tower without outside help.

It made him realize that they had all been taking Clint for granted.

Tired, Phil made his way to the Avengers briefing two weeks after Clint left, and hoped that he wouldn't fall asleep mid-meeting.

Noticing everyone one in a similar state to his own, Phil came to the conclusion that they definitely needed to get a temp nanny while Clint was gone, or nothing would be able to get done.

 

~

This time, instead of getting Phil to do it, everyone sat in on the interview process.

For some it was intimidating for some many people to be interviewing them.

For others, it seemed to make them more relaxed.

The interviews were long and tiring, and all for naught.

For every interviewee, someone found a fault in that person that made them undesirable.

After four days of rigorous interviews, the team had gotten nowhere. 

 

Nobody could match up to Clint, and it sucked.

Until the last interviewee.

"You're hired" Phil said with a bright smile. 

Their new temp nanny, Gabriella Faith, smiled back at Phil with a twinkle in her eye.

If any of the mentally exhausted team had been in their right mind, they would have seen some warning signs.

But they didn't, and within hours, Gabriella was in Clint's suite.

 

*******

The past two months that Clint had spent on his 'vacation,' had been the most invigorating of his life.

On that fateful when Fury had texted Clint to come to his office, Clint had said goodbye to his family, and hello to a new life.

For two months Clint had been deep undercover all over Europe bringing down a child-trafficking ring.

It had been the perfect thing to revitalize Clint, and though he would never be fully healed, he felt he was back to a base-line normal.

Walking through the SHIELD hallways after his debriefing with Maria Hill (his handler for his two month mission), Clint surprisingly (and unsurprisingly) couldn't wait to get back to the tower and to the kids.

Jumping onto his motorcycle, Clint sped through the busy New York streets to Avengers tower.

Excitement built in his stomach the entire time as he drove to the tower, and the feeling only increased as he rode the elevator to the common floor.

Stepping out of the elevator, Clint was prepared to be greeted by happiness and a butt-load of children.

That was not what he got however.

In fact, he got no reception whatsoever.

Frowning, Clint walked further into the room and heard some commotion coming from the kitchen.

Smiling in relief at the team's silly antics, Clint walked to the kitchen, fully prepared for some sort of surprise party.

He once again didn't receive the expected.

Instead of a party or cheer, Clint stepped into the kitchen and saw everyone sitting around the kitchen table, eating in ecstasy.

"God Gabriella, this is _so_ good!" Bucky crowed as he shoved more food into his mouth.

Frowning once again, Clint turned to look at whoever Bucky was talking to.

There standing by the oven, was a beautiful looking blonde. Standing next to her was Phil, who had his arms wrapped around her waist.

Feeling his heart break, Clint's duffle dropped from his hands without his knowledge.

Startled by the noise, everyone turned to look at the cause of the noise.

"Clint" They all said at once.

Clint just shook his head, picked up his duffle bag, and turned to leave.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	7. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the last chapter

  
Not bothering to listen the shouts from the Avengers or the kids, Clint hurried down the stairwell, knowing that if he had entered the elevator, JARVIS would have stopped it. 

Exiting the building as fast as he could, Clint sprinted over to his bike and hopped on. 

He could see Phil and Steve push through the doors right as he sped through the busy New York traffic, but didn’t stop despite their devastated looks. 

Diving to the SHIELD base that he had been so excited to leave just an hour earlier, Clint cursed the people who had thought were his family - and vowed to never trust anyone but himself ever again. 

How could you have been so stupid Barton? Nobody has ever loved you! Nobody will  ever  love you but yourself. Get over it and stop letting people trample over your heart. 

 

Parking his bike, Clint walked into the building and straight over to Fury’s office. 

“Hire me full time” He said the second you crashed through the door. 

Fury just smiled and lifted a hand, “Pop a squat Barton. Let’s talk logistics”

 

*******

Phil cursed himself as soon as Clint ran from the room.

"Well... We just made things worse" Stark said with a sigh.

"I'm sure he'll calm down a bit soon," Natasha said reflectively.

Phil just raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think so?"

"No."

Phil sighed.

Gabriella, slightly confused about the whole ordeal, raised her hand. "Question. Who was that?"

Pietro looked at her, "That was Clint"

"Our old nanny" Wanda chimed in.

"And we've just caused him to run off again." Phil added, self-disgust peppering his tone.

Gabriella wisely didn't add her two-cents. She just nodded. "Ah"

 

*******

"I'm glad to have you on Agent"

Clint smiled and shook Fury's hand. "It's good to be on.... Or hired anyway"

Fury nodded and walked Clint down the corridor. "We've set up your apartment, you dog is already waiting there for you, and anything you need – just put in a requisition form"

Clint hummed, "Will do sir... and... Thanks"

Fury snorted, "Don't thank me kid – this offer was pure selfishness on my part"

Clint just laughed. "Noted sir"

 

*******

The team was awoken the next morning by a call from Marcus, ordering them to come into HQ.

Leaving the kids in Gabriella’s care, the team went to SHIELD while the wives all went to their respective jobs. 

When they arrived, Marcus and Hill were already seated at the conference table. Both were stone-faced, neither one greeting the team as they entered.

Phil, confused as to the purpose of said meeting, took a seat to Marcus’s left, per usual. 

When everyone had settled down, Marcus finally stood up. 

“Hello everyone”

Phil just raised an eyebrow.  Since when did Marcus say Hello?

“Heeeeey Black Beard, what’s up with the meeting?” Stark asked in his typical, obnoxious, manner. 

Marcus grunted, “I’ve added a new relief member to the team”

Phil frowned, “Sir. This wasn’t discussed with me or Steve and-”

“It was decided yesterday” Marcus interrupted. 

Phil binked, and Marcus continued. “Your new team member is someone I had originally wanted for the team, but he dropped off the map before I could do so. Luckily, he’s came into SHIELD temporarily that last 2 months, and yesterday was hired on, on a permanent basis”

Steve raised a finger, “Who is this person?”

Marcus grinned and gestured to the door. 

Phil and the team all twisted their heads around immediately.

“ Clint?!”  Phil gasped. 

 

*******

Clint smirked and walked further into the room. 

He felt confident in his tac suit, knowing that it contoured to his muscles perfectly. As he walked past the people he used to consider his family, he felt practically gleeful as he watched their faces, shock written in everyone (even Natasha and Bucky, which was saying something). 

Coming to parade rest next to Fury, Clint nodded to the team. 

“It will be a pleasure to work with you all…”

The room erupted into chaos. 

Clint just stood back from it all, refusing to rise to the bait their aggravated shouts dealt to him. 

After several minutes, Fury slashed a hand through the air. “Enough! He came to  me,  and I will put him where I deem fit. If ya’ll didn’t want this to happen, you shouldn’t have let it. Now you’re all dismissed”

Reluctantly, the team left one-by-one, until only the four of them (Phil, Fury, Hill, and Clint) were left.

“This is a low thing to do - even for you Marcus” Phil hissed. 

Before Fury could respond, Clint raised his hand up to cut Fury off. 

“Nothing low about it  sir.  You all don’t even need me anymore as a nanny. You all looked extremely comfortable, and I am  sure  the new nanny satisfies a of  your  needs Coulson”

Nodding to Fury and Hill, Clint began to walk out of the room. 

“Clint! That’s not fair!”

Clint didn’t turn back. He couldn’t. 

He wouldn’t allow yet another goddamn person he had trusted see him weak. He would never let anyone see him weak again. 

 

*******

Phil sighed in disgust and turned to glare at Marcus. 

The man just raised his hand and smiled. “You’re the one who fucked everything up. I’m just cashing in the benefits…. Well, consequences for you”

Phil turned to Hill. “You can’t honestly be serious about hiring a 19 year old?”

Hill rested her palms on the conference table, speaking for the first time. “20”

Phil paused. “What?”

“He’s 20 Phil. More than old enough to make his own decision and work for SHIELD. In the past 2 months he’s brought down 2 major drug trafficking rings. I’m with Fury on this one, your fuck-up is our gain”

Phil had to sit back down. “Oh god…. We missed his birthday”

Marcus snorted. “And you only made things worse too. Take my advice Cheese - If you  ever  want Barton to forgive you all, let him go”

Phil just slowly nodded and left the conference room.

 

*******

Clint sighed and stared mindlessly at the TV, Lucky sprawled over him (gnawing at a piece of pizza). 

“Man, this is boring Luck. I wish I didn’t miss everyone so much. I should hate them. I really should”

Lucky looked up at Clint with his one eye, and woofed. 

“Thanks for the support”

Pushing the dog off him, Clint got up to use the can, when the doorbell rung. 

Frowning, Clint answered it, and was handed a huge package 

“Sign here sir” The delivery guy said. 

Thinking it was from SHIELD, Clint signed for it, and closed the door behind him. 

“Wonder what this could be” Clint muttered to himself as he began the intricate process of getting the damn package open. 

Finally getting the damn lid off minutes later, Clint was shocked to find that inside was a cake.

 

Happy Belated 20th Birthday Clint. 

Love, 

The Starks, Coulsons, Barnes, Rogers, Banners, Odinsons, and Jarvis

 

Raising an eyebrow, Clint set the cake on the counter.

“Nice try guys, but forgiveness is more than just one cake’s worth” Clint said down to the package. 

A lot more.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	8. Before the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint makes some new friends at SHIELD, and tries to forgive and forget his old ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE I WILL GET ANOTHER CHAPTER OUT THIS MONTH

Things remained tense for everyone involved for the next several months. 

Clint refused to see any of the Avengers unless a mission, but would only see the children  if their new nanny wasn’t in the vicinity. 

Phil and Fury barely talked anymore unless strictly necessary, and the fact that Clint and Fury spent more time together didn’t help, 

Phil and Gabriella continued to date, which caused tension with Pietro and Wanda. In fact, the two older children weren’t seen much by anyone, except Clint. 

The fact that the twins went to Clint with all their problems caused the other Avengers and their partners to feel left out.

All in all, it was kind of a mess. 

But it got better within a couple of months. 

Nothing was solved, but it was better. 

 

~

“I’m making this  very  clear Stark” Clint said with a sigh. “I am  only  coming to this New Year's Eve party because of the kids and Pepper’s threats of tears”

Stark shrugged, “I’ll take it Legolas. Be there at 8 o’clock sharp, fancy dress”

Clint groaned, “I hate monkey suits”

 

*******

During the several months that Clint was working with SHIELD, he had made a lot of connections and friendships. 

None more so than the ones with Agent Lance Hunter and Agent Bobbi Morse. 

Bobbi and Hunter were a couple that were both horrible for each other, and yet, oddly suiting. 

Clint had become fast friends with Hunter and Bobbi, and felt like he could tell them anything. 

Hunter and Bobbi felt like they could talk to Clint about anything, too. 

Sometimes that was Clint’s downfall. 

Usually that came when the two were having an argument. 

Clint hated being in the middle of things like that. But he still wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. 

Well…. Sometimes he wished he could have SHIELD and the Avengers the way it was now, and the way it was in the past.

But that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. 

 

~

“Clint!”

Clint turned around and smiled at Bobbi as she jogged up to meet him. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

Bobbi ran a hand through her blonde hair, “I need a favor”

Clint smiled, “Anything”

“I need to be your date to Stark’s party”

Clint blinked, “Uh…. Do I want to know why?”

Bobbi grimaced, “My parents are gonna be there”

Clint raised a hand, “Say no more. I know how much they hate Hunter”

Bobbi nodded, “He’s gonna be at the party too, but the last time they saw each other, it ended badly”

Clint smiled, “You want me to charm the pants off of them while you and Hunter sneak away to make out, am I right?”

Bobbi smiled, “Correct”

Clint nodded and stuck out his hand, “Deal”

Bobbi shook it, “Thanks”

“Oh a favor in the future is involved”

“I had no doubt”

Clint laughed in response. 

 

*******

Clint looked up as someone knocked on his door. 

“Enter!” He called out, already knowing who was on the other side. Though he lived in an apartment, his door was always unlocked, a sign of trust for the rest of the people in the building. Most did the same thing, and Clint had come to find everyone in the building as much his family as the Avengers had once been. 

The door opened, and in walked the twins. 

Clint sighed, “What happened now?”

Pietro shoved his hands into his pants pockets, “Why does there have to be something that happened? Could we not be visiting me because we missed you?”

Clint rolled his eyes and stood up. “If that were true, you guys would have texted me to meet up at a Starbucks. Now spill”

Wanda sighed and flopped down onto Clint’s bed. “The Avengers keep treating us like we are children”

Clint raised an eyebrow, “You are children. What’s your point?”

“Just because we are children - it does not mean we can not be of some use!” Pietro snapped out. 

Clint nodded, “They still refuse to train with you guys.”

Wanda and Pietro nodded. 

Sighing, Clint walked to the door and opened it. “Be at Headquarters at 11 AM Saturday.”

Wanda frowned and led Pietro out the door, knowing not to question Clint when he gets determined. 

 

*******

“You’ve got to be kidding mate” Hunter said as he looked down at Wanda and Pietro. 

“Nope” Clint said. “They’re gonna train with us”

“But… But they’re kids!!” Hunter continued. 

Clint rolled his eyes, “They’re only a couple years younger than me, chill. Besides, the Avengers are refusing to train with them”

Hunter blinked, “Oh. Well why didn’t you say so?”

Clint and Bobbi (who had remained silent up until that point) just looked at each other and rolled their eyes. 

“Alright you two” Clint said with a jerk of his head, “Remember simulation Alpha-Foxtrot?”

 

*******

Phil hated when the Avengers had a mission. 

Everything was still so strainedm even after months. 

He hated it even more when they would come home to the kids and Gabriella, but Clint would be back at his apartment. 

Smiling as Robby and Julianna came rushing towards him, Phil slowly dropped to his knees. 

“How are my two favorite people in the world?”

“Great!” They both said at once.

Phil laughed and gave them hugs as the other team members drifted in to do the same, Gabriella watching from the couch. 

Standing up, Phil walked over to Gabriella and dropped a kiss to her forehead. “How was everyone today?”

“Good” She said to him. “For the most part”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “For the most part”

Gabriella  nodded, “The twins were-”

“They weren’t here at all again?”

“Yep”

“Dammit”

“I tried calling them” She said with a grimace. 

“I’ll see if I can find them. They can’t continue this behavior for much longer”

“What’s wrong Agent Agent?” Stark called out. 

“The twins have been out all day” Phil called out.

“Again? Do I need JARVIS to lock them in here?” Stark asked incredulously. 

“Oh yes Stark, that will make everything better” Natasha said with a snort. 

“She’s got a point. The twins will just get more annoyed if we stuck them in here” Bruce said  gently. 

Stark grimaced, “I guess”

Phil sighed, “I’ll call them again. If they don’t answer, I’ll call Clint”

“How do you know they’re with Clint?” Barnes asked. 

Phil just raised an eyebrow. 

“Sorry, stupid question”

“No need to call anyone - we’re home” Came a voice from behind them all. 

Phil spun around, “Where have you two been?”

Wanda shrugged, “None of your business”

“Hey. That’s no way to talk to your elders young lady” Steve said sternly. 

“Terribly sorry for my sister’s attitude” Pietro said with a smug grin. 

Phil sighed, “Just go to your rooms, I know this conversation won’t get any better”

“So gracious” Wanda said as she led Pietro to the elevator. 

When the twins were gone, Darcy looked at him. “Man, you allow them to walk all over you AC”

Phil rolled his eyes and plopped down next to Gabriella. “If I tried to pull the reigns, it would just make everything worse. I’ll talk to Clint about it, see what we can work out”

“Why do you think they keep going over there?” Pepper asked, shooing all of the kids off to go play. 

“They’re close in age. There was always a closeness between those three” Betty added quietly. 

Phil nodded, no need to add on. “Like I said, I’ll talk to Clint”

Everyone nodded and that was that.

 

*******

“Hello?” Clint rasped out as he blindly answered his phone at six in the morning. 

“Clint?”

Clint sat up straight. “Ph-Coulson?”

“Yes”

Clint rubbed at his eyes, “Sir…. Is there any reason you’re calling me this early? Are we heading out on a mission”

“No…. No… Nothing like that. I just need to chat with you”

Clint sighed, “And this chat couldn’t have waited until later?”

“No”

“Proceed then”

“The twins are becoming more and more hard to deal with lately. I know they’ve been coming to you a lot, and I was just-”

“Train with them”

“I beg your pardon?”

Clint rolled his eyes. “They’re getting sick and tired of you guys treating them like kids. Train with them. You won’t be sorry if you do”

“What the hell does that-”

Clint hung up the phone and fell back asleep. 

 

*******

Clint groaned as Bobbi tried her hardest to get the bowtie to hang straight. 

“You’re not going to get it to work love, might as well give up” Hunter said with a laugh. 

“Shut up man, how did you get your’s to look so good?” Clint said with a huff. 

“Talent”

“Clip-on”

“Bobbi!”

Bobbi smirked while Clint laughed at Hunter and his expense. 

“Do I really have to go?” Clint said sometime later. 

Hunter looked at him, “If I have to dress in a monkey suit and go, so do you mate”

“What if all three of us… Here me out now…  Didn’t  go”

Bobbi looked at him as the three stepped into an SUV, “You want to disappoint Pepper?”

“Fuck, you’re right”

“She always is” Hunter said with a snort

Bobbi winked at Clint, causing the younger man to laugh. 

This evening is going to be interesting, I’ll certainly give it that

 

*******

“Are you sure this is what you want sir?” 

The leader sat back in his seat, his eyes watching the young archer on the video screens before him.  “I want Clint Barton - and I want the Avengers there when I get him”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask)))


	9. It's a Crappy New Years, Clint Barton!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The New Year's Eve party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA! I TOLD YA'LL I'D GET IT OUT THIS MONTH.  
> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Clint looked around the ballroom.

“Ugh… So pretentious” He muttered to himself as he grabbed a glass of champagne.

“If you chug that mate - I’m not dragging your sloshed ass home” Hunter said, bemused, from Clint’s side.

“Oh don’t worry clint. I’m sure by the end of the evening, it’ll be Hunter that’s sloshed”

“Bobbi!” Hunter said affronted, as Clint laughed.

Bobbi just winked at the two men, grabbed a champagne flute, and went to go circulate.

“How long do we have to stay again?” Clint murmured to Hunter as he watched the rest of the Avengers and SHIELD team walk around the room.

“Until Bobbi says we can leave”

“Shit…. I was afraid of that”

Hunter laughed and clapped Clint on the back before walking away.

“Clint!!!”

Plastering a smile on his face that he certainly didn’t feel, Clint made his way over to where the twins were waving frantically in his direction.

“Hey guys! I see they finally let you out of the tower: Clint teased.

Wanda smiled, “They have. I am excited to see what will happen at our first Avengers party”

“Hopefully something exciting” Pietro added on.

Clint grinned, “Well I hope so too. If only to break the monotony”

“Clint! So nice of you to come”

Clint winked at the twins and turned to face Pepper Pots. “Well… How could I say no to my favorite gal?”

Pepper rolled her eyes, Oh come off it. You know you only came because I threatened to cry”

Clint raised his glass in a mock toast. “You caught me. A woman’s tears are my only weakness”

“Shit, did you hear that guys? Legolas has a weakness!”

Clint rolled his eyes and turned to his former boss.. “And hello to you too Stark”

Tony pouted, “So hostile. And here I thought we were BFFLs”

Clint, Wanda, and Pietro all grimaced.

“What? I’m hip with the kids!!”

“Oh god Stark. Stop before you make things worse”

Clint very carefully didn’t tense at the sound of Phil’s voice behind him.

Turning around, Clint tried his hardest to keep his expression blank.

Wrapped around Phil’s arm was Gabriella, a smile on her face (and a gorgeous cocktail dress on her body). 

“Hello… Coulson…” Clint murmured.

Phil smiled in return, “Hello Clint”

Clint nodded and then waved at Gabriella, still not entirely comfortable being around her.

“So….. Who has the kids tonight?” He asked the whole group, but it was more pointed towards their alleged nanny.

“Oh we got Happy to do it. He said that was his Christmas gift for not having to deal with this party” Pepper said with a laugh.

The rest of the group followed after her, even Clint after a moment (if a little awkwardly).

“Oooo, what’s going on? I wanna join!” 

Clint raised an eyebrow as Barnes spoke, the rest of the Avengers crew finally closing in on them.

“Nothing actually. We were just exchanging pleasantries”

Steve and Nat raised an eyebrow in return.

“Pleasantries?” Darcy commented.

“Yup”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “You’re a pain in the butt Clinton”

“... Do you know how many jokes I could make right now?” Tony asked.

“We do” Betty said softly.

“Please don’t” Bruce finished and pleaded with a resigned sigh.

Tony just pouted.

Having had enough of the awkwardness, Clint coughed and shifted on his feet. “Right. Well. As  _ fun  _ as this is guys, I have to-”

“And this is Clinton Barton mother, father. He’s my new beau”

Clint turned from the Avengers and co, and put on his most diplomatic smile. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Morse. A please to meet you both”

Sticking out his hand, Clint shook both of theirs, and stepped back to Bobbi’s side. Wrapping an arm around her waist, Clint tried his best to seem straight.

“Oh, I’m so glad to see Barbara with someone other than that unsuitable Englishman. He was such a hoodlum, if you ask me” Bobbi’s mother said with a sniff.

Clint’s smiled hardened. “Yes, well… I sure am glad Bobbi and I are dating now. I always thought we were perfect for each other”

Bobbi’s father nodded. “Right. Come Barbara, leave your man here with his friends and mingle with your mother and I”

Bobbi nodded and kissed Clint’s cheek, before walking away with her parents.

When the trio disappeared from eyesight, Clint relaxed his body once more.

“Uh…. What in the hell was that?” Tony asked. 

Clint looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

“Barton! You are finally in a relationship! What joyous news! I am very proud that you have finally made this change in your life” Thor said with a goofy grin.

Clint looked at Jane, “He snuck in Asgardian mead, didn’t he?”

Jane nodded, “Yup”

Clint sighed. 

“Is this true? Are you dating Agent Morse?” Phil asked quietly. 

Clint’s nose wrinkled. “Ew, no. As pretty as Bobbi is, she’s not really my type. Besides, she’s dating Hunter”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, “Agent Hunter? The unsuitable English hoodlum?”

Clint nodded, “That would be the one”

Barnes snorted, “This is officially my favorite Avengers party. This is gonna turn out so bad, I just know it”

Clint just groaned and didn’t deign to whoop Barnes’ ass.

 

*******

“Sir, all is in position. What shall you have us do now?”

“Send in the waiters. Let’s see how Barton works under pressure”

“Very well sir”

 

*******

“Ow!” Clint hissed out. 

Bobbi turned to look at him as they waltzed around the room. “Are you okay?”

Clint raised a hand to rub at his neck. “Yeah… Something just stung my neck”

Bobbi raised an eyebrow, “Bug bite?”

Clint frowned. “No…. Tony would never allow bugs to be in one of his buildings…. Besides Scott Lang that is anyway”

Bobbi raised an eyebrow, “What are you saying Clint”

Clint felt the edges of his vision go blurry, “Pretty sure I’ve just been drugged or poisoned.”

Bobbi sighed, “Well this evening just got a lot more interesting”

 

*******

Phil watched as Clint and Bobbi waltzed around the room, and gripped his champagne glass tightly. 

“Whoa there Cheese, you may want to release the glass before it breaks” 

Turning his head to look at Marcus, Phil raised an eyebrow. 

Marcus snorted, “Don’t give me that look Cheese. You started this shit”

Phil sighed, resigned, and turned back to watching Clint. Marcus stood next to him on his right side and watched the couple as well.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say those two would be a fitting couple.”

Phil grunted and took another swallow of his champagne. 

“Speaking of relationships… Where’s yours?”

Phil turned his head and nodded to where Gabriella was trying to talk to the twins. 

“Man, she needs to stop trying. She’s never going to get anywhere with them…”

Phil sighed, “We all know that. But she keeps trying”

“Right….”

Phil looked up at Marcus. “You’re not saying something. Spit it out”

Marcus smirked, “Always were a smart son of a bitch”

Phil gave him a sardonic grin. 

“Okay, Jesus. I was just wondering how much this relationship with your girlfriend really means to you”

Phil frowned, “Excuse me?”

Marcus shrugged and turned to look back at Clint and Bobbi. “Are you with her because you want to be, or because you think you need to be?”

Phil blinked, “What in the hell does that mean?”

Marcus smirked and looked at Phil, “If you have to ask that question, you need to think some more. Now excuse me, I need a drink”

Phil watched, confused, as Marcus strolled away without a care in the world. 

_ What the fuck just happened? _

  
*******

“Clint you gotta keep it together for a couple more minutes” Bobbi hissed as Clint began to become more delusional. 

Clint just hummed and looked over Bobbi’s shoulder. “I wonder if Coulson thinks I’m pretty”

“Oh for the love of god” Bobbi sighed to herself. 

“He probably doesn’t.” Clint continued. “Otherwise he and the team wouldn’t have thrown me aside like last week’s garbage”

Bobbi groaned and waltzed Clint closer and closer to the edge of the dance floor, trying to seek out Hunter in the crowd. 

“Man I am fucked uppppp” Clint giggled quietly as they spun round and round.

“Shut up Clint before I shove a napkin into your mouth”

“Ooooo kinky, I like it” Clint said with a wink.

Bobbi groaned again. 

 

*******

“He’s delusional sir. The drugs are working”

“Perfect. Now ramp him up”

“Already done”

 

*******

“Ouch!” Clint hissed once more as Bobbi finally got him off the dance floor. 

“... Did you just get fucking drugged again”

Clint glared at her and rubbed at his neck, “Don’t blame me…. I think. Did I drug myself?”

“No”

“Then I didn’t do it!” Clint pouted. 

Bobbi groaned, “I’m dealing with a five year old”

Hunter came up to them, “What’s wrong Bobbi? I saw you distress signal”

Bobbi shoved Clint to Hunter, “Clint’s been drugged. Twice”

Hunter’s eyes went wide. “You’ve gotta be joking”

Bobbi shook her head, “Nope”

Clint looked up at Hunter, “Do you think Phil thinks I’m pretty?”

Hunter looked at Bobbi, “I believe you”

Bobbi gave him a sarcastic grin. 

Hunter sighed, “Alright mate. Come on, let’s get you sobered up”

Clint nodded and clung to Hunter’s side as the older man drag him from the room. 

 

*******

“We have a problem sir”

“Well, what is it?”

“Barton has been taken from the room by an unknown partner”

“Shit. Well there went part two of the plan….”

“What shall you have us do sir?”

“Shut the fuck up while I try to think”

“As you wish sir”

 

*******

Phil looked around the room, “Has anyone seen Clint?”

Natasha looked at him and raised an eyebrow, “I thought you were keeping tabs on him”

“Yeah Agent Agent!”

Phil sighed, “Shut up Stark. I left to use the bathroom, and when I came back, he was gone”

“Huh. Weird” Barnes said.

Phil nodded, “It is weird”

“Well I can explain that”

The group turned to look as Bobbi Morse walked up to them.

“Agent Morse”

Morse waved her hand. “The name’s Bobbi. But to answer your inquiry, Hunter dragged Clint from the room”

Steve tilted his head, “Why?”

Bobbi sighed. “He’s been drugged. Twice”

“What?!” The whole group snapped at once. 

 

*******

Clint had been really loopy and delusional one moment, and within the next, he was all aggression. 

“Get the fuck off me!” He grunted to Hunter and shoved the man away. 

“Cool it mate, you’re under the influence”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Jesus Christ - shut up”

“Ow. Harsh”

Clint huffed and looked around the room. “Where the fuck are we?”

“Supply closet. It’s just you and me until Bobbi comes to get us, or you cool off from all those drugs you’ve been hit with”

Clint looked at the door, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I’m not staying trapped in here with you!”

Before Hunter could open his mouth again, Clint was ramming his entire body against the door. 

“Or you could ram the door… That’s cool too...  Might tire you out”

“Shut up!” Clint snapped as he tried punching the door. 

“... This is gonna be a long evening”

 

*******

“We’ve lost Barton sir”

“Well find him then! I’m not losing to that little asshole again!”

“Yessir”

 

*******

Phil stormed the hallway and to the door Bobbi had said Hunter had locked himself and Clint into. 

Unlocking the door, Phil had a split second to dodge Clint’s fist before he received a broken nose. 

“Fucking finally!” Clint all but shouted as he ran from the room.

Phil blinked and looked at Hunter. The man in question sighed, “You just let loose the Hulk in sheep’s clothing mate”

_ … Well fuck. _

 

*******

“Sir… We’ve found Barton”

“Perfect. Commence Part Three please”

“Of course sir”

“Oh, wait!”

“Yes sir?”

“Take it slow. Make him suffer”

“No worries sir. We’ll do it just the way you want it”

 

*******

Clint was ready to climb the fucking walls.

 

He wanted to climb up mountains, and jump off cliffs.

 

His heart was beating in his chest and he was so pumped-up on adrenaline, he could almost hear colors. 

 

“Mr. Barton!!”

 

Clint spun around, fight or flight instincts soaring, as a waiter jogged towards him.

 

Standing up straight, Clint bounced from foot to foot as the waiter came closer.

 

“Can I help you?” Clint ground out.

 

The waiter smiled and shuffled his feet. “Sorry sir, I uhm… I just….”

 

“Spit it out please” Clint spat.

 

The waiter gulped. “It’s just - you’re my favorite Avenger and I just want your autograph”

 

Clint nodded, still jittery. “Sure…. Sure…. You gotta pen?”

 

The waiter grimaced as he patted himself down. “No…. But maybe you could follow me to the kitchen to find one?”

 

Clint nodded, and off to the kitchen the two were.

 

*******

“He’s headed towards the kitchen now sir”   
  
“Wonderful”

 

*******

“What do you mean you can’t find Agent Barton?” Phil practically shouted at the poor junior agent.

“He’s… He’s nowhere to be found sir, we looked everywhere” The junior agent stammered out.

Phil growled under his breath and waved his hand, effectively dismissing the junior agent (who booked it the hell out of dodge two seconds later)

The rest of the group was all sitting around one of the tables, the rest of the party guests having been home the second the ball dropped on the New Year. 

Bucky leaned back in his chair, his bowtie hanging limp around his neck. “So we have no clue where Barton is?”

Phil shook his head and plopped into a seat next to Gabriella, and turned to look at Bobbi and Hunter. “You two know him best now, where do you think he would be?”

Bobbi and Hunter looked at each other, and grimaced. 

“Well…” Bobbi started. 

“You see mate…. Barton may be predictable when sober” Hunter continued. 

“But drugged up? He seems like a whole other person” Bobbi then finished. 

Phil nodded slowly, and then thunked his head against the table. “That helped nothing, but thanks”

“No problem mate” Hunter said with a shrug (which earned him a smack from Bobbi). 

“He couldn’t have gone very far,” Steve murmured “It’s cold outside and he’s likely to be dropping from the drug cocktail in his system soon”

“But who knows how the drugs affected his system” Natasha sighed. “He looked ready to rampage. He could be halfway through New York by now”

Phil groaned, “This is just great. Just fucking great”

Darcy, who had been surprisingly quiet up until this point, raised an eyebrow. “Have any of you guys checked the security tapes”

A dozen pairs of eyes all shot in Darcy’s direction, widened, and with an eerie sounding unison, went “Fuck!”

Jumping up from his seat, Stark called out for Jarvis to project the security footage following Clint for the evening after he had escaped the coat closet. 

 

*******

Clint stormed through the kitchen behind the waiter, his body full of vibrations that made his skin itch and tingle. 

“Where’s the pen?” He growled out. 

The waiter looked at him and grimaced, “You really are my favorite superhero - but he has my wife”

Clint looked at the waiter for two seconds, before groaning. “I walked right into a fucking trap. Run kid, run while you still can”

The waiter gulped and sprinted away as the kitchen went into chaos. 

Thirty men all burst into the room, guns ablazing, all aimed at his person. 

Leering at them, Clint let himself succumb even further to the drugs that were coursing through his veins. 

 

*******

“And he took out all of the men”

“Yessir. Without even blinking”

“Shit. We shouldn’t have given him the second drug….. Where is he now?”

“He broke through the wooden door and was knocked out by a rock”

“A rock?”

“Yessir. I saw him getting away and I hit him with a rock”

“So we have Barton?”

“Yessir.”

“Perfect. Bring out my pet project then… Oh! And do send our message out to the Avengers and friends please”

“... Of course… Sir…”

 

*******

“He was fucking kidnapped” Barnes said with a groan. 

“Great. This is just great.” Bobbi muttered under her breath. 

Phil sighed and rubbed at his nose, “I guess it’s intel gathering time”

Stark sighed, “Jarv - let the games begin”

“Of course sir” The AI stated. “But first, I have an incoming message from an unknown source - shall I put it up for you all?”

Stark looked at Phil, who nodded. “This could be about Clint’

Stark nodded back, “Do it buddy”

“Very well sir”

A video was projected onto the wall behind them. In it was a craggly looking man sitting behind a desk. 

“Hello Avengers! By now I am sure you’re aware that your little birdie has gone missing. Don’t worry, he’ll be in safe hands…. Well, at least for a little while” The man let out a dusty sounding laugh. “You see, I have a little pet project going on that I’ve been  _ dying  _ to put to good use. Barton is the perfect person for my little test run. Now, I really must run. I’ll be sure to send the body back when we’re done with it. Though I don’t know why you would need it, it’s not like Barton had anybody to go to his funeral anyway” The video ending with the man laughing again.

Jarvis shut it off, and the room was filled with silence. 

“New Year. Same damn issues” Tony ground out with a kick to the nearest wall. 

Phil unfortunately couldn’t have agreed more. 

“Don’t worry” Hunter said to his left. “We’ll find him”

*******

Clint groaned and woke up on a cold, wet surface. “Where in the fuck am I?”

“Don’t worry little brother… You’re in safe hands”

Clint gasped and turned to look at the man he had thought dead…. By his own hands. 

“Barney?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	10. Let's Go Get Clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint has been kidnapped by someone he thought was dead, and the team have to get him back.

“You’ve lost one of my best agents. You’ve lost him”

“We haven’t lost him Marcus, he was kidnapped”

“On your watch!”

“I didn’t think I needed to be on watch!”

Fury just gave Phil a look, “Well since you guys lost him - you have to find him!”

“Why in the hell do you think we came to you first?!?”

They were obviously getting nowhere anytime soon. 

 

*******

“Barney is that really you?!”

Barney smirked and walked over to where Clint was laying down and crouched next to him, “Sure is brat. Guess I made of tougher stuff that your backstabbing and betrayal”

Clint sighed and pressed hand to his head, “Technically you betrayed me first with Buck and Jacques, Barney. I just stopped you from killing me first”

“Yeah, you do. And look where it got you. Under my control once again”

“Actually he’s under  _ my  _ control Mr. Barton, and don’t you forget it” A voice said from behind Barney.    
Barney stood up and turned around, “Of course… No worries boss”

The old man nodded to Barney and passed by him, “Ah… The other Mr. Barton. Or should I call you Hawkeye? That  _ is  _ your Avenger name, is it not?”

Clint looked up at the old man, “Who are you? What do you want? What’s going on?”

The man laughed, “So curious. You didn’t tell me about that Trickshot….”

Clint frowned, “Trickshot?”

Barney smirked, “It’s what I go by now brat. Took Buck’s name after he was killed”

Clint sighed, “Of course you did. Now you two are going to kill me as well, I presume?”

“Oh no, Mr. Barton. Killing you would be too easy. You see, I’m a scientist - and experiment are my livelihood”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Is Barney one of your experiments?”

The man grinned, “Smart too! Good job, you guessed the secret to Trickshot’s reanimation”

Clint nodded, “Right… Right…. Uhm…. So, what are you going to do to me then?”

The man smirked and turned around, “That’s for us to know - and for you to find out”

With those parting words, Barney and the old man left the room laughing, leave  Clint alone to his thoughts. 

_ Welp. I’m fucked.  _

 

*******

Phil and the rest of the Avengers were in the SHIELD mission briefing room with Bobbi and Hunter. 

“So what do we know?” Hunter said with a frown. 

Phil sighed, “Frankly? Nothing. We’ve tried to trace the video, but something is blocking us - not even Tony could get through it”

I could! I just…” 

“You just nothing Stark, don’t even try and make up something” Natasha said with a sigh. 

“Natasha’s right Tony. What we need is a hacker that could go even go through Jarvis’s firewalls”

“I uh…. Think that’s where I come in?”

Everyone turned their head to the newcomer. It was a young woman, probably in her early 20s. She was a brunette, with subtle Asian ancestry. 

Phil raised an eyebrow, “And who are you?”

The girl raised her phone, “Name’s Skye. Hacker extraordinaire”

Tony looked at her, “I think I’m in love”

“Shut up Stark” Barnes said with a sigh as the girl entered the room and over to the huge screen at the other end of the table. 

Phil stepped aside as the girl started to do some wizard technology magic that he couldn’t identify. 

 

*******

Clint looked up as Barney reentered the room. 

“Why are you doing this?” He whispered. 

Barney sighed and walked over to crouch next to Clint. “Because I have to… At least for right now”

Clint frowned, “For right now? What the hell are you talking about?”

Barney shrugged, “The dude brought me back to life, kept me sort of prisoner here. I’ve been slowing trying to find a way out…. That’s where you come in”

Clint sighed. “So I’m the experiment and the scapegoat”

Barney shook his head, “No. No that’s not true. I’ve done a lot of things wrong in life, but this is my chance to make things right. Starting with getting us both out of here soon”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “Why are you helping me? I thought you-”

“Hated you? I did….. I did hate you, for a while. But I’ve had time to think, reflect. I hated what I saw in myself, and hated that I was working for a psychopath.”

Clint nodded, “So you’re gonna help me”

“Yeah… Yeah I am”

Clint looked up at the brother he had thought he had lost, long before he had though he had killed him. 

“Then let’s get started”

 

*******

Phil watched the girl work, it was phenomenal. 

“So… How did you know we were here?” He asked her as the rest of the team discussed strategy.

Skye looked at him and smiled, “I heard through the grapevine that Clint was in trouble - so I followed my gut and heard you talking about my area of expertise”

Phil blinked, “Clint?”

Skye nodded, “Yeah. Clint and I met a couple months ago. He really helped me out - got me out of the Ten Rings and into this place”

“YOU WERE IN THE TEN RINGS?!”

Phil’s eye twitched, “Obviously Stark - she just said so”

“That’s so awesome”

Skye grinned, “I thought so too… Until I almost went to jail and Clint bailed me out. Now it’s my turn to return the favor”

Phil nodded, “Then we obviously won’t stop you”

Skye winked, “Thanks AC”

Phil blinked, “AC?”

“Agent Coulson. It’s what we call you behind your back” Hunter said from across the room.

Phil sighed, “Of course you all do”

Stark snorted, and seconds later was smacked upside the head.

 

*******

Clint groaned as he was thrown down in front of the old man from earlier. 

“Did you have to be so hard?” He whispered to Barney.

“Sorry bro” he whispered back. 

“So Mr. Barton. The time has come to begin our little experiment” The man said, “Are you ready?”

Clint looked up at him and smiled, “I’m ready to go home if that’s what you’re asking”

“No. That’s obviously  _ not  _ what I’m asking” The man said with a scoff as he gestured for Barney to get Clint up from the floor.

Clint rolled his eyes, “ _ Obviously.  _ Anyway, what’s happening now?”

The old man grinned, “The experiment”

Clint sighed as Barney propelled him to a hospital bed. “Yeah I got that. What kind of experiment?”

The old man followed behind them, “That’s something you’ll find out later”

Barney lifted Clint up and put him on the bed and belted him down. “Okay - you’re obviously not going to tell me what you’re going to do…. Will you at least tell me who you are?”

The old man grinned and moved a mask over Clint’s face. “The name is Zemo”

 

*******

It had been two hours since Skye had first come into the briefing room. Phil had been talking to Marcus over the phone for almost 45 minutes, while the rest of the team were in various stages of getting into their armor. 

Nobody knew when Skye would find the place Clint had been taken to, but they knew the second she found it; they needed to be ready. 

“Do I need to pull some more people to be on this Cheese?” Marcus said quietly. 

Phil hummed, “No. We have several Avengers, and three SHIELD Agents. We should be fine”

“Are you sure? I don’t want any of you compromised due to how close you all are to him”

Phil grunted, “We’ll be fine”

“..... Stubborn ass”

“Son of a bitch”

“Good luck Cheese”

“Thank-”

“It looks like they’re in some underground base in the middle of nowhere” Skye said, interrupting his conversation.

Phil looked up from where he was talking quietly on the phone with Marcus, “What?”

Skye gestured to the screen where a red dot was locating where Clint was. 

Tony went close to the screen, “No way.  _ No way” _

Skye smirked, “Yes way. I am that good. Now go find Clint before something shitty happens to him”

Phil quickly said goodbye to Marcus and clicked off the phone, “She’s right. Let’s go find our boy”

 

*******

Clint frowned, “Zemo? Sounds like a shitty 1970s movie villain portrayed by Peter Sellers”

Zemo scoffed, but didn’t answer in kind to Clint’s jibe. “Come Trickshot - we need to start the experiment”

Barney nodded, “No problem sir. Night night punk”

Clint frowned as Barney lifted a mask to his face. 

“What are you doi….ng….” Hawk drawled out as blackness covered his vision and he fell fast asleep. 

 

*******

Phil slipped the gun into his holster and boarded the quinjet. 

“Everyone here?” He asked Steve.

Steve turned to look around and did a mental headcount. “Eight Avengers and three SHIELD Agents, all aboard”

Phil nodded, “Good. Let’s meet upstairs in ten. Who’s piloting?”

Steve frowned, “Someone named May?”

Phil’s eyebrows raised. “Melinda is piloting? I thought she was permanently tied to her desk…”

Steve shrugged, “She said she owed Barton one. No clue what that actually means”

Phil sighed, “You never really do with Melinda”

“Right… So, upstairs in ten?”

Phil nodded, “Correct”

“See you then”

Phil waved to Steve and headed up to the cockpit to see Melinda. 

 

~

Phil ducked into the cockpit and opened his mouth.

“Not a word Phil”

Phil snapped his mouth closed, and smiled. “Nice to have you back in the field Melinda”

Melinda humphed, “This is a one time deal Phil. One time, and one time only”

Phil grinned, “I’ll get your reasoning eventually”

“Sure… You can try” Melinda said bemused.

Phil just chuckled and ducked back out of the cockpit, he had a meeting to get to. 

 

~

“Alright - what’s the plan  _ AC _ ?” Stark said with a smirk.

Phil sighed and leaned against the huge table that wasn’t supposed to be for meetings. 

“Truthfully? I’m kinda flying by the seat of my pants right now”

Natasha frowned, “That’s not like you Phil…”

Phil rubbed at his face, “I know…. I’ll think of someplace, just give me a minute”

“Maybe we can be of some service?” Came a feminine voice from behind them. 

Heads jerked around to the sound of the voice.

“What in the hell are you two doing here?!” Natasha growled out.

Wanda smiled, “We wanna help”

Pietro nodded, “Clint is our friend too…”

“You two aren’t even close to ready!” Steve said, shocked.

“Actually….” Bobbi started with a grimace.

Phil narrowed his eyes, “What was that?”

Hunter rolled his eyes, “Clint, Bobbi, and I have been running simulations with the kids - they’re more than ready”

Wanda and Pietro nodded quickly.

Phil looked at the team and raised his eyebrows. Everyone looked around at each other, resigned.

“Fine. You can stay - but you gotta stay behind us, alright?” Barnes said eventually.

Pietro and Wanda both grinned and nodded their heads quickly. 

“ETA 15 minutes” May said over the sound system.

Phil nodded, “Everyone buckle up. Shit’s about to hit the fan”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	11. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and the team save Clint, while Clint figures out just what Zemo's experiment was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but my writing muse has literally been off in the Bahamas. I will try and promise my next update will be quicker. 
> 
> Also, I think I may expand the story from 20 to more. I originally planned the story differently, and the story has gone way off path and I'm literally writing as I go. So... Yeah.

Clint woke up slowly, his vision blurry and his head pounding. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth, and he just knew he had been out of it for a long time. 

Squinting his eyes, Clint tried to look around the room he was in, but didn’t see anything recognizable or significant. 

_ Definitely not a room I had been in before.  _

Sitting up, Clint groaned and clutched at his forehead. 

“If I didn’t know better, I would think I was hung-over” He said to himself softly. 

Groaning once more, Clint rolled off of the bed and straightened out his spine slowly. 

“Fuck,” He hissed. 

“Such language for one so young” Zemo’s voice tsked from the other side of the room. 

Turning his head to look at the dickweed that was keeping him hostage, Clint just sighed. “And here I was thinking it had all been a dream”

Zemo smirked, “No. No dream I’m afraid, only reality”

Clint nodded, “Reality. Right. So did you do your experiment? Am I a freak yet, or do we have to do the whole knocking out thing again?”

Zemo gave Clint an unamused expression. “If I were you Mr. Barton, I would curb your tongue. I am a lenient man, but I will not be pushed around with inferior beings”

Clint nodded, “Okay. Didn’t answer my question though”

Zemo’s jaw clenched as he strolled forward into the room and pointed to a doorway, “In there you will see what you’ve become”

Clint nodded and walked to the door. 

_ This is gonna be so bad, I can just fucking tell. Holy shit, don’t freak out Barton. Freaking out will only give him satisfaction. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  _

Taking a deep breath, Clint opened the door to what seemed to be a tiny half-bath. 

Slowly moving his hand along the wall, Clint found the light switch and flipped it on. 

Hissing as the light caused his pounding head to worsen, Clint squinted his eyes and tried to get used to the scene change. 

After a few moments, his headache went back from exploding to constant ache, and he was able to look into the mirror. 

Frowning, Clint looked back at himself. 

_ Normal. What the hell? _

Turning his body this way and that, Clint found that nothing in his physical appearance had changed. 

“What the hell are you pulling Zemo?” He asked the older scientist as soon as he exited the bathroom. 

Zemo just smirked, “A wolf in sheep’s clothing, my dear Barton. A wolf in sheep’s clothing”

Clint stared at him in confusion as the man just chuckled and left the room. 

 

*******

“We’ll be landing in twenty minutes” May said over the intercom. 

Phil nodded, before sighing heavily and rubbing at his eyes. 

“You okay AC?” Bobbi asked quietly. 

Phil huffed and nodded, “Yeah. Just never expected having to deal with this when I hired Clint as our nanny”

Bobbi smiled, “I’m pretty sure he wasn’t expecting having to deal with this when he interviewed to be your nanny”

“Uhm… I have the blueprints you needed?” Skye said quietly from behind them. 

Phil smiled at the younger woman, “Bring them up on the screen. Steve, we need a plan”

“I have a plan, attack” Tony said with a pout. 

Steve rolled his eyes and looked at the blue prints. “Okay… This looks like a pretty easy building to infiltrate, any sensors showing security system?” Steve looked at Skye and Tony. 

Both shook their heads. 

“Right. I think we should split into two teams. Defense and infiltration, and offense and elimination” Steve then looked to Phil. 

Phil hummed as he looked at the blue prints. “Offense comes in from the front. I want the heavy hitters in that one: Steve, Thor, Tony, Bucky, and Natasha. Tony and Thor, you’re the elimination. The rest of you are offense. Defense comes in from the back. Myself, Hunter, Pietro, and Wanda will be infiltration. Bobbi, can you handle defense?”

Bobbi smirked, “You bet I can… But luckily, I won’t be alone”

Phil raised an eyebrow, but didn’t get an answer in return. 

“... Right. Skye, Bruce - you stay on board. Skye will be on communications with the rest of the team, and will alert Bruce of a possible Code Green. Good?”

The team nodded. 

“Then let’s get going team” Phil said calmly as he walked away to make sure he had everything he needed. 

 

*******

Clint was very calmly freaking out inside his room. 

_ Barney, where the fuck are you? Tell me what’s going on!! _

Clenching and unclenching his fists on his lap, Clint tried his hardest to calm his heartbeat, to no avail. 

_ Is this what a panic attack feels like? Have I ever had one of those before? Shit…  _

The door opened once again, and Clint shot his gaze over to it. 

When Barney slipped into the room, the breath Clint hadn’t realized he had been holding released itself. 

“Hey” He said quietly. 

Barney nodded. “Don’t look at me, pretend you hate me”

Clint raised an eyebrow, but turned his head quickly. “Visual, but no audio?”

“Got it in one”

“Well at least that’s something” Clint said with a sigh. “You mind telling me what’s inside my body?”

Barney hummed, “Not completely sure to be honest. Zemo likes to talk in really big science words, and after a bit I just don’t even try to comprehend it. From what I was able to puzzle together, it’s some sort of enhancer”

Clint looked at the door over Barney’s right shoulder and crossed his arms, simulation anger. “So what? Like steroids?”

“More like a steroid-steroid. I’m thinking Steve Rogers level steroid”

“Shit” Clint cursed quietly. 

“My thoughts exactly. Which, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t the bad part.”

Clint froze, “That makes it sound like there’s something worse coming”

Barney nodded slowly, almost seeming like he was stretching his neck. “He put a trigger inside of you. Kind of matches mine. We get to far from his control, he flips the switch and we’re full-blown puppets”

Clint’s hand clenched again, “Fuck me.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums that up. I was hoping we would be able to get out before he experimented on you. After watching several of Zemo’s experiments, I’m pretty sure I can get the trigger out of me…. But with two triggers, I don’t think I would have enough time before Zemo started in on the torture”

Clint nodded, “I understand. Guess we just need a new plan”

Barney snorted, “Always so optimistic.”

Clint tilted his head down and smiled, his hands rubbing up and down his pants. 

“Shit… I gotta go, guard duty is over. I’ll see you later tonight, okay?”

Clint nodded slowly, and Barney was gone. 

_ Fuck, we need a plan.  _

_ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  _

 

*******

The plane landed in a clearing twenty minutes later, a heavy smattering of trees surrounding the area. 

Walking onto the ground below, Phil was surprised to see May joining them. 

“So that’s what Bobbi meant when she said she wouldn’t be alone” Phil said, amused. 

May gave Phil a look, “This is a one-off Phil, don’t think otherwise.”

Phil smiled, “I’m glad you’re here”

May huffed and walked away. 

Turning his head, Phil watched as the whole team disembarked from the plane. 

“Okay I want everyone to get into their teams. We all got our comms?”

Everyone nodded. 

“Good. I want Offense and Elimination to take a SouthWest route through the woods. Defense and Infiltration, take the North East. We should hit our destinations at the same time. After I give the go, O and E will enter first. Two minutes later, I want D and I entering from the back. Clear?”

“Clear” Everyone responded quickly. 

Phil smiled and nodded to Steve. 

“Alright team, Avengers Assemble!”

And away they went. 

  
~

Phil tramped through the forest slowly, his night vision goggles making his face hot and sweaty. 

“I see the building about thirty paces away” He whispered over his comms. 

“We do too” Steve answered in response. 

_ Good. My calculations had been correct.  _

With May to his right, and Bobbi to his left, Phil crept forward until his back was pressed against the wall of the building. 

“At the building, can you confirm O and E?” 

“Confirmed. Heading in now” Steve answered before the sounds of gun shots rang through his ear. 

Taking a deep breath in, Phil nodded to May and Bobbi - who smashed through the door and started shooting. 

Hunter and Phil, the twins on their heels, sprinted in behind them and through the hallways. 

Taking cover, Phil and Hunter guarded the twins. “Wanda? Can you sense Clint?”

Wanda closed her eyes for a moment before nodding, “He is hidden in a secret room, several floors below this one.”

Hunter groaned, “I hate basements”

Phil rolled his eyes, “Well - let’s get going. May and Morse have things well in hand.”

The three other members of his team nodded, and Phil led them through the halls once more. 

 

*******

Clint faintly heard the sounds of gun-shots and loud shouts. Frowning, he stood up from his bed and walked to the door. 

_ What in the hell is going on now? _

Before he could blink, the door was being shoved open. Clint took several steps back so he wouldn’t end up with a broken nose. 

“Barney? What’s going on?”

Barney grabbed Clint’s hand, “Our chance to get out of here little bro. It seems your buddies are here to claim you”

Clint blinked, “My buddies?”

“Yeah. The Avengers, here to save the day as normal. Come on!” Barney hissed as he tugged at Clint’s hand, leading him down the halls. “I was able to momentarily shut down the cameras, but if Zemo sees we’re not in our safe places - the trigger gets flipped. So we need to hurry”

Clint nodded, finally getting the program. Picking up his speed, Clint and Barney began to gain some ground. 

They rounded a corner and slammed right into Phil and Hunter. 

“Jesus!” Clint hissed. “You guys scared the shit out of me”

“You shouldn’t curse Clint, Steve wouldn’t like it” Pietro’s voice spoke from behind Phil. 

Clint raised an eyebrow and spotted the twins. “You guys let them come? Color me surprised”

Phil sighed, “They said they could help - and it was decided it was high-time to stop treating them like babies.”

Clint grinned, “Well they certainly can help. That’s for sure. Wanda, come here”

Wanda frowned and scooted forward, closer to Barney and Clint. 

“Wanda, this is my brother Barney. He was dead, but now he’s not. Inside both of our bodies, there’s a trigger that needs to be taken out…. Can you do that?”

Wanda nodded, “What does it look like? I need to visualize it”

Clint turned his head to look at Barney. 

“It’s just a small box. It could fit in your hand” The older man said quickly. 

Wanda smiled and closed her eyes. 

Both of the Barton brothers gasped as pain filled their bodies, before two identical boxes literally flew from their stomachs and onto the ground. 

Wanda peaked open one eye, “Did I do it?”

“Yeah, yeah you did” Clint said, out of breath. 

“Good… job” Barney agreed weakly. 

“Well that’s all well and good, but can we get out of here before we have to shoot someone?” Hunter drolled out. 

Clint rolled his eyes, “Sure sure asshole. Lead the way”

Slowly standing up straight, Clint looked into Phil’s eyes. 

Phil just stared back for a moment, before smiling and heading back the way they came. 

 

*******

Phil sped through the compound, leading his group to safety. He was hoping against hope that the way he was going would lead them back to Melinda and Bobbi, or the O and E team. 

“Is the coast clear upstairs” Phil hissed over his comm. 

“All clear boss” Tony answered him. “Everyone’s down for the count”

“Good. We’ve got Clint and his brother, heading up now”

“Clint has a brother? That’s so Cool!” Skye said from the control room.

Phil rolled his eyes. “See you all in a few minutes. Over and out”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	12. Clint Comes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team, Clint, and Barney race against the clock to get out of the building before it explodes.

Clint and Barney followed the rest of the team out of the compound as fast as they could. 

They were almost out when a series of explosions came from behind them.

“What the hell?!?” Clint and Phil yelled at the same time. 

“Shit! I forgot,” Barney said with wide eyes. “Zemo has a back-up plan if his buildings are under attack. They start exploding from the inside”

“.... Are you fucking kidding me mate” Hunter said with a blank expression.

“....No? Why would I kid about explosives?”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Alright chill out guys. Pietro, you got this buddy?”

Pietro grinned widely and nodded. 

“Alright, sister first”

Phil frowned, “What are you-”

With a  _ swish  _ Pietro and Wanda disappeared. A few moments later Pietro was back. 

“Hunter next”

They both were gone.

“What is going on?”

Pietro came back. 

“Phil next”

“Wait wha-”

They both left in a flurry of motion.

Barney just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, Clint grinned as the explosions got closer. 

Pietro returned, only slightly out of breath. 

“Grab Barney, I’ll meet you guys out there”

Pietro frowned, “But-”

“Go!”

“No wait Clint-”

Pietro and Barney were gone. 

Taking a deep breath, Clint turned to look at the explosions. 

Sighing, he began to run around and look for any soldiers that may be stuck in the building. 

_ Zemo may be bad, but some of these guys aren’t.  _

 

*******

Phil watched as Pietro and Barney came to a stop right in front of him. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Phil waited for Pietro to go and get Clint. 

It didn’t happen.

“...Pietro, Clint is still in there” 

Pietro looked contrite. “He said he would meet us outside”

Phil froze, “What?”

Pietro rubbed his hands up and down his thighs, “He said he would-”

“I heard you the first time Pietro.”

Pietro winced, “I am sorry”

Phil sighed and offered up an arm, which Pietro immediately stepped into. “It’s okay Pietro”

“Yeah kid,” Barney said from behind them. “My brother does what he wants to. Always has, always will”

“Yeah mate, and we practiced this… you know it” Hunter said as he

Pietro nodded slowly, and gasped when an explosion rocked the building upwards. 

“Oh my god, what the hell was that!” Bobbi shouted as the rest of the group ran towards them. 

“The building is exploding inwards” Phil shouted back to her. 

“Where’s Clint?” Wanda asked as he stood next to them. 

Pietro, Phil, Hunter, and Barney all looked at each other. 

Phil just sighed and pointed his thumb to the building on fire. 

Everyone gasped. 

“We came all this way and you let him get blown up?!?!” Tony asked, incredulous. 

Phil shot him a glare, “I didn’t let him get blown up! I had no say in the matter”

Another explosion rocked the ground underneath him, causing everyone to cringe. 

“We need to get out of here, Clint or no Clint” Steve said quietly. 

“No! I’m not leaving without Clint!” Pietro shouted.

Phil grimaced and tightened his hold around Pietro, “We have to go Pietro. Otherwise we’re all gonna get hurt”

“No!” He shouted and tried to squirm out of Phil’s hold. Surprising everyone, Barney just scooped Pietro out of Phil’s arms and picked the boy up. “Come on kid, Clint wouldn’t want you to get hurt”

Pietro sobbed and soon Wanda followed him. 

Phil just clenched his fists and turned to look back at the building he had last seen Clint in. 

_ I came all this way just to lose you again _

 

*******

Clint ran through the halls and prayed he would find no one. 

His prayers were not answered… Or at least they were only half-not answered. 

He did find people, but luckily they were all clatched together in one room. 

“Help!” One scrawny looking blond yelped. 

Clint held out his hands to the men, they all looked to be about his age. “I’ll get you guys out, but you need to stay calm”

Just then another explosion rocked the building. 

Several of the men yelled out in terror, which just made Clint’s job harder. 

Scratching at his hair, Clint looked around the room. 

“Is there anyway for us to get out quickly?”

The men looked at each other frantically. 

“The only thing we could find is a window, but it’s bulletproof - it’s pretty much unbreakable!!” One cried out. 

Clint frowned and jogged over to the window and looked at it.

_ How the hell am I supposed to break an unbreakable window? _

Tapping at the glass, Clint tried to see if there was any cracks around it. 

_ Nothing. Shit. _

“Oh how I wish one of those guys Zemo was helping was here. They could crack open the window!” One said to another.

Clint frowned and looked at them, “What are you talking about?”

The man gave him a small smile, “This is a lab to help men with genetic disorders. We’ve created a formula that heals them and gives them super accelerated everything. It’s kinda like Captain America’s super serum formula” 

Clint blinked, and then blinked again. “And how can they break through the window?”

“Super strength, duh” The man said with a roll of his eyes, the danger they were in obviously now far from his mind.

Clint blinked a third time. 

_ Shit. They’re right.  _

Nodding to the men, Clint turned around and punched at the window as hard as it could. 

It shattered.

_ They were right!! I just wish they hadn’t been deceived by a psychopath.  _

“Alright, everyone through the hole”

The men all gaped at each other, but didn’t question Clint as another explosion started having the ceiling crumble.

Clint helped each of the men (twenty in total) get through the window, before he got himself out. 

“Run!!” He told them as they just stood there, looking stupid. 

The men ran, and Clint hoped it was in the direction of the rest of the team. 

_ Thank god that had been the last room I had checked. That was some good motherfucking luck.  _

Running after them, Clint made sure no one got left behind. 

_ Please, please, please let the rest of the team be there.  _

 

*******

Phil and the rest of the team were loading onto the plane as quickly as the could, when they heard shouting from behind them. 

Phil frowned and turned to look, and saw about twenty young men running towards them.

“Stop! Help! Don’t go” They shouted. 

Phil looked at Steve, who nodded back at him. 

Jogging off of the hangar, Phil stopped in front of the quinjet. “Who are you guys?”

“We were trapped inside! A man saved us and told us to run” One said, out of breath.

Phil’s eyes went wide as he looked at the rest of the team, they were thinking the same thing. 

_ Could that man have been Clint? _

“Where is the man?” Phil asked quickly.

One the men gestured backwards, and the team looked quickly. 

Yes, yes there was Clint. Clint was running towards them. 

“Clint!” Several of the team cried.

Clint grinned at them and continued towards them, “Get everyone on the plane before it continues to explode!” He shouted at them.

Phil nodded and herded everyone on to the plane as Clint arrived at the hangar. Clint smiled at Phil and joined everyone else on the plane. 

Clint was immediately attacked by two very excited teenagers. 

Clint laughed and kissed both Wanda and Pietro’s heads. “Thanks for saving me guys. Now let’s get out of here!”

Phil laughed and headed up to May in the cockpit. 

 

*******

Clint was cuddling a sleeping Pietro and Wanda in his laps when the quinjet landed on top of the Avengers tower. 

The scientists had been dropped off at the airport so they could head back to their individual homes half an hour ago, and the SHIELD agents  had been dropped off at the base. 

Only Clint, Barney, and the rest of the Avengers team were left. 

Steve and Bucky walked over to wake the twins up, and Clint waved them off. 

Wrapping his arms tight around them, Hawk stood up and began walking down the hangar. 

The rest of the team and Barney followed behind them as they entered the tower. 

Pepper, Betty, Darcy, and Genevieve were waiting in the kitchen.

“Thank god!” They cried. 

Genevieve stepped out towards the twins, but Clint turned away from her quickly.

He didn’t mean to be rude (yes he did), but he was better suited to get them into bed than she was. 

He ignored the rest of the team as they started to couple up again. 

_ Man, I need to get laid…  _

Laying Pietro and Wanda down in their beds, he headed back out to the living room. 

“Clint,” Phil said quietly. 

Clint shoved his hands into his pockets, “Twins are down… So I’m gonna go-”

“Go? You can’t go!” Tony said, astonished. 

Everyone else nodded in agreement. 

“Clint you’ve been through a horrible shock. You need to rest” Betty said in her calm way. 

Clint nodded, “Yeah… But I can do that in my own bed”

“No, no, no. Don’t be stupid, stay here where you have people you know around you” Natasha said with a yawn. 

“Besides, Barney is gonna stay here” Steve said as he gestured to the older Barton.

Clint looked at them and sighed, resigned. “It’s not worth it to argue”

Phil smiled at him, and Clint’s heart began to thump quickly. 

“But it’s just for the night” He continued quickly.

“We’ll see” Bruce said with a huge yawn as he led Betty to the elevator. 

Clint just rolled his eyes and led Barney to an empty floor. 

 

~

Waking up with a gasp, Clint felt his heart in his throat. 

_ Shit, I need to get the fuck out of here _

Flipping his covers off his legs, Clint rolled out of the bed and slipped back on his used clothes. 

Checking his clock, Clint was surprised to see it was only 2 in the morning. 

_ Perfect time for me to go to the nearest bar and drink until I can’t fucking think anymore.  _

Sneaking out of his bedroom, Clint kept his footsteps quiet in case Barney was having the same nightmares.

“Sir?” Jarvis asked him quietly.

Wincing, Clint paused right in front of the elevator. 

“J… Please don’t wake anyone up, I just need to get out of the tower.”

“I do not think that is a wise idea”

Clint smiled and looked up at the ceiling. “When do I ever have wise ideas at 2 AM?”

Jarvis sighed, “Please stay safe Master Clint”

Clint nodded and entered the elevator as soon as the doors opened. 

Knowing full well he probably won’t stay safe, Clint exited the tower five minutes later and walked to the closest bar.

Reaching the run down hovel within minutes, Clint pulled out his some cash that he was lucky (he was getting real lucky lately) was still in his closet. 

Sitting down at the bar, Clint ordered some tequila and told the man to keep them coming. 

 

~

Clint woke up the next morning with an arm wrapped around his chest. 

Groaning softly, Clint rubbed at his forehead and promised himself he would never do this again. 

“Good morning” A husky voice said over his shoulder. 

Clint turned his head and gave the man in the bed with him a small smile.

“Uh… Good morning”

The man chuckled, “You remember nothing from last night, do you?”

Clint laughed, “Not a thing. Sorry”

The man shrugged and sat up, “Not a problem. Just means I got to give you something to remember this time”

Clint blinked, but didn’t say no to what happened next, even as his phone began to beep again and again. 

 

*******

Phil frowned the next morning when Clint was the only one not at the breakfast table.

“Where’s Clint?” He asked Barney.

Barney sighed, “No clue. Jarvis said he left at like 2AM last night and hasn’t come back”

_ Well shit _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	13. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens the morning after the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this took so long, and sorry this kinda sucks. But heeeeyyyy, Sam is finally here!

Phil crossed his arms and paced back and forth. “And he hasn’t contacted you yet?”

Barney groaned and leaned back against the couch. “For the 12 billionth time,  _ no _ ”

Robby pulled on Phil’s pants, “Is Clint mad at us?”

Phil did a double-take, “Oh honey what would make you think that?”

“He barely spends any time with us anymore!” Julianna chimed in, the rest of the kids shouting their two-cents. 

Phil grimaced and looked at the rest of the adults who had been silent thus far. 

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you though” Barney said, which shocked everyone. 

Phil watched in awe as Barney stood up from the couch and got on his knees in front of the kids. “Sometimes when adults get new jobs, they can get extremely busy. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, or that they’re mad at you. Do you guys think that when your parents go on all of their Avenger missions?”

The kids shook their heads. 

“Then don’t think that about Clint” The older man said gently. “Trust me, okay?”

The kids all nod. 

“Okay” They said in unison. 

Barney smiled, and the rest of the adults sighed in relief. 

“Okay but where is Clint?”

“Tony I will murder you”

“Jesus older Clint, just asking a question”

 

*******

Clint took a sip of his coffee. “Thanks for the pick-me-up”

The man “call me Sam” just grinned. “Can’t send you home half-asleep, now can I? What kind of one night stand would I be then?”

Clint snorted, “A normal one?”

Sam waved his hand, “Normal is overrated”

Clint laughed and took a huge gulp of his coffee. “Preaching to the choir on that one buddy”

Sam’s eyebrow went up, “Oh?”

Clint finished off the coffee off and set the mug down in the sink. “You ever heard of the Avengers?”

Sam hummed, “Those dudes that save the world?”

Clint nodded, “Yeah. I’m the one with the bow”

Sam blinked, “Shit…. That’s so cool”

Clint laughed, “Yeah I guess you could say that…. What about you? What do you do?”

Sam shrugged and crossed his arms. “Former Air Force. Work at the VA now as a councillor”

“Air force? That’s cool as hell”

Sam hummed, a little distracted. “Yeah it was…”

Clint grinned, “Okay then. I’ll get out of your hair”

Sam laughed, “Have a good day man”

Clint smiled and started to walk to the door, “I left you my phone number Sam. Don’t hesitate to call”

“And don’t you hesitate to stop on by whenever” Sam called back to Clint before the blond exited the home. 

 

*******

Barney looked up as Clint tripped into the apartment later that afternoon.

“Bro, where have you been?!?”

Clint flopped onto the couch and sighed happily. “One night stand bro”

“...Ew. Ew.  _ Ewwwwww. _ ”

Clint snorted and hit Barney with a pillow, “What are you? Four?”

“Yes”

Clint just rolled his eyes, “So what’s been going on?”

“Dude - the team has been freaking out about you. You couldn’t have called?” Barney said, hitting Clint with the same pillow.

“Ow! Jerk. I forgot my phone here”

Barney rolled his eyes, “You’re a moron. You need to go calm down the masses… And the kids. They think you’re mad at them”

Clint frowned, “Shit”

“Shit is right. Hop to it boy”

Clint rolled his eyes, “I’m going now”

 

*******

“Clint!” Wanda cried, the rest of the children following. 

Phil spun around and watched as 14 children of varying sizes knocked Clint Barton to the ground.

“Kids!! Get off Mr. Barton!” Gabriella shouted from her seat on the couch. 

The kids didn’t move an inch. 

Clint laughed, “Okay! Okay!! I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, but you’re squishing my insides!” 

The kids rolled off Clint and sat down next to him.

Clint sat up and smiled. “What a way to get welcomed home!”

Phil sighed and walked over to Clint, offering the younger man a hand up. “Where have you been?”

Clint blinked, “I’m sorry?”

“Where have you been?” Phil asked again. 

“Out” Clint said succinctly. 

Phil crossed his arms once more. “For 12 hours?”

“Yes”

Phil sighed, “Fine. Don’t talk to me”

Clint smiled, “Good. I won’t. Seeing as you have no right to ask where I was since you are neither my father, nor my direct boss. I was always not on the clock last night.”

Phil frowned as Clint winked and walked away from the common room, the children following behind him like ducklings. 

 

*******

Clint and Barney stood on opposite rooftops, bows in hand as they fired at this week’s latest alien monster attack.

“Isn’t this fun?” Clint said over the comms. “Working together again?”

“It would be more fun if we weren’t having to battle these giant…. Anteaters? Are they anteaters?” Barney replied.

“Hell if I know man, they just hired me to shoot”

Barney sighed, “You’re useless”

“Thanks. Love you too”

“Guys, can you talk less and shoot more?” Natasha said calmly. 

“You got it!” They both said at the same time. 

 

~

Bucky groaned as he fell flat on his face on the couch. “Everything is sore”

Rebecca giggled, “Mama - Papa is being silly!”

“No stupid, he’s in pain” Viktor said glumly.

“Don’t call your sister stupid” Natasha said with a sigh. 

Bucky snorted and rolled onto his back, “Everything still hurts”

Clint rolled his eyes as he passed the family on his way to the kitchen, “Suck it up buttercup. Or is that old man arthritis hitting you too hard?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes and turned his head to look at his children, “Go attack Clint for me”

“Yay!” The kids screeched as the headed for the kitchen. 

Natasha rolled her eyes and sat next to Bucky, “You are a moron”

“Thank you”

“But a moron who is also a very good spy”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed further as he sat up. “What do you want?”

Natasha smiled, “Follow Clint? I need to watch the kids”

Bucky groaned, “He’s a grown man. Let him do whatever he wants at night”

Natasha snorted, “He’s 21 and we all want to make sure he’s being safe”

Bucky sighed, “Fine. I’ll follow him, jesus”

“Thank you my love”

“You’re welcome”

 

*******

Clint knew someone was following him, but as of yet he wasn’t sure who. It was obviously one of the Avengers…. But who?

The three suspects were: Natasha, Phil, or Bucky. He was pretty sure it was Phil or Bucky, because he hasn’t spotted Nat’s red hair. 

“Why are they following me?” He muttered under his breath. 

“Hmm?” Sam asked him. 

Clint just shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Just some asshole friends of mine”

“You mean the super hero friends, or like just some normal friends?”

Clint snorted, “I have no normal friends… But yeah, the super hero ones”

Sam shook his head, “Still can’t believe you’re a superhero”

Clint laughed, “Says the man with metal wings hanging in his closet”

Sam smirked, “That’s the power of the Falcon baby”

Clint snorted, “We’re bird bros”

Sam just raised his beer glass and clinked it against Clint’s, “For life”

 

*******

Phil was on the couch with Gabriella and the rest of the team, when Bucky got home later that night. 

“Hey metallic underwear, where have you been?” Tony asked.

“Doing my wife a favor” Bucky said as he sat down at said wife’s feet. 

Natasha just smirked and patted his cheek, “So what is Clint up to?”

Phil immediately sat up straighter to pay attention to what Bucky had to say. 

Bucky rolled his eyes, “He has a boyfriend. Dude’s name is Sam… But he calls himself the Falcon, for some reason”

Phil frowned.

_ Boyfriend? Where in the hell would Clint have found the time to find a boyfriend? _

“Aw, Clint has a boyfriend” Gabriella cooed. “Young love is always the cutest”

Phil nodded slowly, barely paying attention to what the rest of the group was saying. 

“So what’s this Sam like?” Steve asked. 

Bucky shrugged, “Okay I guess. Black. Tall. Muscular, but slim. Late 20s I’m guessing, early 30s at the most.”

“He sounds cute!” Darcy shouted as Steve shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Well I hope he treats our little bird nice… Or feathers will be ruffled” Natasha said with a smirk, causing Bucky to groan. 

“You tell the worst puns woman”

“Are you okay? You kinda spaced out” Gabriella whispered. 

Phil just turned to her and smiled, nodding his head slowly. 

“I’m just… fine.”

 

*******

Clint wrapped his arms around Sam as they began to ascend into the air. 

“Holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck. Remind me to  _ never  _ ask for a lift home again!!”

Sam just laughed, “Hold on tight little bird”

“You asshoooooooollleeee!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	14. The Event in which things Shouldn't Have Happened (but they totally should have)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam drops Clint off at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm soooo sorry this took over a month to post!! I've started a new job that makes me incredibly tired in the evenings, but I'll try my hardest to pop out more chapters and get this sucker finished. But in the meantime, enjoy this short chapter!!

“Sirs, there seems to be a disturbance on the roof” Jarvis said over the loudspeaker.

Frowning, Tony sat up on the couch. “Bring up the visuals for me please J”

“Certainly sir,” The AI responded as he brought the security video onto the TV screen.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Darcy asked as she exited the kitchen.

“J says there’s a disturbance on the roof. Wanna check it out before I get suited up”

“Oh. Cool. Have fun with that”

Tony waved distractedly to Darcy as he focused on the TV screen. The security camera came into focus as Tony watched, and two figures seemed to drop down from the heavens onto Tony’s roof.

“Are these some of Thor’s buddies?” Tony asked the AI. 

“No sir, it appears to be Master Barton and a friend”

“.... Waaaaaaaat?”

The AI very carefully didn’t sigh. “It appears Master Barton has made friends with a man who has metal wings.”

“Oh….  _ Oh.  _ **_Ohhhhhhhh_ ** ”

“Sir?”

Tony waved a hand. “Cut the feed J. I got this”

“As you wish sir”

 

*******

“Well well well Clinton”

Clint sighed and turned around to face Tony. “Yes Anthony?”

Tony smiled and stepped further onto the roof. “I see your boo thang dropped you off today”

“...Boo thang? Are you serious Stark”

Tony waved a hand. “I’m hip with the kids. Don’t change the subject Barton”

Clint rolled his eyes and strolled past Tony to the door. “Sam isn’t my boyfriend, if that's what you're asking”

Tony followed. “Just your fuck buddy then?”

Clint sighed. “No. He’s just a friend”

“But you have fucked”

Clint spun around and glared at Tony. “Why are you so interested in my sex life? Is Pep not giving you any?”

Tony gave Clint a mock hurt look, “Clinton you wound me”

Clint shook his head. “Not yet. But I will if you don't knock the questions off”

“So aggressive!!” Tony called out to Clint, who ignored him and kept going.

 

*******

“So Clint's FWB dropped him off yesterday” Tony said to Phil as he entered the man’s office (without permission, like usual).

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Nice of you to knock Stark. How can I help you?”

Tony flopped onto the couch in front of Phil’s desk. “Clint’s FWB dropped him off on the roof today”

Phil blinked. “...FWB?”

“Friends With Benefits. Come on Phil, get hip with kids”

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “Stark. You are almost 50 years old. You will never be hip with the kids.”

“You changed the subject!! We were talking about Clint”

“No. You were talking about Clint, I was just trying to do paperwork”

Tony waved a hand. “Semantics! We need to talk about Clint’s FWB”

Phil sighed and set his pen down, he knew he wasn’t getting any work done for awhile. “So Clint showed up with a friend. I don’t see what the big deal is”

Tony groaned, “Phillippp. It’s not just  _ any  _ friend! It’s a  _ friend  _ with  _ benefits” _

Phil seriously thought about slamming his head into his desk, “Stark. What the fuck is a friend with benefits?”

“Oh. It’s like a fuck buddy. You know, a friend that you have fun with. A person to do the do with after playing a round of maria kart. A-”

Phil held up a hand. “I got it”

_ Do you Phil? Do you really? Clint is out there having sex with strange men and you aren’t even doing anything about it?? What kind of SO are you??  _

“But AC! You don’t even know the best part yet!!” Tony continued gleefully. 

Phil rubbed at his forehead again. “Please enlighten me so you can get the hell out of my office”

“The dude had wings”

_ What? _

“What?”

“Clint’s friend dropped him off.  _ On the roof.  _ He was flying around with metal wings!!! So  _ obviously  _ this is that Sam Falcon guy Bucky was telling us about.”

_ Oh.  _

“Oh”

“Come on Agent Agent, I was expecting a better reaction than that”

“.. Get out of my office Stark”

_ Sam Falcon.  _

“You’re no fun”

“Out”

_ Sam Falcon…. I need to do some research.  _

 

*******

Clint was sitting next to Barney in the range, sharpening their arrow tips, when Phil walked in. 

“You want me to leave?” Barney whispered softly. 

Clint shook his head, “Nah. I’m sure it’s just about work”

Standing up, Clint shoved his hands into his pockets after setting his arrows down. “Hey Coulson. Can I help you”

Phil stopped two feet from Clint. “Who’s Sam Falcon? I can’t find any information about him”

Clint froze, before his cheeks turned red with fury. “Are you trying to investigate Sam??? My friend???”

Phil nodded. “Yes. If he’s going to be around  my kids, I need to know more about him. But I can’t find a Sam Falcon anywhere on the records”

Clint’s jaw clenched, and his hands tightened in his pockets. “Firstly, his name is Sam  _ Wilson.  _ His codename is Falcon. Secondly,  _ you have no right to investigate him.  _ Thirdly, who the fuck said he was gonna be around your kids? He’s barely even been to the tower”

“I’m gonna go before this gets ugly” Barney said wisely behind them. 

Phil and Clint ignored the other man as their square off got closer. 

“He dropped you off today. That is a sign that he intends to spend more time in the tower. I can’t just let a stranger into the building when they’re gonna be around my kids”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Oh come off it Phil. You don’t care that he’s a stranger. You care that I’m actually having fun with my life and having friends outside of SHIELD and the Avengers. You didn’t give a  _ shit  _ about Barney, and he was a criminal!!”

Phil crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s not true and you know it. I don’t care that you’re out having fun. You’re 21, you should be having fun!!”

“Yeah, but not with other people. Am I right Phil? Because I remember you getting a little uppity when I didn’t come home the other night. And you haven’t been too keen about it since. So why don’t you just admit it, hmm? You don’t like that I have fun with Sam”

Phil looked away for a moment, and then looked back. “I just don’t think you should be having a relationship with a civilian”

Clint’s mouth dropped open. “And that is  _ rich  _ coming from someone who is dating their nanny!!”

“That’s different!”

Clint laughed, “Yeah it is. Because Gabriella _has always_ been a civilian. Sam wasn’t. Sam used to be in the Air Force. Still works at the VA hospital as a councillor. So your argument is invalid. So Phillip, you got any other reasons why I shouldn’t see Sam? Hmm? Well do you???”

Clint and Phil stared at each other, both almost shaking in anger. 

Suddenly, with what seemed to be a lightning strike from above, the two were clutching one another in a passionate embrace. Their mouths were infused together, as their tongues dueled for dominance. 

But all too soon, it was over. 

Phil ripped himself from Clint, almost pushing the younger man over in his haste to get away. 

“Shit… I shouldn’t have done that…. I need to go”

Clint just pressed a hand to his lips as Phil practically ran from the room. 

“... J?”

“Yes Master Barton?”

“Delete the video please”

“No problem sir”

Smiling to himself, Clint went back to his arrowtips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	15. The Chapter Where Things Get Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoops I took a long time

Clint and Phil were incredibly awkward around her for several weeks after the incident. 

Everyone was confused to say the least, but whenever they asked what the deal was, they were quickly shut down. 

“This is so confusing,” Tony said to Pepper in bed one night. 

Pepper hummed and nodded, “I agree. But I also know better than to get involved in that UST”

Tony blinked, “UST?”

“Unresolved Sexual Tension” Pepper supplied. 

“... Oh”

“Mhmm” Pepper hummed again as she curled against Tony’s chest. “Okay. Bed time now”

Tony frowned, “But-”

“ _ Bed time now” _

“Alright. Goodnight”

“Goodnight”

 

*******

Clint ducked behind Bobbi and tried his best to hide behind her small frame. 

“Uhm… Hello?” Bobbi said with an eyebrow raise.

“Phil alert at 2 o’clock”

Bobbi just stared at the closest security camera like she was in an episode of ‘The Office’. “You must be joking? It’s been literally a month since Phil kissed you. Kiss him again,  _ or get over it” _

Clint looked up at Bobbi and pouted. “But I caaaan’t. He’s the love of my life, but he has a girlfrieenndddd”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem then mate” Hunter said wisely as he stuffed a cheeseburger into his mouth. 

“You’re disgusting” Bobbi said with a nose wrinkle. 

“And yet you love me anyway”

“Unfortunately”

“Guys this is fascinating - OHMYGOD HE SAW ME”

“Subtle” Bobbi and Hunter said at the same time as Clint literally sprinted out of the cafeteria. 

 

*******

Phil sighed as Clint ran out of the cafeteria as soon as they had locked eyes. 

“Do I want to know?” Nick said behind his back. 

Phil sighed, “It’s… complicated”

“Well you need to un-complicate it before your next mission or it will be a cluster fuck”

Phil hummed, “Thanks Marcus for your input”

“You’re welcome”

 

*******

Clint hid in his room on base until he was sure Phil had gone home for the day. If he hadn’t, Clint was sure Phil would have tried to corner him again so they could ‘talk’.

Clint didn’t want to talk. 

Clint wanted to hide and not ruin the kiss they shared. 

He didn’t care how awkward it was for them. 

“You’re a pansy” Wanda said as she broke into his room, Pietro practically skipping in behind her. 

“And you’re breaking and entering”

Wanda smirked and sat down on Clint’s bed. “It’s only breaking and entering if I broke something”

Clint’s eyes narrowed. “You watch too much TV”

“We don’t watch TV” Pietro said with a smirk. 

Clint’s eyes narrowed further. “Well you’re obviously not learning this stuff from the Avengers and co…. Hunter? Nah, he would have told me about it…. You guys are on tumblr, aren’t you? I fucking knew it! That site will ruin your innocence…”

Wanda and Pietro looked at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. Clint sooned joined in, and the three ended up on Clint’s bed in a giggle fit. 

“You’re still a pansy” Wanda said after their jollity ended. 

“Why?” Clint asked. 

“Because you’re letting Phil slip through your fingers” Pietro said wisely as he stared up at Clint’s ceiling.

“No I’m not… Phil has a girlfriend!” Clint defended his actions quickly. 

“Then he’s a pansy too” Wanda shot back.

Clint sighed, “You guys don’t understand…. It’s…”

“Complicated?” Pietro supplied. 

“Yeah”

Wanda just rolled her eyes. “Then uncomplicate it”

Clint shook his head. “Not that simple guys”

“Well then I hope you enjoy being alone with him for two weeks. Alone and purely platonic. Sounds like a great time to me” Pietro said with a laugh.

Clint groaned “Don’t remind me”

 

*******

Phil watched Clint’s knee bounce up and down, his heel tapping against the ground with each bounce down. 

He’d been doing that since they had entered the quinjet over six hours ago. 

Phil could handle a lot, but the persistent noise was grading against his self-control. 

It was slowly causing Phil to go insane, and insane Phil Coulson was something  _ no one  _ wanted to see. 

“Clint. Please stop for the love of god” Phil burst out 20 minutes later after he could stand it no longer. 

Clint froze and slowly looked at Phil. “...Whoops?”

Phil sighed, “No problem… I just…”

Clint blushed, his eyes looking down to the floor. “Sorry”

Phil shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”

Clint nodded and turned his head away.

_ This mission is gonna be long.  _

 

*******

Clint laid on the rooftop for his sixth consecutive hour. He couldn’t feel his ribs, and his fingers felt numb. Clint wouldn’t consider this the greatest time he’s ever had on a mission… But shit, at least it wasn’t the worst. 

“Anything yet specialist?” Phil asked quickly over the comms for what seemed about the billionth time. 

“Nope. I think we may need to call it quits and get back to the safehouse” 

Phil sighed. “I concur. I’m calling it, get off the roof and down to the van”

Clint hummed and slowly began to dismantle his bow. “You got it boss. Be down in two”

“Copy that”

Clint clicked off his comm and began the descent down the side of the building to the van Phil was sitting in. 

“Okay let’s boogie” Clint said as he sat in his seat. 

The car didn’t move.

Clint turned to look at Phil. “What? We outta gas or something?”

Phil shook his head, “The side of the building Clint? Really?”

Clint shrugged, “Quickest way down. Why do stairs, when you can do bricks?”

“You’re going to give me an ulcer”

Clint snorted. “Pretty sure Stark already gave you one”

“Well you’re not helping”

Clint just shrugged his shoulders again, no comeback coming to mind. 

Phil sighed once more, but started the vehicle and drove to the safehouse. 

 

*******

Phil groaned as they stood inside the safehouse. 

“One bed?!?!? No way!!!” Clint exclaimed (loudly, Phil might add). 

Phil rubbed at his forehead. “No I lied earlier.  _ This  _ is gonna give me an ulcer”

Clint groaned and Phil sighed again. 

“I guess I’ll take the floor” Clint said as he dropped his bag to the ground. 

:Now way in hell Barton! I’ll take the floor” Phil said, also setting his bag down. 

Clint needed to be in tip top shape every day until this mission was over, no way would that happen if he slept on the floor. 

“No way Phil. I know your back goes out if you sleep on anything hard.  _ I’ll  _ take the floor”

Phil rolled h is eyes. “I used to sleep on the floor all the time. I  _ am  _ a SHIELD agent you know”

Clint shook his head. “No. No deal. I’ll sleep on the floor”

“No I am”

Phil and Clint ended up nose to nose. 

“Give it up Phil! I’m sleeping on the floor!” Clint yelled. 

“Like hell you are!” Phil yelled back.

Clint sighed and wiped his face. “Then I guess we’re at an impasse”

Phil stepped back. “I guess we are”

Phil watched as Clint gulped and looked at the floor before mumbling. 

“Sorry, what was that?”

Clint looked up at Phil. “Maybe we should share the bed”

Phil blinked. “Uh… sure”

_ This was gonna be interesting.  _

 

*******

Clint woke up, and his immediate thought was that he had a woody. 

“Fuck me” he mumbled. 

Turning his head, Clint breathed a sigh of relief that Phil was still snoring away.

Rolling out of the bed slowly, Clint kept checking to make sure he didn’t wake Phil up. Sharing a kiss then hiding from each other for weeks was one thing. Phil feeling his erection was a whole other thing. A whole other thing Clint  _ definitely  _ didn’t want to deal with. 

Finally escaping the beds clutching, Clint hurried into the tiny bathroom so he could deal with his… issue. 

“Oh fuck yeah” he mumbled as soon as he got his stiffy out of his pajama bottoms. 

 

*******

Phil woke up, and cursed under his breath when he realized he was hard. 

“Fuck me” he hissed. 

Slowly turning his head, Phil let himself relax when he noticed that Clint wasn’t in the bed. 

“Thank fuck he didn’t see or feel my hard-on”

They had been struggling around each for weeks since their kiss… a hard-on from Phil would only make things ten times worse. 

Phil couldn’t deal with ten times worse. 

He could barely deal with ten times less. 

Rolling out of bed, Phil wondered where Clint went.

His search ended moments later when he heard the moan. 

“Oh fuck yeah Phil” He heard Clint moan from inside the bathroom. 

Phil immediately blushed like a schoolboy and hurried from the room. 

 

*******

This pattern continued for the next several days. 

However, depending on who woke up first, the other would depart quickly upon hearing their moans in the bathroom. 

The behavior quickly escalated when they both found out their extraction would be delayed by three days. 

“This is bullshit” Clint groaned. 

Phil rolled his eyes, “You’ve said that already. Several times in fact”

“But I’m bored” Clint whined. 

Phil sighed, “Then do something”

“There’s nothing to do”

Phil shrugged. “Not my problem”

Clint turned onto his stomach. “Wish Sam was here. Wouldn’t be bored then”

That was the moment that Phil snapped. 

He was on top of Clint, turning the younger man over before he could blink. 

“Phil?” Clint said with a confused frown. 

“Shut up Clint” Phil responded as he closed the distance between the two of them.

 

******

Clint stared at the ceiling. 

_ Holy fuck I just had sex with Phil. _

 

*******

Phil stared at the wall.

_ Oh god… I just had sex with Clint  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	16. The One where Clint falls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Phil are back from their mission, things are still awkward.

Clint and Phil were incredibly awkward around her for several weeks after the incident. 

Everyone was confused to say the least, but whenever they asked what the deal was, they were quickly shut down. 

“This is so confusing,” Tony said to Pepper in bed one night. 

Pepper hummed and nodded, “I agree. But I also know better than to get involved in that UST”

Tony blinked, “UST?”

“Unresolved Sexual Tension” Pepper supplied. 

“... Oh”

“Mhmm” Pepper hummed again as she curled against Tony’s chest. “Okay. Bed time now”

Tony frowned, “But-”

“ _ Bed time now” _

“Alright. Goodnight”

“Goodnight”

 

*******

Clint ducked behind Bobbi and tried his best to hide behind her small frame. 

“Uhm… Hello?” Bobbi said with an eyebrow raise.

“Phil alert at 2 o’clock”

Bobbi just stared at the closest security camera like she was in an episode of ‘The Office’. “You must be joking? It’s been literally a month since Phil kissed you. Kiss him again,  _ or get over it” _

Clint looked up at Bobbi and pouted. “But I caaaan’t. He’s the love of my life, but he has a girlfrieenndddd”

“Well that sounds like a personal problem then mate” Hunter said wisely as he stuffed a cheeseburger into his mouth. 

“You’re disgusting” Bobbi said with a nose wrinkle. 

“And yet you love me anyway”

“Unfortunately”

“Guys this is fascinating - OHMYGOD HE SAW ME”

“Subtle” Bobbi and Hunter said at the same time as Clint literally sprinted out of the cafeteria. 

 

*******

Phil sighed as Clint ran out of the cafeteria as soon as they had locked eyes. 

“Do I want to know?” Nick said behind his back. 

Phil sighed, “It’s… complicated”

“Well you need to un-complicate it before your next mission or it will be a cluster fuck”

Phil hummed, “Thanks Marcus for your input”

“You’re welcome”

 

*******

Clint hid in his room on base until he was sure Phil had gone home for the day. If he hadn’t, Clint was sure Phil would have tried to corner him again so they could ‘talk’.

Clint didn’t want to talk. 

Clint wanted to hide and not ruin the kiss they shared. 

He didn’t care how awkward it was for them. 

“You’re a pansy” Wanda said as she broke into his room, Pietro practically skipping in behind her. 

“And you’re breaking and entering”

Wanda smirked and sat down on Clint’s bed. “It’s only breaking and entering if I broke something”

Clint’s eyes narrowed. “You watch too much TV”

“We don’t watch TV” Pietro said with a smirk. 

Clint’s eyes narrowed further. “Well you’re obviously not learning this stuff from the Avengers and co…. Hunter? Nah, he would have told me about it…. You guys are on tumblr, aren’t you? I fucking knew it! That site will ruin your innocence…”

Wanda and Pietro looked at each other for a moment, before bursting out into laughter. Clint sooned joined in, and the three ended up on Clint’s bed in a giggle fit. 

“You’re still a pansy” Wanda said after their jollity ended. 

“Why?” Clint asked. 

“Because you’re letting Phil slip through your fingers” Pietro said wisely as he stared up at Clint’s ceiling.

“No I’m not… Phil has a girlfriend!” Clint defended his actions quickly. 

“Then he’s a pansy too” Wanda shot back.

Clint sighed, “You guys don’t understand…. It’s…”

“Complicated?” Pietro supplied. 

“Yeah”

Wanda just rolled her eyes. “Then uncomplicate it”

Clint shook his head. “Not that simple guys”

“Well then I hope you enjoy being alone with him for two weeks. Alone and purely platonic. Sounds like a great time to me” Pietro said with a laugh.

Clint groaned “Don’t remind me”

 

*******

Phil watched Clint’s knee bounce up and down, his heel tapping against the ground with each bounce down. 

He’d been doing that since they had entered the quinjet over six hours ago. 

Phil could handle a lot, but the persistent noise was grading against his self-control. 

It was slowly causing Phil to go insane, and insane Phil Coulson was something  _ no one  _ wanted to see. 

“Clint. Please stop for the love of god” Phil burst out 20 minutes later after he could stand it no longer. 

Clint froze and slowly looked at Phil. “...Whoops?”

Phil sighed, “No problem… I just…”

Clint blushed, his eyes looking down to the floor. “Sorry”

Phil shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”

Clint nodded and turned his head away.

_ This mission is gonna be long.  _

 

*******

Clint laid on the rooftop for his sixth consecutive hour. He couldn’t feel his ribs, and his fingers felt numb. Clint wouldn’t consider this the greatest time he’s ever had on a mission… But shit, at least it wasn’t the worst. 

“Anything yet specialist?” Phil asked quickly over the comms for what seemed about the billionth time. 

“Nope. I think we may need to call it quits and get back to the safehouse” 

Phil sighed. “I concur. I’m calling it, get off the roof and down to the van”

Clint hummed and slowly began to dismantle his bow. “You got it boss. Be down in two”

“Copy that”

Clint clicked off his comm and began the descent down the side of the building to the van Phil was sitting in. 

“Okay let’s boogie” Clint said as he sat in his seat. 

The car didn’t move.

Clint turned to look at Phil. “What? We outta gas or something?”

Phil shook his head, “The side of the building Clint? Really?”

Clint shrugged, “Quickest way down. Why do stairs, when you can do bricks?”

“You’re going to give me an ulcer”

Clint snorted. “Pretty sure Stark already gave you one”

“Well you’re not helping”

Clint just shrugged his shoulders again, no comeback coming to mind. 

Phil sighed once more, but started the vehicle and drove to the safehouse. 

 

*******

Phil groaned as they stood inside the safehouse. 

“One bed?!?!? No way!!!” Clint exclaimed (loudly, Phil might add). 

Phil rubbed at his forehead. “No I lied earlier.  _ This  _ is gonna give me an ulcer”

Clint groaned and Phil sighed again. 

“I guess I’ll take the floor” Clint said as he dropped his bag to the ground. 

:Now way in hell Barton! I’ll take the floor” Phil said, also setting his bag down. 

Clint needed to be in tip top shape every day until this mission was over, no way would that happen if he slept on the floor. 

“No way Phil. I know your back goes out if you sleep on anything hard.  _ I’ll  _ take the floor”

Phil rolled h is eyes. “I used to sleep on the floor all the time. I  _ am  _ a SHIELD agent you know”

Clint shook his head. “No. No deal. I’ll sleep on the floor”

“No I am”

Phil and Clint ended up nose to nose. 

“Give it up Phil! I’m sleeping on the floor!” Clint yelled. 

“Like hell you are!” Phil yelled back.

Clint sighed and wiped his face. “Then I guess we’re at an impasse”

Phil stepped back. “I guess we are”

Phil watched as Clint gulped and looked at the floor before mumbling. 

“Sorry, what was that?”

Clint looked up at Phil. “Maybe we should share the bed”

Phil blinked. “Uh… sure”

_ This was gonna be interesting.  _

 

*******

Clint woke up, and his immediate thought was that he had a woody. 

“Fuck me” he mumbled. 

Turning his head, Clint breathed a sigh of relief that Phil was still snoring away.

Rolling out of the bed slowly, Clint kept checking to make sure he didn’t wake Phil up. Sharing a kiss then hiding from each other for weeks was one thing. Phil feeling his erection was a whole other thing. A whole other thing Clint  _ definitely  _ didn’t want to deal with. 

Finally escaping the beds clutching, Clint hurried into the tiny bathroom so he could deal with his… issue. 

“Oh fuck yeah” he mumbled as soon as he got his stiffy out of his pajama bottoms. 

 

*******

Phil woke up, and cursed under his breath when he realized he was hard. 

“Fuck me” he hissed. 

Slowly turning his head, Phil let himself relax when he noticed that Clint wasn’t in the bed. 

“Thank fuck he didn’t see or feel my hard-on”

They had been struggling around each for weeks since their kiss… a hard-on from Phil would only make things ten times worse. 

Phil couldn’t deal with ten times worse. 

He could barely deal with ten times less. 

Rolling out of bed, Phil wondered where Clint went.

His search ended moments later when he heard the moan. 

“Oh fuck yeah Phil” He heard Clint moan from inside the bathroom. 

Phil immediately blushed like a schoolboy and hurried from the room. 

 

*******

This pattern continued for the next several days. 

However, depending on who woke up first, the other would depart quickly upon hearing their moans in the bathroom. 

The behavior quickly escalated when they both found out their extraction would be delayed by three days. 

“This is bullshit” Clint groaned. 

Phil rolled his eyes, “You’ve said that already. Several times in fact”

“But I’m bored” Clint whined. 

Phil sighed, “Then do something”

“There’s nothing to do”

Phil shrugged. “Not my problem”

Clint turned onto his stomach. “Wish Sam was here. Wouldn’t be bored then”

That was the moment that Phil snapped. 

He was on top of Clint, turning the younger man over before he could blink. 

“Phil?” Clint said with a confused frown. 

“Shut up Clint” Phil responded as he closed the distance between the two of them.

 

******

Clint stared at the ceiling. 

_ Holy fuck I just had sex with Phil. _

 

*******

Phil stared at the wall.

_ Oh god… I just had sex with Clint  _

 

CHAPTER WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:

“You did fucking not!” Bobbi burst out four days later when Clint was finally home. 

Clint groaned and covered his face. “I fucking did”

“Mate.. you’re fucked” Hunter added wisely.

Clint shot him a look, before nodding slowly. “I know”

Bobbi sighed and patted Clint on the shoulder. “At least you’re not a chick that could get pregnant. That would suck”

Clint groaned, “I hate you:

Bobbi and Hunter just laughed.

 

*******

Phil stared at Gabriella as she slept beside him. 

Gabriella had tried to instigate sex earlier in the evening, but her touch just made Phil’s skin crawl. He had pretended to have a headache, and Gabriella called quits soon after. 

Rolling onto his side, Phil stared at the wall instead of her. 

_ I had sex with Clint three days ago… Now Gabriella’s touch repulses me…. _

Just thinking about Gabriella touching him made Phil wince. The only person Phil wanted touching him, at least in that respect, was Clint. 

_ I’m so fucking screwed.  _

 

*******

Clint stood in the gym and watched himself bench press 5 times the weight he had used to, and with ease. 

_ Super-serum rules bro… But I can’t let anyone but Barney know about this… Or I’ll be just another experiment _

Clint was still trying to figure out how the experiment Zemo had performed on him had affected his body. 

Well, Clint was figuring that out when he wasn’t worrying about the whole Phil issue.

And there definitely was an issue. 

“Clint?”

Clint dropped his weights and turned to the source of the noise. 

“Hey Wanda, what’s up?”

Wanda looked at him with narrowed eyes. “You’re lifting an awful lot”

Clint gave her an innocent look, “That’s what happens when you eat your veggies kiddo”

“Bullshit”

Clint just raised an eyebrow, “Such language. Who taught you that, Stark?”

“You”

“Oh right”

Wanda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Where’s Pietro? I thought you guys were conjoined at the hip lately”

“Track meet”

“Ah”

Wanda nodded. “I would have gone, but I wanted to talk to you instead”

Clint smiled, “Well you’re here… So talk”

Wanda gave him a look. “I want to know what’s going on Clint”

Clint froze for a moment, before smiling. “What do you mean? Nothing is going on…”

“Yes there is! Stop lying!” Wanda shouted. 

Clint held up his hands, “Hey, hey, hey. No need for shouting.”

Wanda clenched her fists, “All the adults still treat us like children, you’re supposed to be different Clint! Stop lying to me, and tell me the truth!”

Clint sighed and rubbed his forehead, “The truth about what?”

Wanda looked at him, “What happened to you at Zemo’s compound? I know something did”

Clint looked at her for a moment, before sighing once more. “I’ll talk to you about it… But not here and not now, okay? Meet me later at my apartment, and you can bring Pietro too… But no one else, alright?”

Wanda looked at him for a moment, before nodding slowly. “Alright”

 

*******

Phil was in the gun range when Clint showed up with his bow. 

Watching him out of his peripherals, Phil could feel his heart rate going faster, his breath becoming shorter. 

_ Fuck me! What the hell is wrong with me? _

_ Surely not a heart attack… _

Expelling a big breath as Clint set his stuff down, Phil immediately turned all his focus back to his targets before Clint could see how much he distracted him. 

“Nice weather we’re having” Clint said moments later, startling Phil and causing his shot to go wide. 

Phil frowned. “What?” He asked. 

Clint smirked and looked at him. “I  _ said  _ nice weather we’re having”

Phil blinked, since outside it was raining cats and dogs.

“Huh?”

“Nice weather”

“You’ve said that already… twice.”

“I know but you seemed confused”

“I am”

Clint rolled his eyes. “You’re bad at small talk Coulson”

“So are you!”

“At least I was  _ trying,  _ Phillip”

Phil scoffed, “Not very well”

Clint crossed his arms over his chest. “You know what? You can just bite me”

Phil set down his gun, his heart beating faster as he started to close the distance between their bodies. “Maybe I will”

“Good, do it”

“Fine”

“Fine”

 

~

Phil had to erase the security footage.

 

*******

Okay.

Clint definitely had  _ not  _ planned on having sex with Phil again. 

He really  _ had  _ just been trying to make small talk with the older man, you know, get them back to some sort of normal. 

But,  _ of course,  _ that plan went out the window. 

_ Damn Phil and his sexiness.  _

_ Fucking sex appeal.  _

_ Dammit.  _

Now Clint felt like an ass, and like ‘the other woman’. Which wasn’t something Clint had ever aspired to be. 

Yeah, he wanted Phil. That was undeniable, ask anyone. 

He wanted Phil more than anything in the world. 

But he didn’t want to do that while Phil was dating someone else… It just wasn’t fair. 

_ Damn sex appeal.  _

 

~

Clint shook his head again. “No way in hell”

“Come on punk,” Barney said with a sigh. “Please stay at the tower with me to celebrate my birthday”

“Why can’t we celebrate at my apartment?” Clint responded with a whine. 

“Because it’s  _ my  _ birthday you twerp!” Barney snapped back with an eye roll. 

Clint pouted for a millisecond, before agreeing. “Okay…. But  _ only  _ because it’s your birthday and I don’t like being selfish”

Barney grinned. “Awesome…. Oh, and I promise I won’t let you have sex with Phil…. For the third time”

“Asdfghj! Barney,  **_shut up!!”_ **

Barney laughed and clapped Clint on the shoulder. 

 

*******

Phil stared at Gabriella. 

“So what are you saying?” She asked slowly. 

Phil sighed, “Gabby… Gabriella…. I just don’t think this is gonna work out”

“Why???”

“To be honest? I… I’ve met someone else, and I don’t want to hurt you by cheating on you”

“Oh”

Phil grimaced at Gabriella’s blank stare.

“Now this will in  _ no way  _ effect your employment with-”

“It was Barton, wasn’t it” Gabriella cut him off. 

“What do you mean?”

“You fucked Barton… That’s why you’re breaking up with me… right?”

Phil blinked, shocked at Gabriella’s use of profanity when she had seemed so dead-set against it/

“Well….”

“I knew it!” She burst out. “I knew it was that little brat!”

Phil’s gaze turned icy. He was expecting some backlash from the other woman, which would have been fine. But what wasn’t fine was any ill treatment of Clint, whether the younger man was there or not. “Gabriella I’d suggest you watch your tone”

“Like hell I will! I fucking  _ knew  _ he would ruin everything! Jesus Christ since day one he’s all I ever heard about from anybody. ‘Clint this-’ and ‘Clint that-’. Ugh! It’s disgusting!! It’s disgusting how much you all love that low-life criminal hick. And it’s even worse you let his low-life, hick, criminal,  _ zombie  _ of a brother live here too!”

Phil froze as she spoke, nobody had ever disclosed that information to Gabriella - not ever. “Where did you learn this information from?”

Gabriella rolled her eyes. “God, is that all you ever think about? I can tell when you’re putting on your ‘Agent Coulson’ face you know”

“Gabriella. Where. Did. You. Learn. That.  Information?” Phil asked again, slower and sterner this time.

“It doesn’t matter  _ where  _ I learned it Phil! It doesn’t matter at all because I quit!”

Phil blinked as Gabriella stormed out of the apartment. 

Pulling out his phone, Phil quickly dialed Fury.

“Marcus? We may have a problem…”

“Give me the details Cheese”

 

*******

Clint stared at Barney. 

Barney stared back.

“3….2….1…” Clint counted down.

“Go!” Barney shouted.

Quickly grabbing the shot glasses in front of them, Clint and Barney slammed them down quickly. 

“Oh god I got barbeque sauce” Clint said with a gag.

“Hell yeah you did! And  _ I  _ got Dr. Pepper!!” Barney crowed. 

Clint grimaced, “Why did we come up with this game? This is terrible”

“It’s only terrible because you keep losing”

“You need to shut your whore mouth Charles”

“Make me Clinton”

“Boys, boys, boys! Come now, no need for full name calling!” Tony shouted out to them as he entered the kitchen.

“Sure thing,  _ Anthony” _

Tony gasped and turned to look at them, “You know this means war”

“Bring it on old man!” Clint said as he slid a shot glass (which could either be fruit punch smoothie or tomato paste) towards him.

Tony glared at the glass and picked it up slowly. 

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” Barney and Clint chanted. 

Tony quickly gulped it down, and then grimaced. “That tomato sauce is crap”

“What in the hell are you guys doing?” Phil asked with a sigh.

Clint turned and gave him an awkward smile, “Liquid roulette?”

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose, “I will never understand the younger generation”

“Well that’s good, any reason you joined us on the common floor bossorino?” Barney asked as he leaned back in his chair.

Phil winced, “Actually I was wondering if I could borrow Clint for a moment?”

“Sure. You gonna have sex with him again?”

“BARNEY!”

“I FUCKING KNEW IT, BARNES OWES ME A TWENTY”

“No I’m not, I just need to talk to him”

Barney chuckled and waved a hand. “Go on short stuff, I’ve already beaten you at this game enough for the night. Stark, you wanna tap in?”

“Hell yeah”

Clint sighed and stood up from his chair to go follow Phil. “So what’s up?”

Phil shook his head, “Not here…. Let’s go to the roof”

“Uh… Okay”

 

~

Clint walked onto the roof and stopped when he was close to the edge. 

“So what do you want to talk about?” Clint asked.

“Oh my dear Clinton, how naive you can be”

Clint gasped and turned around. 

 

*******

Phil walked into the kitchen, “Where’s Clint?”

Barney and Tony looked up at him with a frown. 

“What do you mean where’s Clitn? You just took him up to the roof…” Barney said with a frown.

“No I didn’t” Phil said slowly.

Tony frowned, “But-”

“Shit” 

The three men ran out of the kitchen.

 

*******

“Zemo?! But… How…”

“Simple cloning device Barton. Even your SHIELD has some. But that’s against the point” Zemo said, still wearing Phil’s face.

Clint’s jaw clenched. “How did you get in? Only classified personnel can get in”

Zemo smiled and gestured to the shadows, where Gabriella walked out with a smirk.

“... You must be joking”

“No joke” Zemo said as he closed the distance between them. “Otherwise I would be laughing”

Clint sighed, “Of course…. So what, you gonna kidnap me for some more experiments?”

Zemo leered, “Oh no.”

“Then what-”

Zemo pushed at Clint’s chest, and then he was in free fall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	17. Bad to Good to Bad to Good to Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go pretty good for the guys for about a paragraph and a half, until a SUDDEN CLIFFHANGER APPEARS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Aaayyy I got it done in under a month, go me!

_ Stupid choice Barton, being so close to the goddamn edge. Rookie mistake. _

Clint felt like he was watching himself fall from the rooftop. 

It was a little unnerving, he hadn’t had an out of body experience before. 

Clint watched himself fall and fall, his body curled into a ball. 

_ Has my butt always been that big? No wait. Focus. Find a way to stop yourself from falling dumbass.  _

Thinking real hard, Clint went from out of body, to in body. 

Gasping, Clint looked up at the rooftop, and watched it get farther away. 

_ Okay, how can I stop this free fall? No matter what I do this is gonna hurt… _

Extending his body out a little bit, Clint spied the side of the building. 

_ Maybe if I grab one of the railings from a balcony? That should stop the fall… Yeah, that’s probably my only option.  _

Twisting his body in the sky, Clint reached his arms out and grabbed the next railing he passed by. His weighty kept going down, wrenching his shoulders out of their sockets. 

_ Mother fucker that hurt! _

Gasping as his vision went blurry, Clint gripped the railing harder in his palms and swung his body up and over the railing. 

When his feet hit the balcony floor, Clint’s knees crumbled. 

“Oh god, holy fuck, holy shit” He panted out. 

 

*******

Phil sprinted onto the roof, just in time to watch Clint drop off the roof. 

“No!!!” He screamed. 

Phil looked up and saw Gabriella with Zemo. 

“You” He spat. 

Zemo smirked, “You’re too late Phillip. He’s already gone”

Phil’s brain shut off, and till his dying day he will never remember what happened next. 

 

~

“Phillip! That is enough friend, we must leave them be”

Phil blinked and turned to find Thor removing him from Zemo and Gabriella. 

“They are unconscious, your job is over. Please stop” 

Phil looked down at the unconscious forms and grimaced, “I may have gone overboard”

Thor nodded, “With good reason. But anymore, you will be no better than them. Now come, Clinton is in need of medical assistance”

Phil gasped, “He’s alive?”

Thor smiled, “Of course. He caught himself against a railing and swung himself to safety. But we need to hurry”

Phil nodded and looked back at the two forms of the roof. “Well-”

“SHIELD agents are on their way. They will deal with these two. Now come, Philip”

Phil sighed and nodded, “Okay. Let’s go”

 

*******

Clint took a deep breath, “Okay… Just do it”

Barney sighed, “This is gonna hurt like a bitch”

“Already does. Just get it over with birthday boy”

Barney rolled his eyes, “Alright. On the count of 3. 1...2…”

Clint took a deep breath and yelped when Barney wrenched his shoulders back before 3. 

“You son of a bitch! You liar!”

Barney laughed, “It was easier than you waiting for the 3”

Clint groaned and slowly moved his shoulders, “Still a son of a bitch”

“Already knew that punk. But at least you’re shoulders are on the right way now”

“Yeah…. Thanks”

“No problem. You gonna tell me what happened?”

Clint grimaced, “It was Zemo… And Phil’s girlfriend”

Barney took a deep breath in, “Shit son”

Clint nodded, “Yep… Zemo used a cloning device of Phil’s face to get into the building”

Barney hummed, “That makes sense. Though I kinda already guessed that when Phil came into the room right after not-Phil. Poor guy freaked out, went after you and everything”

Clint gasped and looked up at Barney. “Are you saying Phil went up to the roof?”

“Yes?”

“Barn! Phil could be in trouble,  _ right now” _

“Oh shit you’re right. Let’s go!”

Clint jumped out of his seat, and the two brothers raced to Phil’s aid. 

 

*******

Phil walked with Thor down the hall, when two Barton whirlwinds slammed into them - causing all four men to fall into a heap.

“Jesus” Phil said with a gasp. 

“Phil! You’re alright!” Clint yelped before pressing his lips firmly against Phil’s.

Phil froze for a moment at the PDA, before melting into the kiss with wild abandon. 

“Are they well?” Phil heard Thor say to Barney in the background. 

“Yeah… We should probably leave though, before things get any more interesting”

“Yes, indeed”

Phil heard the two leave the hallway, before Clint pulled out of the kiss. 

“Wow” Phil said softly. 

_ Real articulate Coulson.  _

Clint blushed. “Sorry… I was worried”

“About what?”

“You went out onto the roof after me… I was afraid they had hurt you like they tried to hurt me”

Now it was Phil’s turn to blush. Rolling his eyes to cover up his embarrassment, Phil cleared his throat before speaking. “Actually it was very much the other way around”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Badass Coulson to the rescue, huh?”

Phil chuckled “Pretty much”

Clint moved away reluctantly, and Phil was able to sit up. 

“We should… uh… Probably move” Phil said after a moment. 

“Yeah… Gotta go back to Barney’s birthday party”

“Right.. Right.. Gotta go get the kids anyway”

“Yeah…”

“Bye”

“Bye”

Clint and Phil stood up and began to walk in separate directions. 

Frowning, a thought occurred to Phil.

“Clint?”

Clint turned around, “Yeah?”

“Are you alright? You were pushed off the roof, maybe you should go to med-”

“Already did. Everything thing is a-okay boss” Clint said with a smile. 

Phil nodded, but that thought stuck in the back of his head. 

_ Something’s not adding up.  _

 

*******

Despite the kiss on the floor and Gabriella’s arrest, thing were still quite awkward between Clint and Phil. 

It was like they had spent so much time spinning around each other, that they didn’t know how to finally stop and notice the other. 

It was, frankly, the most annoying thing anybody who knew the two of them had witnessed. 

Even the children noticed something was off, but were never too tuned in enough to ask what was wrong. 

“Okay Clint, spill the beans” Wanda said too Clint firmly. 

Clint sighed and leaned back on his bed. “Spill the beans about what exactly?”

“Everything would be a good start” Pietro chimed in happily. 

“Ugh. You guys are annoying”

“Stop stalling”

“ _ Fine.  _ It all started when I got kidnapped by Baron Zemo…”

“Your UST with Coulson certainly didn’t start there”

“Shut up Pietro and let me tell my story”

“Shutting up, shutting up”

 

~

“That is so cool” Wanda said after Clint had finished. 

Clint shot her a look, “No it really isn’t”

Wanda rolled her eyes. “Yes your problems with Coulson are tragic, but  _ come on  _ you now have super powers! You are well in league with the rest of the Avengers! You are even on par with us now!”

Clint scoffed, “I’ve always been better than you two,  _ without  _ powers, and you know it!”

“Never!” Pietro said dramatically with a waved fist. 

Clint rolled his eyes, “Drama King”

“You started it”

“Boys, boys - you’re both pretty. Now, back to Clint - when are you going to tell everyone?”

“How about the 5th of Never?”

Wanda frowned, “Clint… I do not think that is such a good idea to hide this from them”

Clint shook his head, “And have them all examining me and Barn? Have  _ SHIELD  _ examine me and Barn? It ain’t gonna happen kiddo. I won’t become an experiment again… Would you?”

Pietro and Wanda both looked at each other, sadness reflected in their eyes. 

“No… We wouldn’t” They both responded back quietly. 

“I thought so. Now come on, I’ve got a movie to watch and popcorn to eat”

Wanda sighed, and the twins flopped onto the bed next to the older man. 

 

*******

“Cheese I’m not fooling around anymore. This is getting to be ridiculous” Fury said as he stormed into Phil’s office. 

Phil looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t mind me bring in your godchildren?”

Fury rolled his eye and bent down to ruffle Robbie’s hair, the boy grinning happily. “Not that you imbecile. I’m talking about the situation with Barton”

Phil sighed, “I’m handling it Marcus”

“No you’re not. Is he guys?”

Both the kids shook their heads. 

“See?”

“That’s cheating. Robbie and Julianna will agree to anything you say because you give them sweets”

“It’s not cheating Cheese, it’s persuasion. Perfectly legal in our field of choice”

Phil sighed and leaned back in his chair, his hand coming up to rub at his face. “I’m trying… I really am, okay? But… It’s just…”

“You hired the chick that almost killed him? Also you’ve been lusting after him since day one, and it made you feel like a pedophile?”

“Well, yes.”

Fury shook his head. “You’re not responsible for the first, and the second was inevitable since Barton has a raging crush on you too. Since you both like each other, snap to it, because I’m getting tired of how annoying you both are”

Phil groaned, “I’m working on-”

“ _ Work harder and you’ll both be suspended until the UST is fixed” _

With those words, Fury winked to the kids, and walked out of Phil’s office. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Phil muttered to himself. 

“Daddy’s talking under his breath again” Julianna said to Robbie. 

“That means it must be serious” Robbie responded. 

 

*******

It was Clint who eventually bit the bullet and asked Phil out on a date. 

They went to a shady sushi restaurant in Hell’s Kitchen, which had surprisingly good food for a considerably cheap price. The two talked about nothing in particular, and then they spent the rest of the night in Clint’s bed. 

Phil woke up the next morning and made pancakes with chocolate chips (Clint’s favorite). 

It was so normal that it weirded Clint out, but not in a bad way. 

“We should have done this a long time ago” Clint said, mouth full of pancake. 

Phil chuckled, “Finish chewing your food you heathen. But yes, you’re right, we should have”

Clint smiled and swallowed his food before pecking Phil on the cheek. “Gotta get to work, and you have to get back to the kids. Still no luck on a nany?”

Phil sighed and shook his head, “None that come close to you… Maybe you should take over the hiring process”

Clint laughed, “Not in a million years buddy.”

“I was afraid you’d say that”

Clint grinned and grabbed Phil’s hand and they left the apartment. “So… Wanna hang out again tonight?”

“Definitely. But we’re going back to the tower this time”

“Deal”

  
~

It was that simple. 

Everything became simple after that. 

Clint eventually did take over the hiring process (after Phil tricked him into doing it), and found the team an older woman with no children of her own to take over as the nanny. Her name was Gertrude and she took no shit. She was a retired Army Nurse, spoke 6 languages, and could beat the shit out of you with any household utensil you could think of. Everyone loved her and she made the best snickerdoodles you’ve ever had in your entire life. 

The Avengers, Phil, Clint, Barney, and sometimes Bobbi and Hunter went on missions. 

Clint and Phil became closer and closer, which made everyone happy. 

In fact, everything was going perfect. 

Until the day the bomb went off in Times Square.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	18. Where Fury Finds Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An explosion happens. 
> 
> Clint uses his new found strength.
> 
> Fury finds ot.

The mission had been like any other… at first.

The Avengers had been called out by Fury, and with smiles on their faces - they all had headed out.

It was Phil’s birthday that day too. CLint had gotten everyone together and had set up a surprise party for later in the evening. They had even gotten ahold of Phil’s mother, and his entire family was flying over to celebrate with them.

“I just hope this mission ends before Phil’s family arrives” CLint whispered to Nat, who just hummed in return.

The Quinjet opened then, and all non-flying members of the team jumped out to land on the rooftops below. Phil, however, stayed in the quinjet at the command center instead of being on the ground in a van.

Clint was on top of the New York Times building, Barney on the building across from him. 

Phil and the Quinjet were currently circling the Avengers within the 10 block radius SHIELD had been able to block off. 

The enemy was one of an unknown quality. At first the police and local governments had believed the enemy to be underground, but had not discovered anything when searched. 

Ergo, the Avengers were called in. 

_ Whatever it is, it’s making a damn mess,  _ Clint thought to himself. 

Clint raised his bow and looked around on the ground in hopes of seeing something,  _ anything,  _ he could shoot at.

“This is boring” Barney said over the comms after ten minutes of inactivity.

“You can say that again,” Tony responded as he flew around them for the fifth time.

“This is-”

“Silence over the comms” Steve said, cutting off Barney’s sarcasm.

“Uggh” Clint moaned under his breath. 

They were gonna be in the for the long run, that much was clear.

“So much for the surprise party” He grumbled.

“So much for what?” Phil asked.

Clint jolted. “Uh… For the Sunrise Marty” Clint responded, panicked. “It’s a… new drink I wanted to try!”

“Smooth” Bucky said with a noticeable smirk. 

“Shut up Barnes”

“Right… Okay…” Phil said in response to CLint, obviou to the fact he totally didn’t believe the younger man.

Clint blushed and turned his focus back to the ground.

The scene was quiet and still for over an hour afterward.

“Coulson, I think we should call it” Natasha said with a sigh.

“I agree.” Phil said with finality. “Everyone pack up so the clean up crew can come in”

“You got it AC” Tony said with a hum. 

Clint sighed in relief, and began to break down his bow. 

_ If we all hurry, we can make it back before Phil’s family gets there _

The team members all gathered on the ground and waited as the Quinjet landed next to them.

“Come on slow-poke, you’re holding up the procession!” Barney called out to Clint. 

“How the hell you beat me down, I’ll never know” Clint grumbled as he picked up his pace. 

Packing away his bow, Clint slung it on his back and headed for the roof-top exit.”You know, if I were a bad guy- this would be the perfect time to strike” Clint said with a thoughtful hum.

“Oh my god, you’re right” Phil said with a gasp. “Everybody ru-”

Clint was thrown off his feet as an explosion rocked the foundation under his feet. 

Clint’s head knocked against the floor, turning his vision grey and his head groggy. 

Groaning, Clint took a moment to settle himself, before getting to his feet and rushing down and out of the Times building. 

Clint burst through the doors out onto the street, and stopped dead at the rubble covering…  _ everything.  _

Clint spotted nothing and no one, everything was covered from the explosion. 

His heart beating fast, Clint immediately called the explosion into SHIELD before getting to work.

_ God, why me? _

 

~

Phil thought he had died. 

Though he would finally be seeing his beloved Audrey again. 

Thought that he would be leaving behind his family, whom he loved more than anything. 

Thought that he would be dying before he could tell Clint how much he truly loved him.

Thought… Wrong. 

His breath was forced back into his body by compressions to his chest, and lips that tasted oh so familiar. 

“Come of Phil! Wake up!”

Coughing, Phil groaned and swatted Clint’s hands aside. “I’m okay” He said meekly.

“Phil! Thank god!” 

Phil smiled as Clint lifted him up into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around him.

Pulling away, Phil looked around at the scene. “Where’s SHIELD?”

“They’re… uh… On their way”

Phil frowned as he spotted the rest of the team already out of the rubble and working on unearthing the Quinjet.

“Then who the hell got us all out?”

Phil looked at Clint, who immediately blanched. 

“It was me Phil”

 

~

Clint tapped his fingers against the metal table top, his teeth grinding in anger. 

It had been 30 minutes since he had been dragged in here by some well-meaning newbie agent, and it was 30 minutes too long in Clint’s book.

Looking up at the mirror, Clint hoped he was staring at whomever was looking at him in the eye.

_ Would serve them right to make them uncomfortable, keeping me in here like a damn criminal. _

It was another 10 minutes before the door opened, and in walked Fury. 

“Hello Barton”

Clint grunted.

“Don’t be like that punk, I’m doing you a favor”

Clint raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his seat. “Making me feel like a criminal is a favor? Remind me to never ask you to babysit my children”

Fury rolled his eye and sat down, “Been there and done that Barton. You forget I’m the favorite godfather. But back to the point”

“Right. The point. You doing me a favor??”

Fury sighed. “Look. We have ten minutes for you to tell me everything before the cameras turn back on and everyone with a high enough security clearance will know you got some new mojo”

Clint froze for a moment, before he leaned forward. “Are you serious?”

“9 minutes”

Clint nodded. “I don’t really know everything….”

Fury hummed, “Tell me what you do know. What happened at Zemo’s compound?”

Clint clenched his hands, thinking about everything he had been forced to go through. “From what I can ascertain, Zemo shooted Barn and I up with some low form of the super serum formula…. But there may have been more, I’m still unsure of everything I can do now”

Fury rubbed at his chin. “Interesting… You know we’ll have to-”

“Experiment?”

“Run some tests”

Clint sighed. “That’s what I was afraid of”

Fury sighed. “If you  agree to it, they’ll be all done at Avengers tower, and under Stark’s records… Would that be better?”

Clint thought about it for a moment, before grimacing. “I really didn’t want them to know”

“Well, would you rather all of SHIELD know? The WSC know?”

Clint shook his head quickly. “No… No, Avengers it is”

Fury grunted, “That’s what I thought. Now our ten minutes are about up, get out of here before Phil Coulson breaks out of medical to get to you”

Clint rolled his eyes, “You got it boss”

“Go”

Clint stood up and booked it out of the room.

 

~

Phil glared at the doctor as she left the room. 

_ Can’t wait to get the hello out of here,  _ Phil thought to himself.

“Already planning your escape?” An amused voice asked from the ceiling. 

Phil smiled up at Clint as the younger man climbed out of the vents.

“Oh that had been planned since I was first admitted into the med-bay. I was just waiting for some back-up”

Clint raised an eyebrow as he rested his hip against Phil’s bed. “Back-up, eh?”

Phil nodded. “You… Of course”

Clint hummed, his arms crossing over his wide.

_ Who knew it was feasible to be jealous of a pair of arms? _

“Oh you want  _ me _ to spring you, huh?”

Phil nodded.  

“But you’ll never spring me?”

Phil rolled his eyes, “I never bail you out because you’re always actually hurt. I just have a minor concussion”

Clint raised an eyebrow once more, making Phil like blushing. “ _ Only  _ a minor concussion?”

“Well…. There  _ are  _ some bruises and other things… But nothing serious”

Clint sighed, and Phil hid a grin. 

_ I win.  _

“Okay, let’s go boss”

“Perfect”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	19. The Tests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barney and Clint get tested.

“Clint we both knew one day this was going to happen”

Clint grimaced. “Yeah.. But I hadn’t expected it to be so  _ soon” _

Barney rolled his eyes. “If this is your definition of soon, I would hate to see what you consider late”

Clint glared at Barney “Come on, be serious”

“Why? It’s not like we’re back at Zemo’s compound. These are our  _ friends _ ”

Clint sighed and rubbed his forehead. “You’re right… I know you’re right… Doesn’t stop my fear though”

Barney hummed. “I get that, truly I do. But would you rather Fury tell them?”

“Hell no!”

“Then let’s hop to it slow-poke, jesus”

 

*******

Phil frowned as Clint and Barney stood in front of the TV.

“Down in front Legolas and Katniss! Some of us are trying to watch a movie”

Clint rolled his eyes at Stark and shooed all the kids out of the room.

_ Okay… This  _ **_must_ ** _ be serious _

Phil watched as Clint and Barney seemed to prepare themselves for whatever they had to say.

Quickly grabbing the remote from Stark’s hand, Phil shut off the television.

“What is it?” Phil asked quietly.

“There’s something we need to tell you all…”

 

~

“This is  _ way  _ too cool!” Tony said gleefully.

Phil shook his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe-”

“That your boo thang and his brother are mini super soldiers? Neither can !” Tony said once again with glee in his tone.

Phil looked over at Clint. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”

Clint looked down at the floor dejectedly, making Phil’s heart clench in his chest.

“I was afraid” He mumbled.

“Of us?” Natasha asked quietly.

“Of the experiments”

“Oh” The room seemed to say collectively.

They all understood experiments...Some more than others.

Taking a deep breath, Phil wrapped his arms around Clint and reached a hand out for Barney, who took it gratefully.

“We’ll make sure everything will be okay”

Clint looked up into Phil’s eyes and smiled. “I know”

 

******

Robbie giggled as Clint threw him in the air for the third time.

“Again! Again!!”

Clint chuckled and caught the boy and cuddled him to his chest, “Not right now kiddo. It’s bedtime, and you know it”

Robbie pouted and climbed down out of Clint’s arms. “You’re too smart for me Clint”

Clint ruffled Robbie’s hair, “Sometimes I think it’s the other way around buddy. Go on and get ready for bed before your dad has a cow”

“Okay Clint!”

Clint smiled as the boy ran off, his smile widening as he felt two arms slip around his waist. Pressing his back against Phil’s chest, Clint turned his head to press a kiss to Phil’s chin. “Hey”

“Hey” Phil said with a smile. 

Clint turned in Phil’s arms and wrapped his arms around the older man’s shoulders. “What are you doing up here so soon? I thought you had another hour or two of work”

Phil smiled, “I got it done quicker than I thought.”

“Mmm, lucky me then”

“I agree… But first we have to talk”

Clint’s smile dropped, “It’s about the experiments isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so”

Clint sighed and pulled away from Phil to go sit on the couch. “Right”

“Don’t act like that Clint, please. You know this is a necessary discussion”

Clint shot Phil an annoyed look, “Just because it’s necessary doesn’t mean I have to like it”

Phil sighed and sat down next to Clint. “I know baby, I know… I don’t much like the thought of people testing you either…. But at least it’s gonna be Stark and Banner, instead of SHIELD”

Clint hummed and dropped his head on Phil’s shoulder, “Which is the only reason Barney and I are agreeing to the tests…. I know Tony and Bruce will treat us right”

Phil stroked his fingers through Clint’s hair, making him purr happily. 

“The only question we need to talk about is, is when do you want this to happen? There’s only so long Fury and I can keep this quiet”

Clint sighed again, “Let me talk to Barney, okay? I want us to both be ready”

“That’s perfectly acceptable”

“Good. Now can we go have sex?”

“I thought you’d never ask”

“You’re the one that needed to  _ talk _ ”

“Shut up Clint”

“Shutting up”

 

*******

“Stop tensing up, I haven’t even done anything yet!”

 

Clint glared at Tony, “Shut up man, this is hard”

 

“It’s a blood pressure test!!!”

 

“Fite me”

 

Barney groaned, “Just start with me Stark, I have better things to do with my day then sit and listen to you two argue. Clint, go get a cookie or something and shut up”

 

Clint pouted, but slid off the exam table to make room for Barney to sit.

 

“Asshole,” he muttered.

 

“Heard that!”

 

“Fite me!!”

 

“Don't think I won’t”

 

Clint sprinted to the kitchen.

 

*******

Phil found him stuffing his face.

 

“They’ve already finished all the tests on Barney, you need to go now”

 

Clint looked up at him, cookie covering his face (which Phil would find endearing if he wasn't so exasperated) 

 

“Who, me?” Clint mumbled.

 

“Yes, you. Finish your cookies you heathen, and let’s go do your tests. I have an hour to spare”

 

Phil watched Clint quickly dry swallow the cookies in his mouth (which made Phil wince internally), and stood up.

 

“Okay… But only because you’ll be there”

 

“You’re a child”

 

“And yet you love me anyway”

 

Phil rolled his eyes, smiled, and dragged Clint to the lab.

 

*******

Clint finally opened his eyes, “Are you finally done?”

 

“Yes, we’re finally done. You can breathe again” Bruce said, amused.

 

Clint released a whoosh of breath and relaxed backwards on the med-bed, “Good. That felt like it took forever”

 

“It was 20 minutes” Tony drilled.

 

“Eat my ass”

 

“Sorry, that’s reserved for Phil Coulson”

 

Phil sighed, making Clint and Tony look at him with grins on their faces.

 

“You two are impossible”

 

“Thank you” They both said at once, making the other two men in the room laugh.

 

“Anyway,” Bruce said a few moments later “Tony and I should have the results of the tests sometime within the next few days. Until then, just keep it easy. We took quite a bit of fluids out of you… okay?”

 

Clint nodded and jumped off the bed, “You got it Doc”

 

“Good. Now go on before I have to hear you and Tony bicker any further”

 

Clint grinned, saluted the two scientists, and dragged Phil out of the room.

 

“See, I did good Phil! Where’s my reward?”

 

Phil raised an eyebrow, “I don't believe I ever promised you a reward…”

 

Clint pouted, “Don't be like that Phil.”

Phil rolled his eyes, “You’re acting like Robbie and Julianna”

 

“What’s wrong with that? Robbie and Julianna are amazing”

 

Phil sighed, “Come on Clint. Before you become delusional”

 

“Fiiinnee”

 

*******

“So what’s the verdict?” Barney asked Tony a few days later.

 

Tony shrugged and looked at Bruce.

 

Bruce shrugged back. “There wasn't much that you and Clint didn't know already. You were essentially given a weakened version of the super serum formula. So, just expect the same things that can be found in Steve and Bucky.”

 

“Sarcasm and extreme patriotism?”

 

Bruce rolled his eyes at Clint, who had spoken for the first time just to make a joke. “Sure… just those two things though”

 

“Beautiful. Sign me up”

 

“Shut up and get out of my lab”

 

“You love us Tony, and you know it”

 

*******

Phil curled Clint in his arms on the couch, as the kids laid in front of them watching a movie.

 

“I told you everything would be okay…” He said to Clint quietly.

 

Clint looked at him and smiled. “I know… I just-”

 

“You don't have to explain. I get it”

 

Clint nodded, “I’m glad that everything came up okay… But it did bring some questions”

 

Phil frowned, “What questions?”

 

Clint frowned and shook his head. “It’s nothing… just something Zemo said… but don't worry about it”

 

Phil’s frown deepened, but Clint turned his focus back to the movie.

 

_ Guess that’s a discussion for another day. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	20. The Chapter That Concludes it All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End of it all you guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY END OF THE YEAR! My present to you all is the last chapter! This fic took me over a year to do, but at least I never gave up! Hope you enjoy this last chapter, and keep coming back for more. It won't be too long before my next long fic is started (and hopefully this one won't take nearly as long). Enjoy!

“I’m so sorry Phil” Clint said, his gun raised. 

Phil felt the tears drip down his cheek. “I know baby, I know”

“I tried to stop”

“It’s not your fault”

“I love you Phil”

“Love you too Clint. I love you too”

_ Bang.  _

 

*******

_ 2 weeks ago _

“Guys! You have to get off Clint before you cut off his air supply”

“Awwww!”

“Go on!”

Clint took a deep breath as all the kids got off his chest. 

“Thanks Pepper”

“You’re welcome. Need a hand up?”

Clint shook his head and jumped to his feet. “Nah, I’m good”

“I can tell”

Clint smiled, “Funny”

Pepper smirked. “Funny is my middle name”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Dork more like… Was there anything you needed? Or did you just want to play hero for a quick minute?”

“Your birthday is coming up soon and-”

“Oh god no. I’m past my 21st birthday, all the rest aren’t important”

Pepper raised an eyebrow, “Then how come you made suck a big deal out of Phil’s birthday then?”

Clint paused. “Because.. I… you… he…… shut up.”

Pepper laughed. “My point exactly. So does a party  sound good? I promise only Phil, your brother, and myself will have a hand in it”

Clint sighed, “Only you three?”

“Yes”

“Fine”

“Perfect”

 

~

Phil taped the last of the wrapping paper to Clint’s birthday gift. 

“Is it ready dad?” Robbie asked impatiently. 

“Almost. Just need Julianna to add the finishing touch”

“The bow?!”

Phil smiled and offered the bow to her. “Yes. The bow”

The girl squealed happily and pressed the bow against the paper. 

Phil looked at the gift and smiled, “All done guys!”

“Yay!”

“What are yall cheering about?”

Both Robbie and Julianna gasped and tried to hide the gift. 

Phil looked over at Clint, who gave him a wink.

“Well  _ obviously  _ nothing is up with you all.” Clint said slowly, “I guess I’ll get into the kitchen for a bit and make a sandwich”

Phil smiled as Clint turned away, the kids immediately scrambling to find a place to put the present. 

“Wow. I’m almost done making my sandwich” Clint said to ‘himself’ loudly. 

Phil grinned and slid the gift into an empty drawer, before shooing the kids out of the room. 

“You’re all clear!” He called out to Clint. 

“Oh thank god. I had already eaten and finished the first sandwich, plus a glass of water. I wasn’t sure how much more stalling I could do” Clint answered as he reentered the living room. 

“Mhmm” Phil hummed back to the younger man. 

“Anyway… Was that gift for me?”

Phil rolled his eyes, “Yes.  _ Obviously” _

“Such a tone!”

Phil chuckled. “You’re a brat”

“Your brat”

“Damn straight”

Clint smiled, making Phil grin in return. 

 

*******

_ 1 week ago _

“Come on, tell me what you want” 

Clint rolled his eyes, “But I don’t  _ know  _ what I want! I already have everything I need, so what else should I get?”

Barney sighed and rubbed at his face. “You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Clint chuckled, “Yeah I know”

Barney rolled his eyes, but then his expression turned serious. “We need to talk… Away from here”

Clint frowned, “You mean in secret?”

“Yes”

“My apartment then. I know it isn’t bugged”

Barney nodded “Let’s go”

 

~

Clint sat down on his couch, Barney on the seat next to him.

Lucky yipped and leapt onto their laps for cuddles and scratches, which were given to him gladly. 

“Okay Barn. Tell me the news”

Barney gripped Lucky’s fur for a moment, then released it slowly. “It’s Zemo.”

Clint froze, “What about him?”

“He’s escaped prison”

“Shit”

“Yeah I know”

“Why didn’t Phil tell me?”

Barney shook his head, “None of them know. I was the only one keeping track…”

Clint wiped his face, “We’re fucked”

“Yeah”

“What should we do Barn?”

“Tell no one and hope for the best”

“Sounds like a solid Barton plan”

 

*******

“There’s something going on with Clint and Barney”

Phil looked up at Natasha, “I’m aware… What do you plan to do about it?”

Natasha hummed, “I was thinking more about what  _ you  _ were gonna do about it”

Phil shook his head, “I really don’t know. I’ve been trying to get Clint to talk to me for weeks…. But he’s still holding back. Ever since that explosion he’s been…. I’m not even sure what he’s been”

“Mysterious?” Natasha supplied. 

Phil hummed, “That’s one word for it certainly”

Natasha nodded, “I agree… So what are we gonna do about it?”

Phil sighed, “I would say follow them but I’m not so sure that would work. I guess waiting and seeing is the name of the game”

Natasha hummed, “Waiting has never been my forte”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “I know”

“Then you know I won’t be waiting to find out what’s wrong”

“Yep”

Natasha nodded and walked out of his office. 

Phil watched her leave, then went right back to his paperwork. 

 

*******

_ 3 days ago _

“Okay, settle down kids! I only have three gifts left!” Clint said with a laugh. 

“But Cliiint, we’re hungry for cake!” Bucky said from the back of the room.

Clint rolled his eyes and threw a wad of wrapping paper at the older man’s head. It hit his mark. 

“Shut up Barnes, you’ve already had too much food today”

Opening the next gift, Hawk smiled. “A poster? This looks cool!”

Julianna tugged on Clint’s pants. “Papa searched  _ really hard  _ to find this poster!”

Clint narrowed his eyes and looked at Phil. “You didn’t”

The older man smirked, “Oh I did”

Clint groaned as he unraveled the poster, revealing an old Carson’s Circus Hawkeye Poster. 

“Remind me to get you for this later Coulson”

“Will do Clint”

Clint sighed and looked at Barney. “Can you kill Phil for me as a birthday present?”

Barney chuckled, “No can do little bro. Who do you think helped Phil get the poster?”

Clint groaned, “You all conspire against me!”

“Oh shut up Clint, and open your other two gifts. The cake is red velvet and I’ve been dying for it all day” Natasha said with an exasperated expression. 

“Yes ma’am”

Clint set the poster aside and opened the next gift. 

It was a gift card to Clint’s favorite artillery store. It was for $500, and it was from every one of his friends at SHIELD.

“Oh this is awesome!” He said, already pulling his wallet out to slot the card into it. “Thank you guys!”

“Yay! One more gift! Almost cake time!!” Several of the children (and a couple of the adults) yelled.

Clint shook his head, “You’d think ten minutes was three days the way you’re all griping”

“They’ll just get worse if you don’t open your last gift” Phil teased. 

Clint grinned and picked up the gift. “Huh… This doesn’t have a tag on it, must have fallen off somewhere”

 

*******

Phil smiled as he watched Clint open his last gift. 

This whole party had gone off without a hitch. 

Everyone was happy, everyone was ready for cake, it was just so great to see. 

It was even greater to see the smile on Clint’s and the kids’ faces. They were the most important people in his life; he was happy if they were. 

_ I really do love them. _

Phil was snapped out of his reverie behind screams. 

 

*******

Clint should have realized the gift was a trap. 

No tag? How stupid could one be?

Opening the box had triggered a gas to explode into his face. 

Now his body was on its way to god know’s where, while his mind was struggling to figure out what was going on. 

_ Should have known better you stupid fuck. With Zemo on the loose, why would you think an unmarked gift was safe??? _

Because he had lowered his guard, of course. Who would expect anything bad to go wrong at a birthday party?

_ Stupid, stupid. Stupid. Now you have no control over your own damn body, and no clue what’s going to happen. _

 

*******

_ 2 days ago  _

Phil felt like ripping out what was left of his hair. 

The kids were freaking out, everybody in SHIELD was out searching for Clint, the Avengers were on high alert, it was all a fucking mess. 

“God Clint, where are you?” Phil murmured as he glanced at his computer screen once more. 

It had been almost two days since Clint’s birthday party, and they were still no closer to figuring out what had truly happened. 

Barney had come clean with them last night, and told them all that Zemo had escaped prison - but had no other clues to help them find their wayward archer. 

It was maddening. 

“Daddy?” A little voice asked from behind him. 

Spinning around, Phil looked down at Julianna standing in his office doorway.

“Yes sweetheart?”

The little’s lip was wavering, “I had a bad dream”

Phil opened his arms out and the little girl practically leaped into them. 

Phil curled her into his chest and rocked them back and forth. “It’s gonna be okay baby”

“I miss Clint” She said with a sniffle. 

“Me too baby”

“Are you gonna find him?”

Phil took a deep breath, “If it’s the very last thing I do”

 

*******

_ 1 day ago  _

“Clinton, Clinton, Clinton… What ever shall I do with you?” Zemo said as he patted Clint’s cheek, circling his body all the while. 

Clint snarled, “I don’t know. I was thinking the same thing… Except I found my answer -  _ kill you” _

Zemo laughed, “That’s quite humorous. Seeing as you have no control over your body. How are you planning on doing it? Spitting until I drown?”

“If I have to”

Zemo laughed harder and patted Clint’s cheek again. “Too, too funny. Besides, I have better plans for you than that”

Clint felt his gut tighten, “What plans?”

Zemo looked down at Clint and gave him a wicked smile. “Just wait and see”

_ That’s what I was afraid you would say.  _

 

*******

_ 22 hours ago  _

“We’ve got something!!” Tony shouted as he skidded into the shared living room, almost falling on his ass. 

Phil, Natasha, Bucky, and Steve look up from where they had been discussing what to do. 

“Go on!” Phil said urgently as soon as Tony had righted himself. 

“I finally hacked my way around the problem in the hacker, and found out where he is!”

Phil took a deep breath, “Thank fuck.”

“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s hop to it then!” Bucky said with a grin. 

“Just what I was thinking RoboCop, the jet is already on standby”

Steve grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, “Avengers Assemble”

 

~

_ 18 hours ago _

“Jesus Christ, there’s nowhere to land” Tony whined as they came up on the building where Clint’s tracker was. 

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “At this point in time Stark, I don’t even care if you land  _ inside  _ the building. Just find a place!”

“Shit Agent Agent, are you serious?”

“As serious as I can be”

“Well okay then, prepare for a bumpy landing”

Phil looked at the rest of the team on the jet. Everyone nodded and grabbed tight to their seats.

 

*******

Clint blinked as the jet crashed into the building and onto the ground next to him. 

“Well that’s one way to rescue me I guess” He murmured in amusement. 

“Over here!!” He called out as the hatch opened and Avengers poured out. 

“Clint!” He heard Phil scream as the man raced to his side. 

Hawk smiled as Phil dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around him. 

“You guys found me!”

“Of course we did Merida, we’re geniuses?”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Shut up Stark. It still took you almost three days”

“Semantics”

Phil sighed and began to untie Clint as Barney, who had been the second person to Clint’s side, helped him up.

“Where’s Zemo?” Barney whispered in his ear. 

“He disappeared a couple hours ago, not sure when he’ll be back” Clint whispered back. 

“Shit, then we better get you outta here quick”

Clint hummed in agreement, but his body refused to move. 

“Uh… Clint? Maybe you should move” Barnes said after a minute. 

“I can’t.”

Bucky blinked, “Just put one foot in front of the other. If a penguin can do it, so can you hotshot”

Clint rolled his eyes, “Consequence of that gas shoved in my face. Have no control over anything my body does… Sorry”

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead, “Why do things always have to be difficult with you?”

Clint grinned, “I like to give you a challenge”

“No, you like giving me an ulcer”

“That too”

“Whatever. Boys, help me lift him and get him in the quinjet”

 

*******

_ 12 hours ago _

“We’re sorry Clint, but we’re still no closer to figuring this out”

Clint smiled and Bruce and Tony. “It’s okay guys… Seriously, it’s okay. Why don’t you guys get some rest, since you both obviously need it. Spend some time with your family and relax, when you guys get back to it tomorrow everything should come a lot easier”

Bruce grimaced and looked at Tony, “I don’t think will get any easier Clint”

Clint gave them a look, “Let the vegetable have his dreams, and don’t argue with him”

“Yes boss”

“Damn straight Stark. Now go get some sleep before you start to hallucinate.”

“Whatever Legolas”

“Go!”

“Sheese, we’re going”

 

~

Clint was trying to fall asleep when he heard a noise to his left. 

His eyes shot open and he struggled to sit up, before he remembered he couldn’t move his body. 

“Shhhhh Clint. It’s just me” Phil said as he popped into Clint’s line of sight. 

Clint sighed, “Jesus Phil you scared the crap out of me”

Phil’s lips twitched, “Could you even feel it if I did do that?”

Clint’s eyes narrowed, “Oooo you’re gonna pay for that remark?”

Phil grinned, “I’ll gladly accept my punishment when you can actually do something about it”

Clint rolled his eyes. “You’re a butt”

“Thank you”

Clint smiled, “You’re welcome…. What are you doing up here? I thought you would’ve been downstairs with the kiddos”

Phil shook his head, “Gertrude has them well in hand. Right now I just wanna make sure you’re okay”

Clint hummed, “I am…. Or as okay as I can be….”

“Bruce and Tony will find a cure, they always do. In the meantime: Steve, Bucky, Barney, and Natasha are out trying to find Zemo… It’s seems he disappeared again”

“Oh goodie. I’m sure that means he’ll find me soon enough”

“Don’t say that Clint. You’re well protected here”

Clint sighed, “Yeah. I’m protected from outside sources…. But are y’all protected from me?’’

Phil blinked, “What?”

Clint closed his eyes, “Just… something Zemo said… I’m tired”

Phil frowned, “Okay Clint… Get some sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up”

“Mmkay”

 

*******

_ 8 hours ago _

Phil had dozed off about an hour or so after Clint had fallen asleep, but was awoken fast by the sound of the alarm blaring. 

Jerking awake, Phil turned his eyes to Clint’s bed - but found the archer missing. 

“Dammit! I knew something funny was up!” He hissed at himself as he began to run. “Jarvis, is he still in the building?”

“Yes sir. He is currently fighting Agent Romanoff, and apologizing to her while crying.”

“Dammit, dammit, dammit!” Phil shouted as he headed towards the common floor. 

Phil burst through the elevator doors just in time for Clint to knock him on his ass and escape through the fire escape staircase right next to the elevator. 

“Clint!” He called out as he struggled to his feet. 

“Phil, let him go” Natasha said as she limped her way to him. “He won’t stop… Not even when you knock him out. His body is literally being run by Zemo”

Phil cursed and ran his hands through his hair. “I fucking hate this”

“Trust me, I know the feeling. The best thing we can do for him right now is to try and find the cure, find Clint, and neutralize Zemo.”

Phil nodded, “You’re right… I hate that you’re right, but you are”

Natasha chuckled and patted Phil on the shoulder. “When am I not?”

 

*******

_ 4 hours ago _

Clint glared at Zemo, “I don’t get it. You’re not having me do any crimes, you’re not experimenting on me, you’re not torturing me… Why are you keeping my body prisoner?”

Zemo looked at him and smiled, “To prove a point my dear Barton”

Clint wished he could raise a brow. “Which is?”

Zemo leaned down and got in Clint’s face, “Nobody gets the better of me”

 

*******

_ 2 hours ago _

“Hey AC, we’ve got a solid location on Clint and Zemo” Skye said excitedly as she skipped in beside Bobbi and Hunter. 

Phil let out a sigh of relief, “Where?”

“Two buildings away from the place you went before”

“... Are you kidding me”

“Nope”

“Son of a bitch”

Skye nodded, “Yup. That about sums it up… Also, I think the wonder twins have found the cure to Clint’s thing? Not sure, but Tony seemed really hyper”

Phil nodded and looked to Bobbi and Hunter, “I’m assuming by your SHIELD get up you’re here to help”

Bobbi smirked, “You bet”

“Yeah mate. And May’s already got the quinjet on standby”

Phil smiled, “Then what are we waiting for? Round everybody up. We’ve got an Agent to extract”

 

*******

_ 30 minutes ago _

Clint held the gun shakily in his hand as Phil, the Avengers, and SHIELD slammed into the building.

“Clint!” Phil cried out.

“Don’t come any closer Agent Coulson” Zemo called out as he stepped out of the shadows. “You wouldn’t want your dear young Barton to get hurt, now do you?”

Phil’s eyes narrowed as he focused in on the gun in Clint’s hand. “What are you planning Zemo?”

Zemo smirked, “I don’t like losing Agent Coulson. Never have, and I never will.” Zemo reached out a hand and stroked his fingers along Clint’s cheek. “But I think I just may win this time. Don’t you, you little bird?”

Clint snarled, “I think you’ll die choking on your own blood old man”

Zemo’s eyes narrowed and Clint’s gun raised towards Phil. “Watch your tone”

Clint gulped, “Yes sir. I’m sorry”

Clint’s hand lowered. 

“How are you controlling him?” Phil asked. 

Zemo smiled, “I’m glad you asked. I do love to brag about my inventions.”

Clint decided to tune out the villain monologue, he really didn’t care. Clint was sure if they all survived this Phil would fill him in later.

 

~

_ 10 seconds ago _

“But that’s enough about me!” Zemo finished with flourish, snapping Clint out of his daydreaming. “Back to my victory. Clinton?”

Clint’s body turned to face Zemo.

Zemo smiled and patted Clint on the cheek. “Just a little heads up. You’re going to kill yourself in precisely ten seconds”

Clint’s eyes closed in defeat as the Avengers started shouting.

 

*******

_ Present _

“I’m so sorry Phil” Clint said, his gun raised. 

Phil felt the tears drip down his cheek. “I know baby, I know”

“I tried to stop”

“It’s not your fault”

“I love you Phil”

“Love you too Clint. I love you too”

_ Bang.  _

Clint dropped the gun and his body collapsed to the ground. 

“Jesus Stark! You couldn’t have done that sooner??” Phil cried as he picked Clint back up. “He was 5 seconds from suicide!”

Tony winced, setting down the gun that had held the cure to Clint’s predicament. “Sorry Phil, the trigger got caught and I didn’t want Zemo seeing me fiddle with it and ruining everything”

Phil sighed and wrapped his arms around the young archer. “Well it doesn’t matter now, Clint’s safe in my arms.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and crouched next to the two men, “Wanda and Pietro caught Zemo. Wanda’s currently using her powers and turning him into a drooling puddle of goo”

Phil chuckled, “We’ll ground them later. Right now I’m too happy to see the bastard go”

Natasha chuckled and kissed Phil’s forehead. “Come Coulson, let’s get your boy home”

 

*******

Clint woke up with a grown ten hours later with a headache. 

“Am I dead?”

“Nope, we saved you in the nick of time”

Clint looked at Phil and nodded, “Sounds about right in this family… Zemo?”

“Currently in a vegetative state, courtesy of Wanda and Pietro”

Clint chuckled, and ground when it made his head pound harder. “Always knew I loved those kids for a reason”

Phil smiled and brushed his fingers through Clint’s hair. “Get some more sleep. We’ll pump you full of the good stuff, and you should be right as rain tomorrow”

Clint grunted and closed his eyes, “I’ll hold you to it… And don’t think I forgot about that poop crack you made”

Phil groaned, “And here I was hoping you had forgotten”

Clint would have replied, but he was too busy falling asleep again.

 

*******

Phil kissed Clint’s cheek as they stood together in the common floor kitchen. “You know we could have gotten take out”

Clint looked at Phil drolly. “You guys have been living off of take out for almost two weeks, you need a home cooked meal”

“Yeah AC! We need a home cooked meal!” Skye called out from the couch.

“Nobody asked for you input!” Phil called back to her. 

Clint just chuckled, “Stop mother henning me, I’m fine”

Phil pouted, “Is it such a crime to make sure you’re okay?”

Clint hummed, “No I guess not…. But if you’re going to hang out here, how about you help me make the por-”

“Oh look at that, I think Robbie and Julianna need me in the living room”

Clint laughed as Phil escaped the kitchen, everybody knew helping Clint cook was the worst gig in the place. “Chicken!”

Phil just waved a hand and sat down on the ground next to the kids. 

Clint smiled fondly and shook his head, already turning back to the food. 

“You sure you’re okay little bro?”

Clint smiled as Barney stood next to him. “I’m perfect now that Zemo is out of the picture. As normal as can be given our situation too”

Barney chuckled, “Ain’t that the truth” Sticking his finger into Clint’s broth, Barney brought it into his mouth “Hmm, needs more salt”

Clint narrowed his eyes, “If you’re such a food connoisseur, why don’t you help me with the po-”

“Oh would you look at that? I think Phil needs me to help him with something”

Barney escaped the room quickly, making Clint sigh in exasperation. 

Raising his wooden spoon to his mouth, Clint tasted his broth. 

“Well shit, he was right. Does need more salt”

“Clint said a bad word!”

“Oh shut up Stark,  the kids hear worse from you when you’re sleeping”

“Pepper! He just insulted my honor! Pepper-stop laughing at me!”

Clint rolled his eyes and added more salt to the broth. 

Things were back to the way the used to be. 

Crazy normal.

  
The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))

**Author's Note:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


End file.
